Tawns of Fun

Imagine Michael thanking Corey by bringing him to your home and letting the younger man engage in some voyeurism, while the Shape has his way with you. 

Imagine desperately entering the house to try to find your friends before Michael Myers does. Then immediately getting an eyeful of the Shape’s boner. 

Imagine being assigned the night shift on Halloween at Haddonfield Memorial Hospital. After coldly offing a couple of your coworkers, Michael spots you preparing a syringe and a wave of nostalgia overtakes him. Memories of not just the sanitarium’s hot nurses, but urban legends about injected candy gave him pause. You were definitely eye candy and he wanted to inject you in a couple different ways. 

Michael plucked the syringe out of your grasp with one hand and pressed on the small of your back with the other, forcing you against the blood-stained desk. To keep you still, he pressed his groin against yours, flooding you both with heat. 

You were about to twist your neck to get a look at your attacker when you felt the needle prick your nape. It was at least comforting that it was just a mild sedative, and whoever injected you was clearly familiar with syringes. Then you felt his length harden against your backside.

Request: “A second version of that three/way slasher imagine, but with Michael Myers instead of Pinhead.” Still haven’t seen Freddy vs. Jason yet. 

Imagine being a serial final girl. This time you have to worry about the attention of a triumvirate—Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Freddy Krueger. The situation is so absurd, you’re having trouble brainstorming a solution.

Jason was sick of getting offed by you. You suspected that he was also a little envious of your other boys. So one day he laid down his machete and started taking his clothes off. Next thing you knew your feet were next to your ears.

You were still being hounded by Michael, who thought being your baby daddy entitled him to s3x whenever you put your child down for naptime. Surprisingly good father, though. Of course Jason went ballistic when he found out about that arrangement. 

It’s not like you had much of a choice when Freddy wanted you. Too bad that you were never much of a lucid dreamer because, instead of straight up forcing himself on you, he likes to disguise himself as your crushes. Giving you wet dreams is arguably more fun than nightmares. But ever since seeing you get rawed by two stacked masked men... Freddy likes seeing your reaction to a pretty boy getting his neck crushed by another slasher mid-f*ck.  

One night in the Land of Nod, you find Freddy and Michael standing at the foot of your bed. They’ve come to an agreement. Freddy takes his usual place between your thighs while Michael situates his member between your br3asts. You’re not surprised because your child’s other parent’s been trying to get in on your milk surplus. 

A twin pinching sensation jolts you. Michael’s thumbs and forefingers are clamped down on your nip/ples. Your yelp dies in your mouth, muffled by a third member. Jason’s joined the party. Seems he’s gotten over his unwillingness to share.

Imagine being a childhood friend of Michael’s who kept correspondence with him throughout the years via letters. You’ve secretly been waiting for him to break out for years and have a safe hiding spot for him in your house.

Too bad he’s had such limited contact with peers that Michael keeps becoming unbearably aroused around you.

You didn’t think it was that bad until he started stalking you. Which consists of mostly of watching you from afar while j*rking off. Until you spot him and ask him what the f*ck he’s doing. 

Note: Sorry, this is funny to me. 

Imagine Michael Myers cornering you. To stall for time, you question him.

Why does he kill his family members? Because he wants to make a new one. Why does he want to kill you? He doesn’t. What does he want, then? To br**d you.

Turns out Michael isn’t just planning on ins*minating you as many times as possible over the next week, to ensure pregnancy, then keeping you his prisoner for nine months. The murderer wants to raise children, not just a child, with you. 

Imagine having been a classmate of Michael before he killed his sister. Despite your horror when you accidentally found out, you couldn’t help but be intrigued by the case. The nice boy you sat next to everyday was capable of sororicide. You secretly collect every news clipping on the murder you can get your hands on. Then forget about it.

Until he comes for your friend Laurie. Then you dust off the box of articles and worry that you might have to add to it soon. Michael comes across your morbid little time capsule while on the prowl for Laurie. When he notices all the old photographs of you, the killer realizes whose room he’s in. The planner on your desk says you’re going to meet up with her later.  

You’re still super cute. Are you a hybristophile? Maybe you’d like to watch him kill the other sister. 

Yes, Michael decides as he lies down in your bed, once you reunite you’ll be delighted to come along with him.