Tawns of Fun

Note: Still gotta watch season three. 

Imagine Translucent going over to the electronics store to interrogate Hughie, then noticing you casually giving your coworker “a hand” behind the counter. 

Most people wouldn’t be able to tell by your totally relaxed, nonchalant expression. Or Hughie’s preoccupied one, staring straight at a screen. But to a professional voyeur...

Okay, Translucent could wait a while to kick Hughie’s ass. You’re pretty cute.

Imagine being a Supe and walking in on Lamplighter reading his ______/reader smut to a captivated Hughie.

Imagine being Translucent’s ex and hooking up with Hughie. You have little qualms about kissing and telling, so your new boy gets aroused while watching a Translucent interview. Thinking of all the things the Supe did with you, Hughie tries to discreetly take care of himself…

Note: Top ten sexiest characters, part eleven. Almost forgot to make one of these. I passed eight hundred followers last month.  

10. HAL 9000 (Douglas Rain) from 2001: A Space Odyssey

It’s the voice. Stupid sexy corrupt A.I.

9. the Scorpion (Marc Senter) from The Devil’s Carnival 

Charismatic and manipulative greaser.

8. Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel) from Pitch Black

Badass and really crass.

7. Cam Johnson (Daniel Ryan Egan) from Mayhem, Murder, and Monsters

Why is the best Crypt TV character a cordial pretty boy and not one of their monsters?

6. Tommy Jarvis (Thom Matthews) from Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives 

Jason came back to life because he was struck by lightning. Jason came out of his grave to grab that Jarvis b00ty.

5. Charles Brady (Brian Krause) from Sleepwalkers 

Step 1: Get Mrs. Brady out of the way. Step 2: Convince him to stop being a cherry hound. Step 3: Adopt a dog?

4. Alex Browning (Devon Sawa) from Final Destination 

Prettier than most final girls.

3. Hughie Campbell (Jack Quaid) from The Boys 

Does exactly what I’d want my boyfriend to do if I was the victim of (wo)manslaughter.

2. John Murphy (Richard Harmon) from The 100 

Has both the mortality and morality of a cockroach.

1. Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) from Captain America: The Winter Soldier 

Brainwashed super soldiers can get it.

Note: Previous list. John Murphy is the best character. He’s just objectively better than everyone else on The 100. Also, slasher victims > slasher killers.

Imagine Hughie regaling you with how he blackmailed Ezekiel. You compliment him on his improvisation. But you’re curious about one thing. 

You: “How did you decide your b/u/t/t got played with?” 

Hughie: “I just said what popped into my mind.” *beat* “No one’s ever actually played with my b/u/t/t.” 

You: “…Would you like someone to?”