Finally watched Gretel & Hansel. I wondered why I misremembered the poster as having the witch pull a string of teeth out of her mouth, then I realized I confused it with an American Horror Story: Roanoke poster.

Honestly, G&H’s scares me more. The implication Holda swallowed whole children including hair is way more terrifying than anything on the AHS poster: “So hungry was I to realize my own powers, I hardly chewed.”

The subject wasn’t even an actual character on the show. We don’t know where she got all those teeth. Maybe she grows them on her nails and they just loosen like baby teeth or they’re worn down like rabbits’. If not, and the most unusual thing about her is that she has twelve fingers, that’s not scary.

Song of the day: “Season of the Witch” by Donovan. Dark Winds used it. :D 

I’m going to try to post personal updates more on Sundays lol. On Hailey Fe now. I miss Junel Fe, except Hailey comes with iron instead of sugar pills. Hailey is keeping my skin clearer than Lo Loestrin Fe did. 

Speaking of PCOS, Delicate Condition is the first book I’ve read where a character has that. :D She doesn’t show up until the ending, though. There are some characters I headcanon as having polycystic ovaries. They’re just that: headcanons.

After hearing how Angelica Ross was treated on-set, I’m even more pissed by American Horror Story: Delicate’s casting. Despite the novel’s anti-misogyny, -racism, and -ageism messages… Well, those first two could have used some more work. Editing wasn’t great. Anna came off as an out of touch rich woman more than once. (Like this season’s cast.) 

Note: Playlist for (a relationship with) Winter Winterson. Repost from old blog, tweaked a little. 

Note: Top ten hottest characters, part sixteen. Hiram would probably be top five if I actually watched Riverdale. At the beginning of Yesterday, I was actually planning on putting Jack on here. 

10. Hiram Lodge (Mark Consuelos) from Riverdale

I don’t watch this show, but evil businessman hot. 

9. Quirinus Quirrell (Ian Hart) from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone 

Imagine the head game. Why is his obsequiousness so attractive? 

8. Valiant Thor (Cody Fern) from American Horror Story: Death Valley

Finally, an evil male sexbot. 

7. Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) from Justified

If anyone had to be consensually handcuffed to a bed and have P-A-N-T-I-E-S shoved in his mouth, it should have been him.

6. Gavin (Alexander Arnold) from Yesterday

Poor guy. It was a jerk move for Jack to confess his love for someone else’s girlfriend IN FRONT OF MILLIONS. 

5. Evan Smith (James Earl) from The Belko Experiment

He’s secured my heart. 

4. Nothing (Evan Jonigkeit) from The Night House

When he’s not disguised as Beth’s husband in the raw, he’s a geometric menace. And still hot. 

3. Roberto da Costa (Henry Zaga) from The New Mutants

Why did they delete his fanservice scenes?

2. Bill Gambini (Ralph Macchio) from My Cousin Vinny

He’s a cute little thing. 

1. Aidan (Tyler Posey) from Alone

I watched this intently and I don’t even like zombie movies. All for the Posey booty.

Note: Previous part. Gavin was the Pete Best of the AU. Anyone remember Justified’s Tiny in Fixer? MY KINDA MAN. I would write for him if his scene was on YouTube. :(

Imagine convincing Harry to eat you out on your period so he doesn’t have to go out with Belle and Austin later.

Note: He’s drunk worse.

Updates

Song of the Day: “Halloween” by Ashnikko. 

Imagine Brian deciding to propose to you after officiating Rory and Audrey’s wedding.

New Tag Game

Rules:  Name your top three favorite songs from your top ten favorite musicians! Then tag your ten favorite blogs.  

Thanks for tagging me, @slashingdisneypasta! I’m just going to do my favorite musical artists by alphabetically. 

Tagged: @ariana-maryse is like, one of the only active reader-insert blogs I follow. I also recently started following @rare-yanderes. I’m not sure if any of the art blogs I follow would appreciate being tagged. 

1. Aqua (Eurodance is great. Bring it back.) 

2. The Birthday Massacre (FAVORITE BAND. I love the whole dark bunny motif.) 

3. Dedderz 

4. Lady Gaga (FAVORITE MUSICIAN. Closest I come to idolizing someone.)

5. Kesha 

6. Jack Off Jill

7. Marina and the Diamonds (I mostly just listen to Electra Heart.) 

8. Melanie Martinez

9. Rihanna

10. Britney Spears (I was listening to her before most of these guys got their start.)

Imagine asking Jimmy if you could finger him after he’s done with you.

Imagine Kyle twitching his nose, hoping there isn’t any visual residue of cum. He doesn’t regret asking you to sit on his face before the Seven Wonders, though.

Imagine Kit whispering how he’d play strip chess if it was just the two of you in the room. Which garments of yours he’d remove first, which garments of his he thinks you’d like him to remove, what would happen after the match was over...

Note: Sexiest live-action characters, part thirteen. Haven’t done one of these in a while. I should also do more top ten lists for cartoon men and monsters. 

10. valets (Martin Samuel and Stephen Dubeau) from Repo! The Genetic Opera 

Amber Sweet is a good name for someone who surrounds herself with eye candy. 

9. Michael Beck (David Burtka) from American Horror Story: Freak Show

Fem-dom? No, I’m into malesub. Get it right! 

8. Royce Clayton (Craig Olejnik) from Thir13een Ghosts

I’ll show him to my sacred place- Wait. No. Wrong song, wrong movie. 

7. Bobby (Jay Hernandez) from Thanksgiving

Gives head. 

6. the Beast (Trevor Martin/Ken Marshall) from Krull

Shapeshifter whose modus operandi is to marry and impregnate the heroine. 

5. Sam Dalmas (Tony Musante) from The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

Eats pussy. 

4. Kirk Lane (Richard Harmon) from I Still See You

Bust Me Open 1,000 Times. 

3. Tom Holloway (Michael Park) from Stranger Things 3

A dad who gets infested by and transformed into a monster. 

2. Russell Lightbourne (JR Bourne) from The 100

Body snatcher daddy. 

1. Ransom Drysdale (Chris Evans) from Knives Out

The real mystery is why Marta never thought about making him a sugar baby. 

Note: Previous list. The joke is that Bobby was decapitated and Sam unintentionally ate a cat.