I really don’t understand why it’s so important to some Cullenites that he not be a virgin. There’s appeal in a partner who knows their way around pleasure and sexuality like Zevran, Blackwall, Bull and Sebastian (he may be in the Chantry when Hawke meets him but he spent a lot of time in brothels before then). I get that part, but not every character will be the same.
For the record, I don’t care one way or the other. I think Cullen is inexperienced but I don’t care if he is or isn’t still a virgin when he meets the Inquisitor.
Cassandra admits to having only one lover before the Inquisitor but she practically grabs her man by the lapels and flattens him. She may have had sex, possibly many times with her one lover, but not like the list above. I wouldn’t necessarily call her widely experienced but she goes after what she wants without hesitation.
So does Cullen. The infamous/famous desk scene shows confidence but being a virgin or inexperienced doesn’t mean a person necessarily lacks confidence when they’ve arrived at a place where they know what they want. Cullen is a seasoned solider who is around 30 years old by that time. He’s gone through hell and back in his few decades of life.
Alistair was a bashful virgin in Origins but he was also supposed to be 19. There’s 10 years of hard living between Alistair, Origins Cullen blushing and running away, and Inquisition Cullen. He broke away from the Templars, got off lyrium, and began leading an army. That self confidence doesn’t necessarily have to be earned from having sex.
Some people have reasonable meta and headcannons as to why Cullen could have lost his virginity. Other people… ? It feels a lot like hypocrisy and virgin shaming to me. It’s like the toxic idea that men aren’t supposed to be virgins after a certain age but it’s okay for women. Men who are “too old” to be a virgin are less desirable for some reason. Men have the right to wait if they want to no differently that women. It’s okay for either anyone be a virgin at any age. It’s okay for people not to be. It’s okay to have had some sexual experiences but not had sex yet. People are varied, and so are Bioware characters.
And I still don’t care one way or the other with Cullen. It just bothers me that people can get so hung up on it as if it’s a crime that he’s never slept with anyone before the Inquisitor.