Mixing Memory and Desire

Not...really. I have vague kind of “Ahh, she sort of looks like so-and-so,” notions in my head, but nothing as specific as GRACE HAS THIS FACE or ROSE LOOKS LIKE HER.

I was going to say I had screenshots in their tags, but then I went looking and realized that whatever screenshots I have are really buried? I found this one of Grace (which is one of my favorite shots of her). I sometimes think redheaded Bridget Regan reminds me of Grace a bit? With fuller lips and big, grey-green eyes. Maybe. (I’m terrible with the real people faces thing. Honestly.) When I’m creating characters I tend to think about their attributes rather than faceclaims. Like, Grace is elegant and manipulative and loyal and loving and scared and determined. She’s a pretty face with so, so, so much more going on underneath.

And I have these screenshots of Rose, which is the most accurate I've been able to recreate a character from my head in a character creator (thanks to that curly haired mod). Rose is cute and enthusiastic and excited and loving. She’s caring and compassionate and has a temper and sometimes acts before thinking. She’s bright and clever and collects pretty things. She hates being alone.

(I do have more screenshots of both somewhere on my computer. At least I know I have lots of Rose and definitely some of ME1 Grace--though I’m afraid many of my later Grace shots have been lost in computer changes D:)

things you said through your teeth

The salarian doctor wouldn’t shut up.

Bad enough that he spoke so fast. Bad enough that he rolled right over their hopes like a skinny, big-eyed tank, his pattering words crushing everything in their path. Bad enough that her mother sat there, lucid today, so lucid there was no pretending she couldn’t understand every damned word.

“The facility is comfortable,” said the salarian doctor, not realizing how quickly he was shortening his own lifespan. “Constant care, access to painkillers. In the event the patient wishes for physician-assisted su—”

“Stop,” said Solana, jaw clenched. “Right. Now.”

The salarian blinked at her and she knew, she could read it all over his damned face, he was annoyed with her for interrupting his… routine. His speech. His physician-assisted systematic destruction of hope. “I assure you, the facility—”

“If,” Solana ground out, “you say the word ‘facility’ one more time, I am going to kill you.”

“Solana,” her mother said softly. “It’s not his fault. It just didn’t—well. It was always something of a long-shot, wasn’t it?”

Inside, Solana screamed. What emerged, however, was, “There’s not going to be a facility. There’s not going to be—you’re coming home. I’ll be there, we’ll get help—”

“The cost of—” began the salarian.

Solana only stopped herself from following through on her threat by jamming her fists under her thighs. She turned to face her mother, forcing her mandibles into a smile. It felt awful. But it was better than the salarian and the way he said ‘facility.’ “We’re a family full of snipers, Mom. Since when have we been afraid of taking the long shots?”

Freckles!

Or My Lady Freckles, when he’s feeling fancy. ;)

Oh, she missed the bottle on purpose. Didn’t even hesitate. When your boyfriend plans and executes the best date ever, the perfect date for you, you let him have the satisfaction of winning the contest.

The first time I played ME3, I actually caught myself with my hand pressed to my heart during that whole scene (I almost missed an interrupt), because it was so damned perfect and I was totally unspoiled for it. Especially for my Shepard, also a sniper, and very much about good-natured ribbing and contests and competition with Garrus. 

That said, let’s be honest: Garrus knows her (and her superlative sniper skills) well enough to know she could’ve made the shot easily. But he’ll still take the win, if only for bragging rights. ;)

Aww, thank you so much! (This really is a wonderful community!

Deadlines can be good, and deadlines can be awful. I know both feelings well! I think the key is to keep reminding yourself how much you’re enjoying your story, and keep telling yourself you’re the only one who can write the story the way you’re writing it. Rather than focusing on how much you need to write by a certain date, just keep writing the scenes that excite you. When I get stuck, or I start to flag a bit, and the anxiety about OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE IN X-NUMBER OF DAYS, I tend to do something like this:

[Blah blah and then something happens to get everyone to where they need to be. There’s something in here about X emotional beat or X plot point. Fill in later!!!]

Or, alternatively:

[I HATE THIS SCENE SO MUCH UGH FUCK IT I’M MOVING ON I’LL COME BACK LATER]

I use that a lot.

And then I MOVE ON, and I come back later :) Because nothing will kill writing momentum like getting stuck on a scene. And since the MEBB isn’t a WIP, no one need EVER KNOW how often you employed the SQUARE BRACKET NOTES TO SELF OF DOOM.

Try to write a little bit every day. Oh! And do sprints, if you can. I am a big, big fan of shorter sprints--just ten to fifteen minutes at a time. It’s amazing how much you can write in fifteen minutes when you’re not letting yourself edit or second-guess. Turn on a timer, put your fingers on the keyboard, and type until the buzzer goes off. It is TOTALLY OKAY if you don’t use all those words in the end; it’s easier to pare down later. Write your draft first, and edit later. (That’s one of the best things about the MEBB, honestly. You don’t have to edit as you go; you can look at the whole thing afterward and work from there.)

Most of all: HAVE FUN. And also: GOOD LUCK.