this morning, half-asleep, lying in bed, i wrote a ficlet in my head
i didn't write it down; i don't know if i will
but i wrote a ficlet in my head and it had a beginning, middle, and end
and it gave me hope that one day soon i'll be able to actually put words on paper again
to be honest there has never been a fictional character i’ve actually wanted to date. like. i want them to date each other. i don’t want myself as a person to be involved in this scenario whatsoever. what would i add to this narratively? what’s my thematic purpose in the narrative? immersion breaking.
don’t hide this in the tags that’s exactly it
my disabled ass, after (1)good day: "obviously I am cured. in fact it may have all been in my head. who can say? now to rejoin society!"
me, the next day: "it has come to my attention that i may be chronically ill."
every day I get on here and see some post going "do not make an account on ZYLPPHONE, the hot new social media! it turns out making an account gives the creators (who are nazis) instant access to your bank account and also causes your pets to explode!" and this is all very baffling to me because I cannot believe anyone is actually fucking around with new social media platforms that shit sounds exhausting. if tumblr ever gives up and goes all the way under I will simply turn into a crab and go back to the sea you will not be finding my on zylophone
A quick summary of the last 16 months
Write fanfic for yourself.
Publish fanfic for the rotation of 3-6 people who are devoted readers and will either go feral or leave you very nice words and yell with you about it.
Talking with writers online
Their stories: Amazing grammar, soaring vocabulary, beautiful imagery and prose which flows like a river.
In chats: no capitalisation or punctuation, swears like a sailor, misspellings everywhere, acronyms and abbreviations every five words, idek
I have never related to a statement more than “do you know how much braining it takes to make words go?”
There is something so beautiful about reaching out to the monstrous with intent to touch it gently. To risk the sharp teeth and the lethal claws, to defy fear and revulsion, and choose to be delicate with something that can be, and often is, incredibly brutal.