Do New Adult (and Erotica) books glamorise abusive relationships?
With Fifty Shades of Grey hitting cinemas earlier this month, we inevitably saw a round of articles and TV discussions about whether EL James’s novels are glamorising abusive relationships. Although I’m not a hard-core Fifty Shades of Grey fan, I adore a lot of novels and TV shows that seem to fall into a similar arena, and which have come in for a similar amount of criticism. So I thought it was time to look at the issue in more detail - for my own peace of mind, if nothing else!
For the record, I’m against abuse in any shape or form. I was brought up to believe that a relationship is about partnership, not control, and to run a mile if a man ever tried to tell me what to wear, who to associate with, how to think, or – heaven forbid – raised a hand to me. And I appreciate this goes the other way, because let’s face it, there are some controlling ladies out there, too.
Given all this, I was unsurprisingly alarmed to find that a lot of the novels and TV series I love have been accused of promoting abuse. This first came to my attention when I started scanning the Internet for information on Klaus and Caroline, two characters in The Vampire Diaries. Having been captivated by this romantic pairing, I was appalled to find that apparently this meant I was a brainless teenager, who was supporting an abusive relationship. Yikes! It was a similar story when I looked on goodreads for reviews of Jamie McGuire’s Beautiful Disaster. Alongside her legion of devoted fans, there was a very vocal minority who hated the book, and despised anyone who supported Abby and Travis’s apparently abusive relationship.
This gave me pause for thought. Was it true? Were the books and TV series that I loved really glamorising abuse? How had this happened?
I’m not going to argue that the characters mentioned above are perfect. In fact, they are decidedly flawed. Christian Grey is clearly a deeply troubled man who wouldn’t know a normal relationship if it hit him with a cat o’ nine tails. Klaus from The Vampire Diaries is a sociopathic killer. Travis Maddox is a man-whore with anger issues. But, in my opinion, that’s the whole damned point.
I’m a huge fan of Lisa Cron’s Wired for Story, which seeks to explain what hooks a reader into a novel. In it, she talks about how a story is about an internal journey not an external one, and how in the best books and movies, the protagonist is seeking to overcome what she terms a fatal flaw. This fatal flaw is defined as a “deep-rooted fear, stubborn misconception or dubious character trait”, such as believing that it’s better to close yourself off to love than risk being hurt. During the course of the story, we – the audience – sees how the protagonist learns to overcome this fatal flaw, and in the process comes to live a happier life.
I think this is exactly what we see in New Adult books – either the hero or heroine, or often both, seeking to overcome their fatal flaw. In Beautiful Disaster, Travis displays some admittedly scary possessiveness towards Abby, telling her what to wear, and exploding into violent rages when she doesn’t want to see him. I think the point here is that Abby knows his behaviour isn’t right, and she breaks up with him because of it. Travis also comes to realise that he is hurting Abby, and that if he really loves her he should walk away. They can only be together once he changes, and overcomes his fatal flaw. Abby also has to overcome a fatal flaw in the novel – at the beginning, she is pretending to be a conventional good girl, because she’s scared of being dragged into her parents’ murky world. But as the story goes off, it becomes obvious that she’s essentially living a lie. Travis helps her be her true self again – he sees the real her, and helps her start living fearlessly.
This idea of overcoming a fatal flaw is also apparent in another of my favourite New Adult books, Tammara Webber’s Easy. The book opens with the heroine in a lousy situation, all of her own making. Jacqueline gave up her dream place at music school to follow her arrogant prick of a boyfriend to the university of his choice, where he promptly dumped her. To make matters worse, Jacqui is even taking a course that she hates because he was doing it (WTF!?), and she’s missed classes because she’s so cut up about the break up, thereby jeopardising her academic career. This spineless idiot is clearly not a good role model for young women. But over the course of the book, Jacqui grows a backbone, and by the end she chooses to follow her heart and attend the music school she really wanted, even though it means leaving her new boyfriend behind. Now, that’s progress! That is surely a positive message for readers, showing it’s a bad idea to sacrifice your dreams for someone else.
I think that’s what all these books and TV series have in common – the protagonists need to address their fatal flaw in order to be happy. Ana doesn’t want the kind of relationship Christian is offering – which is why, at the end of the first book, she walks away. While I haven’t read the rest of the series, I’m fairly sure he needs to overcome his demons in order for them to make it work and get their HEA (Happily Ever After).
Of course I’m not arguing that New Adult books are there to teach us all how to conduct healthy relationships. But then I also don’t think they should be. At heart, they are entertainment, for readers who want to read about dramatic, passionate relationships – the kind that we all know don’t exist in real life, and we wouldn’t want them to either! Would I personally choose to have hot, dirty sex with a guy who had murdered my best friend’s aunt and my (ex)-boyfriend’s mother, along with countless others over the centuries? Of course not! But it didn’t stop me rooting for a hook-up between Klaus and Caroline in The Vampire Diaries. If someone aired a TV programme (or wrote a book) about a healthy, functioning relationship, where the well-balanced couple worked together to overcome life’s travails, I think I’d…. Oops – sorry. Fell asleep there. I mean, where is the fun in watching a happy couple just be… well, happy?
Personally, I think a lot of the hatred towards the New Adult (and Erotica) genre is down to the fact that it’s considered lowbrow. Commentators – and a lot of the general public – resent the huge success of what amounts to light, frothy romances. It’s easy to get behind the success of a book like The Help, which has a powerful message to impart to its readers about prejudice and humanity. It’s far harder to justify the success of a book like Twilight which, to paraphrase Stephen King, “is about how important it is to have a boyfriend”.
But even if we accept that the New Adult genre has no valuable life lessons to impart, I can’t help thinking: does it matter? If books like Fifty Shades of Grey get people reading, then surely that’s a good thing. My dad left school at fifteen with no qualifications, but he is one of the most voracious readers I know. You know why? BECAUSE HE READS BOOKS HE ENJOYS! He doesn’t slog through DH Lawrence or Charles Dickens just to impress people – he reads James Patterson, Andy McNab, Ken Follett and Lee Child because he wants to. Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore. That’s how I was brought up. Reviewers might want to laugh at Jeffrey Archer’s writing ability, but he tells a darn good tale – and he’s made a mint doing it in the process!
I think this intellectual snobbery towards New Adult is at the heart of the criticism. To say that New Adult books glamorise abusive relationships gives little credit to readers. Does anyone honestly believe the general population are that easily influenced? If so, then aren’t doctors who watch the TV series House going to assume that a substance abuse problem is no impediment to practicing medicine? And won’t chemistry teachers be inspired to set up meth labs after watching Breaking Bad? Shouldn’t we be saving impressionable viewers from themselves?!
Of course not! Obviously we credit viewers of House and Breaking Bad with having more sense – to be able to separate the fantasy from the reality. And given that, maybe it’s about time that we started extending the same courtesy to young women, and let them read what they want without trying to belittle them for doing so.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Feel free to disagree with me – it’s always good to open up discussions and hear other points of view!