mantises of my recent acquaintance

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”

“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”

“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“

One of the things I love the most about this post is how “Human-Steve” makes me think that there is also an alien called Steve in the squad, and I just imagine the first meeting and introduction where there is the human guy introducing himself as Steve and then there is this huge blue guy with like 5 legs and bug eyes and apparently Steve is like a completely regular name on his planet too in some intergalactical coincidence

that was off topic sorry.

Girls who don’t lift up other girls confuse the fuck outta me

I just don’t have the upper body strength for it

Wait that’s not what you meant

Three things: 1. You gotta squat down and lift with your legs, so your upper body strength matters less. You would probably be surprised by how strong you actually are. 2. Use your “traditionally feminine” skills such as cooperation and consensus building to get that girl lifted. There is no shame in recruiting a third, or even a fourth girl to help you lift the first girl (and no shame in being a girl who requires a whole crew of girls to lift her). 3. Always get the consent of the girl being lifted. Some girls don’t like to be lifted and that’s okay.

better concept: necromancers wearing heelies under their robes to achieve that Creepy Glide™

extension of better concept: commercials advertising heelies to necromancers for exactly this reason. jingles about sliding shadows and wheeled shoes.

August 1985. ‘Go out with a little character.’

80s vintage lesbianism

i initially interpreted this as “date a little character”

Snippet from my garbage bag test, also currently known as the mer-leech! 

Longer, more detailed video is on my Patreon! 

“I’m invisible.” [video]

The abyss looks back and it is adorable.

I WILL PET THE ABYSS

Reblog if you support squishy bellies, have a squishy belly, or have the desire to summon satan

I feel like a lot of the tragedy that happens in the Star Wars prequels wouldn’t have happened if the Jedi Council had some rabbis and yentas among them.

First of all, freeing Shmi Skywalker from slavery would’ve been a top priority. Somehow, someway, they would’ve gotten her to freedom and safety. Thus, no dead mom and less trauma for Anakin.

The first two films would’ve consisted of the rabbis arguing over whether Anakin should be trained or not.

There wouldn’t be this “forbidden love” nonsense (except as an elaborate ruse to get Anakin and Padme to get together), so Anakin and Padme would’ve been happily married and had more babies.

Padme would be nursing her baby while giving a speech at the Senate.

Anakin would be too busy studying at yeshiva to fall to the Dark Side.

Also stopping slavery totally would be a big deal and high priority as well like lets get Shimi right now and let us stop slavery period.

While Padme is nursing and talking you got Anakin somewhere else in the room with the other baby in one of those baby carries you wear on your chest and like giving a thumbs up

Yes lets have the Jews in Star Wars

Also years later we got some Jewish grandmothers who think Han and Chewie look like they could use some food.

“I don’t care if you are smuggler and can shoot a phaser you still need to bring a sweater with you. And what is going on with you hair.”

No matter where you’re from or where you are in the galaxy, someone will always invite you over for Shabbat.

There is a Chabad House on every inhabited world. Every. Inhabited. World.

Elijah’s chariot is stored on some planet in the Outer Rim.

Okay, so Question: How does Shabbos work on Tattooine with the two suns? 

*clears throat* *yeshivish voice* One must observe zmanim in relation to the first sun when on Tattooine, because one cannot observe alot hashachar on a second sun when the first has already begun to rise. However, hanetz hachamah cannot be observed until the second sun has also risen and both suns’ disks are above the horizon at sea level. In order to take care with halacha, shkiah must be observed when the first sun disappears over the horizon, not when the second one does. 

There is a custom on Tattooine to observe misheyakir in the time between the rising of the first and second sun, as it is held that this is the ideal time for wrapping Teffilin. 

“Rav Anakin, is there a proper blessing for the sand?” “May G-d bless and keep the sand FAR AWAY FROM US.”

Medusa

Sculpture in Parco della Villa Borghese, Rome (Italy)

attn @yalesappho

Ronnie Yarisal & Katja Kublitz - Anger Release Machine, 2008

I unno what meme this is, but I’m here for this.

It’s called the Millennial Falcon 

Rebloggin’ the Millennial Falcon

“lesbians kissed here” and “We’re GAY!”

St. Augustine, Florida, USA

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

@hippo-pot @femmempathy