date me if you want to disappoint your parents

Me seeing two cute lady characters:

Flamboyant Cuttlefish by  Beyond The Water Surface

I get pregnant, throw a “gender reveal” party, cut open the cake to reveal a landslide of green m&ms. “what does green mean??” my relatives ask, scandalized. in their confusion, they fail to notice that the doors have been barred. they are now my captive audience. “settle in, folks,” I say, “it’s time for gender theory 101. I have slides.”

i really hate the whole “we’re not trying to take YOUR guns away! we just want stricter back ground checks and education!” thing bc like……wrong! i AM trying to take your guns away! me! i want them gone!! take them all!!! bye-bye guns! can’t shoot em if ya don’t have em!!!!!

HELLO FROM THE—

are you a book gay or a film gay? are you a music gay or an art gay? are you a soft pastel gay or a vibrant 80s gay?

i’m crying this is the most rts i’ve ever gotten and it’s on this fucking tweet

*squints at my oc’s*

Where did that one heterosexual go

*claps hand to forehead, laughs heartily*

Oh right he’s bisexual now

me, in public, talking to a crow: hi ominous shadow bird! are you a harbinger? I bet you are! what a good little harbinger of death you are!

you come into my house, tell me my favorite character is heterosexual,

I love cliche love stories as long as they’re gay