Accidentally reading weird-ass kinky fanfic like

i have been on the losing end of this scenario

just because a ship is fictional doesnt mean it cant hurt people

when abuse survivors such as myself are exposed to untagged abusive or toxic ships clogging a main tag it can upset or trigger them

our feelings and experiences are valid and just because the thing upsetting us is “fictional” it does not make our feelings any less real

please respect abuse survivors

hey this is just a request but if you feel safe to reblog this could you maybe consider doing so? i think this is kind of important and so many times people speak over abuse survivors on these issues and say that our feelings dont matter. i think it might be good for this to be spread around a little

having a gay otp doesn’t make you a lgbtq+ supporter

reading a lot of gay fan fiction doesn’t make you a lgbtq+ supporter

i once knew a girl who spent most of her free time reading gay smut, but she was extremely uncomfortable any time she had to interact with a lesbian because she was afraid they’d hit on her.

that’s not being a supporter. that’s fetishizing homosexuality. 

nobody cares if you ship destiel or johnlock or whatever, if you’re not okay with real life gay people, you’re still homophobic. it’s the same with guys who watch lesbian porn but don’t think that gay marriage should be legal. you can’t fetishize someone’s sexuality like that. that’s not okay and you are the worst kind of homophobe if you do. 

also, not to be a prickly pear, but i don’t care for this rhetoric that says that fic/graphics/art/media should be reblogged, supported or even not criticized simply because a. you know the person who made it/person didn’t ask for critique, b. it’s the “kind thing” to do, or c. it takes a lot of effort to make things.

like first, beyond the inherent problems in making it an obligation for people to reblog/like things who maybe cannot engage w that kind of content or don’t have the spoons to at that time, just because someone makes something does not mean it has to be supported?

that’s a really harsh reality, but. not all content is for all people and tbh that goes for consumers as well as creators. sometimes people make things they don’t have access to, or talk in spaces they should be listening or create where they should be deconstructing.

second, i’m not advocating for like comments such as “THIS WAS TERRIBLE BC HARRY ENDS UP W NIALL NOT LOUIS :((((( #FREE THEM” that’s utterly useless and gd rude and tbh leave fandom and earth. 

but when you lump all critique together, it’s a problem. you can’t equivocate rude comments with the same thing as valid criticism on race, abuse, kinks, sexuality, id, etc etc. those things all have extreme importance, always, but particularly in a community that self regulates and sets it’s own narrative standards and articulations?

when you say that you are not open to critique, that ALL critique hurts your ability to create, you are facilitating the erasure and silencing of marginalized groups that need critique to combat a marginalizing system, you are saying people can’t engage with your content any other way than positively. 

if people are required to only positively engage w content, content cannot ever evolve. 

there needs to be discussions about the hard things, about the things that maybe make creators and consumers uncomfortable, because you have to build a dialogue for how to change things, and which things aren’t okay and do need to be addressed. we don’t talk a lot about how “real life” impacts fandom, because for a lot of people they are very separate, but - they do. they always have an always will. and we need to start. 

we need to start talking about engaging critically and how that intersects with positivity. we need to start thinking about how real life intersects with fandom and how some people can’t engage w content in a way that fits narrow prescriptions like reblogging or commenting. 

additionally, it’s fundamentally true that content that represents or caters to underrepresented and marginalized groups is less supported and that when people have a limited amount of energy, time and space to engage in content, that content gets even more subsumed under popular, mainstream oriented things. people not supporting these things to support marginalized representation is not wrong.

as a whole, i think it’s more complicated than a lot of us want it to be, but so is ordering a light cream coffee at starbucks that isn’t drowned in cream and we do that anyway, you know? 

this is worth effort too.

Murphy’s law, applied to fanfics.

- The fic starts out great, nice style, language, captivating summary. It’s unfinished and has been abandoned since 2013.

- The fic is complete, nice style, language, tons of kudos speak for themselves. It’s about your NOTP.

- The fic is about your OTP,  it’s complete, it’s kinky as hell. The plot is absolutely dumbass.

- The plot sounds great, it’s about your OTP, it’s complete. The characters are horribly OOC.

 - Everything is perfect in this fic, starting from the first letter and ending with the last full stop. It’s exactly 800 words long.

- The fic’s word count is a six-figure number, it’s about your OTP, characters are compliant with your head-canon. It’s dull and boring as seven hells.

- The beginning is enthralling, everything’s great, the plot, the style, it’s long and it’s even about your OTP. It features something that makes you close the tab as soon as you open it, like father/daughter incest or mpreg or some other squicky thing. 

- Everything is perfect in this fic, the length, the characters, the language, the style, you forget you’re reading fanfic, thinking it’s a masterpiece of true literature, you cry tears of joy and write a huge review full of gushing love and then rush to the author’s profile to read every other thing they’ve written. It’s their only work.

@tequilamockingbyrd

People who go “I only ship the [popular white dude slash ship] because the women and/or POC in the show aren’t written well or given emotional moments” are so full of shit though.

They can create sprawling backstories for characters like the MCU’s Clint/Coulson and pad the universe with factoids, that their creators didn’t think of but asking the institution of fandom to consider doing the same for female characters and/or characters of color is somehow a hard limit because fandom apparently only has a responsibility to flesh out the white dudes.

#it was always bullshit #because movie fandoms are a thing #and also yeah #Clint x Coulson is as made up as the entirety of Inception fandom #which doesn’t mean that people aren’t doing good creative solid work there #but let’s not fucking front about the part where it is entirely made up #people start writing slash between white dudes after they meet once in the pilot episode #or if the white dude is a random guest star #or crossovers where they’ve literally never met #and all of that is fine #but fandom’s inability to apply this to women and people of color is just a baldfaced lie #it always has been #it always will be #‘oh i just don’t know enough about gunn' #motherfucker please #you have more in common with the black guy in your age bracket who shares your pop culture frame of reference #than you do with the 241 year old irish vampire who likes barry manilow #still mad about this more than a decade later (sidewaystime)

When you’ve run out of all of the good fic about your OTP –

@tequilamockingbyrd

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

i! am! literally! screaming!

@tequilamockingbyrd i thought of u <3

I took a SuperWhoLock fanfiction and replaced all the characters with U.S. political figures, because that makes about as much sense as combining Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock.

One of the distinctive features of Old Norse poetry is the use of kenning: a circumlocutory device in which a straightforward noun is replaced with an allusive phrase.

For example, a ship might be referred to as a “wave’s horse”; a sword, a “wound-serpent”; a shield, “the shame of swords”, and so forth. Sometimes, kennings could be embedded in other kennings - thus, one might have “feeder of war-gulls” = “feeder of ravens” = “warrior”; this is known as a doubled or extended kenning.

Though many conventions of English literature can be traced back to Old Norse roots, kenning isn’t much encountered these days - at least, not in most genres. There’s one particular genre where the art of kenning is alive and well, though.

I’m speaking, of course, of erotic fanfic.

Whether you’re referring to a penis as a “porn-truncheon” or a vagina as “squish-pocket” (both examples I’ve seen employed in all apparent seriousness, incidentally), that perfectly fits the form and function of a kenning. Indeed, these examples even adhere to the idiosyncratic grammatical structure of many Old Norse kennings, with the base word being modified by an uninfected noun determinant inserted as a compound prefix.

Euphemisms for sex acts, meanwhile, can be even more baroque, forming multi-level allusions in the manner of doubled/extended kennings. “To ride the baloney pony”, for example, employs the act of riding a horse as an allusion to penetrative sexual intercourse - but the contained phrase “baloney pony” is, itself, a kenning of the simple type, with “pony” as the base word and “baloney” as the determinant, making the whole phrase a doubled kenning.

There are practical reasons for this sort of practice, of course; e.g., complex euphemisms can help sexually explicit works sneak through content filters. Still, it’s kind of fascinating that smutty fanfic has managed to preserve - in virtually unaltered state - a poetic form that’s otherwise been largely extinct in English literature for the better part of a thousand years.

I don’t know that it’s just fanfic, though – professional erotica and romance novels do this sort of thing too, as a visit to Weeping Cock can demonstrate (to be fair, a lot of the examples here are from fanfic, but plenty of them are not).

“The game is called bullshit, Jehan, not politely cleaned bowl of fecal matter. Scream it, I know you’ve got it in you!” - With your thirst and with my hunger, Chapter 15

The “Bullshit” scene, from understandthelights’s “You want (a revolution)” Les Mis fanfic.

#as a historian i can 100% confirm that the first bisexual came off the factory line in the 1980s #and mass production of bisexuals did not begin until almost a decade later #pls fact check before u ship ur ships guys #we wanna make sure our fake characters’s fake relationships are totally historically accurate (via)