mantises of my recent acquaintance

better concept: necromancers wearing heelies under their robes to achieve that Creepy Glide™

extension of better concept: commercials advertising heelies to necromancers for exactly this reason. jingles about sliding shadows and wheeled shoes.

August 1985. ‘Go out with a little character.’

80s vintage lesbianism

i initially interpreted this as “date a little character”

Snippet from my garbage bag test, also currently known as the mer-leech! 

Longer, more detailed video is on my Patreon! 

“I’m invisible.” [video]

The abyss looks back and it is adorable.

I WILL PET THE ABYSS

I feel like a lot of the tragedy that happens in the Star Wars prequels wouldn’t have happened if the Jedi Council had some rabbis and yentas among them.

First of all, freeing Shmi Skywalker from slavery would’ve been a top priority. Somehow, someway, they would’ve gotten her to freedom and safety. Thus, no dead mom and less trauma for Anakin.

The first two films would’ve consisted of the rabbis arguing over whether Anakin should be trained or not.

There wouldn’t be this “forbidden love” nonsense (except as an elaborate ruse to get Anakin and Padme to get together), so Anakin and Padme would’ve been happily married and had more babies.

Padme would be nursing her baby while giving a speech at the Senate.

Anakin would be too busy studying at yeshiva to fall to the Dark Side.

Also stopping slavery totally would be a big deal and high priority as well like lets get Shimi right now and let us stop slavery period.

While Padme is nursing and talking you got Anakin somewhere else in the room with the other baby in one of those baby carries you wear on your chest and like giving a thumbs up

Yes lets have the Jews in Star Wars

Also years later we got some Jewish grandmothers who think Han and Chewie look like they could use some food.

“I don’t care if you are smuggler and can shoot a phaser you still need to bring a sweater with you. And what is going on with you hair.”

No matter where you’re from or where you are in the galaxy, someone will always invite you over for Shabbat.

There is a Chabad House on every inhabited world. Every. Inhabited. World.

Elijah’s chariot is stored on some planet in the Outer Rim.

Okay, so Question: How does Shabbos work on Tattooine with the two suns? 

*clears throat* *yeshivish voice* One must observe zmanim in relation to the first sun when on Tattooine, because one cannot observe alot hashachar on a second sun when the first has already begun to rise. However, hanetz hachamah cannot be observed until the second sun has also risen and both suns’ disks are above the horizon at sea level. In order to take care with halacha, shkiah must be observed when the first sun disappears over the horizon, not when the second one does. 

There is a custom on Tattooine to observe misheyakir in the time between the rising of the first and second sun, as it is held that this is the ideal time for wrapping Teffilin. 

“Rav Anakin, is there a proper blessing for the sand?” “May G-d bless and keep the sand FAR AWAY FROM US.”

Choi Yeon Kyu by @heojinhee_nail

“lesbians kissed here” and “We’re GAY!”

St. Augustine, Florida, USA

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

@hippo-pot @femmempathy

Gorgon. 

@adipose-abductee

Animalgamation #2 - Cuttloper (based on cuttlefish / caribou). Entire herds of this creature can be found on beaches in cold climates. If startled, they immediately head for the water and disappear under the waves until the coast is clear. Suggested by survivingcanberra!

I hope they don’t entirely disappear. I hope they keep their nostrils and head crests out of the water, like hippos, looking at you suspiciously. And if you start wading into the water, they cuttlefish away from you backwards, noodling their appendages, and then look at you suspiciously again.

bloop bloop

Look, this is my litmus test: I pretend I am the original Earl of Sandwich. I have asked for non-bread foods to be brought to me inside bread, that I might more easily consume them one-handed while gambling.

This does not enable my wretched regency habits. This is not what I asked for. I do not deign to grace it with the name of my house.

This is it.  This is the new and perfect litmus test.

Litmus test accepted

Perfect.

From “first of all how dare you” to “fuck yeah, toast those responsible like a grilled cheese sandwich.”

Gemstones For Banishing Someone:

Any of them if you throw them hard enough.

Very soon.

actually upon reflection there should be a tradition at the Free Speech Festival that the keynote speech is always given to someone who’s going to argue that the festival is morally wrong and at least one of the participants should be censored