i gotta remember this

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Oh My God Damn

This is so wholesome

Has anyone drawn this as a merman yet?

Tried my best

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

loling at this question specifically:

Jesus christ, I’m not even tall.

tortured poet

you're so not like the other girls. you're so deep and brooding. and also sarcastic. and completely insufferable but in a hot way. because you're hot. not that you care about that. you're not smoking because you think it looks cool. you're smoking because we're all slowly dying anyway, so what does it matter? (if anyone happens to notice how sharp it makes your jawline look, that's on them)

Well, shit.

I wear too much black to be a golden retriever.

awwwww ♥

My genius remains unrealised

Every so often this gets another wave of notes, and I will mention “Ah, my snost is getting snotes.”

hmmm

This is a documented thing! It occurs most often with hearts but can happen with any transplanted organ. It's called 'cellular memory' and I wrote a whole paper on it during my freshman year of uni. It's also why some transplant recipients experience new preferences, thoughts, and sometimes behaviors their donor was known to have. Like favourite foods or drinks, subtle changes in personality (like becoming a bit more daring, etc), and more. It's usually temporary as the organ adjusts to its new person's preferences, experiences, habits, etc. It's fascinating and awesome and I would love to study it in-depth someday.

Which is why I want all of my organs upon death given to the same person. Hostile takeover from within.

I'm just trying to figure out what situation would require multiple organ transplants all at once.

Doctor: well the bad news is that all of your everything is fucked. The good news is that someone with an odd final request just died

Drew them from memory

Tufted Duck by Melissa McCarthy

Tufted Duck (Aythya fuligula)