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.welcome home.

@talons-mcbeak / talons-mcbeak.tumblr.com

they/them (she/her is okay too) 🦉 i really love owls 🦉 my brain is broken 🦉 i'm really bad at being concise 🦉 i do art stuff 🦉 cuddler extraordinaire
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When I was a teenager I didn’t know anyone who shared my taste in music. This was the early 2000s, so it was a lot harder to find community like that online too. Any music I loved, I felt like I loved it alone. I still love a lot of the same stuff now (and much more!), and sometimes when I’m in the car and jamming to a song that changed my life when I was 15, a song that nobody around me ever knew, I try to telepathically reach back through time and tell that kid, “This song is exactly as fucking incredible as you know it is, and if nothing else, there’s someone in their late 30s in 2024 who’s losing their mind over it just like you are. Also, you’re not broken or an alien or a loser, just neurodivergent.”

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reblogged

[ID: a mock caution sign. The illustration, done in bold black, shows a set of hyper mobile hands stretching the thumb to reach their forearm, and lightning bolts float above the wrist. The text on the sign reads “Warning Just because you can bend that way doesn’t mean you should.” /end ID]

Happy EDS awareness month.

I had a doctor ask me if I “can touch [my] thumb to [my] wrist” and the first thing out of my mouth was “which direction? I mean I can do both on the left side and get pretty close on the right” and the look on this man’s face was a fascinating mix of horror, confusion, and “I’m about to nail this diagnosis” triumph

By “both directions” I mean that I can very easily do the thing in that graphic with either hand. I can smash the whole length of my left thumb down like that actually without any gap between thumb and arm. But then I can also bend my thumb backward, and I can touch it (at the knuckle) to the top side of my arm on the left side and get it less than an inch away on my right. The backward thing was easier when I was a kid (I’m 37 now) and hurts a tiny bit to do it now so I generally don’t, but I definitely can.

This doctor was asking me questions specifically to determine if I might have hEDS and I blindsided him with an unforeseen way of being too bendy.

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I accepted a job in communications last year and got all excited because it was going to be a chance to put a lot of my professional experience and knowledge and talents together and it definitely has been!! HOWEVER

It turns out that I am the only person on our admin team, and one of very few at the facility, who can string a good sentence together reliably. I am the only person with some art/design skill. I am one of very few with in-depth knowledge of what all of our departments do. I still get called back to work in my short-staffed former department, which tbh I do enjoy usually but it’s still a thing that takes some of my time. I’ve been expected to pick up slack for my direct supervisor (I finally said that if I am expected to work on certain tasks I will be adding them to my official list of duties though). Any time anyone needs something edited or formatted or made presentable, they hand it off to me. Usually it’s a hot mess and I have to take a minute to just stare at it and brace myself for another day of turd-polishing.

This particular vent brought to you by the two-page word doc that I was just sent and told to make it look presentable to a deep-pocketed donor by TOMORROW. I’m going to have to edit the shit out of this thing. Half of it is a schmaltzy retold story about an animal who’s been dead for almost 6 months now, but I’m gonna have to keep that in because my supervisor really loves retelling the same stories long past their period of relevance. One paragraph is going to have to be mostly rewritten because it is a grammatical clown show. There are a couple pie chart jpegs that I’m going to have to recreate from scratch because the person who created them managed to fuck up the text alignment on all the labels. (But don’t worry, that’s far from the only thing that person fucks up on a regular basis!)

I was given this task Monday afternoon with a Tuesday deadline, and with all the other stuff I’ve been working on today I have only just started working on another task that needs to be done by the end of the day today. So the Donor Schmoozefest Clusterfuck is probably going to be a tomorrow problem. Tomorrow’s existing problems are gonna have to make themselves smaller, I guess. It’d be cool if this document for a donor could be done by the person in charge of donor stuff but I guess that would just be silly.

I do like my job, I’d just like it a whole lot more if the competent contingent of our team could get the hell out of here and use our talents somewhere that deserves us. :) :) :)

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reblogged

Game concept that's probably already been done: A videogame about possession, where you, the player, are the foreign entity possessing the character you are playing as.

The story's whole point is to get you out of the protagonist's head, and since you want to complete the game, it's presumable that you therefore want to help the protagonist get rid of you. While you control the playable character's body, their narration is their own, and frequently comments on what you're making them do, with remarks like "ugh, can we focus? we need to go to the thing" when you start twiddling with pointless things instead of progressing the plot.

And occasionally the character just refuses to do what you want them to do. Instead of an invisible wall barring you from going beyond the boundaries of the game, the character consciously halts and tells you "no, that's far enough. We can't just wander off." If you try to make the character attack NPCs that you can't fight, they shudder and shake their head, going "no, what's wrong with you? She's my friend!"

At first the game kind of railroads what you need to do next, which is specifically by the character you're controlling refusing to do what you're trying to make them do. Their whole goal is to get rid of you, get this evil damn thing out of their head. But gradually you can build up trust with the character, by leading them to things they want or need, and keeping them out of danger.

Consequently, allowing the character to die or get injured makes them harder to control, and more likely to refuse to do as you want. And the less they trust you, the harder the game is. While the sliding scale of trust might not be a visible mechanic in the game, you can hear it in the tone in which they talk to you. The voice lines are mostly the same, but when you start leading the character to a random direction, the same "where are you taking me?" can either be calm but intrigued, or distressed and afraid.

Executive dysfunction: the video game

37 years of living with adhd (featuring bonus autism) has taught me that it does kind of all hinge on the trust mechanic, which you build up by being kind and empathetic to yourself. I never really got much of anywhere addressing myself like “oh my god you stupid shithead, just fucking do it, what is wrong with you, you miserable fucking failure” but I can actually be pretty reasonably functional with an approach like “okay so that’s going to be difficult to do right now. Why? How can we make it easier? Do you need to rest first? We gotta do the thing but let’s figure out how to make it enjoyable, or at least bearable, ok?”

I mean, the goal isn’t to get un-possessed, just to learn to live with the thing possessing you, which is maybe a more interesting resolution anyway.

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The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters

mimc Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Mimic Mouth. Put Baby In Mimic Mouth. no problems ever in mimmic mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Amimic Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in mimic mouth can trust mimic for giveing good love to baby. friend mimic

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you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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choysum
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cairavende

Not letting this stay hidden in the tags @punkahudsonia

[Image caption for first addition: reply by @100493503004422 reading: "growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess." For second addition: tags reading: "#[grabs your face and whispers gently in your ear] it's the cultural Christianity #they made you fear a sin so old and wicked it has no name but First no home but your bones and no evidence but their own words #and beloved: it is not there #it was never there #no god in your heart and no sin in your bones #only you #beloved you can come out now #there is nobody but you". End caption.]

Did not expect such a relatable post to veer (in an even more relatable direction) into “Christianity as a concept is evil and morally wrong” but I am here for it :)

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Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia

This (from Cornell Labs via Merlin) is the pic I was looking at. It's just a little baby but it's so much bigger than its "parent"!!!! Do baby cowbirds feel isolated? Do they understand they're a different bird, or are they just a really bad sparrow?

hey, good news! ecologists have been studying this very thing! it seems young cowbirds have some kind of innate sense that leads them to sneak out of their foster nest at night to hang out in grasslands where they—more often than not—meet other cowbirds and learn more about what they really are.

Thanks I am going to cry so hard I throw up ;-;

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Egg: deviled (will also accept egg in other forms but deviled is superior)

Steak: also medium

Milk: 2%, or whole chocolate occasionally

Alcohol: not often, but usually cider. A brewery here has a good cherry cider, and when I lived in the Midwest I was able to get a good blackberry one

Warm drink: usually hot chocolate, mocha if I need the caffeine

I don’t feel like this revealed anything particularly interesting about me, but now I want deviled eggs

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lakesbian

people vaguely saying 'the horrors' as shorthand for 'life problems, don't worry about it' in conversations where the problems are not going to be delved into has got to be one of my favorite new Ways Of Speaking that has emerged. like it's polite and vague and succinct enough for impersonal conversation but also extremely honest. it's very funny. The Horrors. we all know of them.

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reblogged

"let people be wrong about you" is such good advice that i am unfortunately physically incapable of following. if i am incorrectly perceived by anyone i will simply start ripping things with my teeth

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that is the face of a man worried he will be next

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luulapants

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

crane husband.....

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roach-works

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

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alex51324

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

  • Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  
  • As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  
  • It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  
  • Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  
  • The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
  • They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   
  • Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  
  • Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  
  • Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  
  • It worked!  
  • Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  
  • However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
  • Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

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largishcat

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

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queersatanic

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

World Heritage Post

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reblogged

the funny thing about adderall is that I can't FEEL it. like there's no difference I can tell in my consciousness when it kicks in. there's no surge of strength or energy that goes through me and I think "now I can do things I couldn't do before!" the difference is literally just that when I think to do something and I've taken my adderall I then just simply do it. like if someone gave you super strength and you were like "are you sure you gave me super strength. I don't feel any different" and then you went to carry your groceries home and just did it and didn't think until afterwards "oh that bag was packed full of canned goods and bottled water, it was really heavy. normally I would have struggled and sweated and maybe not have been able to lift it at all" like it just feels normal. not to have to struggle and sweat tears of blood to listen to a voicemail. but it's not normal for me. it's the medication

Saaaaaaame 🙃

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reblogged

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

I’m encountering this about a month and a half later than what would’ve been its peak relatability, but WOW is this ever relatable

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my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

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thebagelhut

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

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motherhenna

throwback to the time my partner put in his 2 week notice with a birthday card for a 2 year old

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kkshowtunes

Once I got a card that said “BEST GREAT GRANPA EVER!!”

I’m a teenager

I once got my sister a heartfelt sympathy card that was like “with deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences” and I changed it to something like “with deepest celebration and heartfelt birthday!!!” And I’m pretty sure I drew a lil party hat on whatever image was on the front. It’s been awhile since I inflicted that on anyone; I should definitely do it again soon 😈

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yeah, people do lie on the internet, however i am so passionate about things that if i lie it will feel like i committed an autistic sin

if i just accidentally say something wrong i panic tbh catch me putting "to my knowledge" and "from what i remember" disclaimers on everything to account for human error

From what I remember, 1 + 1 = 2. I think. Not an expert though, feel free to fact check me! This is just an educated guess.

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