*explosion noises*

"I enjoy breasts."

i can’t tell if this is a joke or a real anecdote about real gregg turkington and i’m so desperate to find out

All k9 dogs are abused hands down if you post any pro k9 stuff on my dash you’re unfollowed I don’t care if we’ve been mutuals for years, you can claim to be anti-cop or a leftist or whatever but if you post k9 dogs with like “a good doggo! A good boy!” fuck off, if I lose followers over this then good riddance

It’s ALSO worth saying that police dogs serve a significant role in worsening police brutality. A dog trained to attack a human will maim them. A cop looses a police dog on someone, and that person is expected to peacefully cooperate while a dog is trying to tear their limbs off. It is very easy for those massive wounds to get infected. It is an absurd amount of violence. And beyond the initial attack, the fact that a “poor sweet innocent doggo” did this is used to excuse that brutality in court. Especially if the victim, panicking in the moment, lashed out at the dog. As this website has demonstrated many times, majority-white juries have more sympathies for injured dogs than the people of color who are most often victims of police brutality. So they’re not just systemic animal abuse, they’re also a tool for increased police brutality and to excuse

Picard got too much fucking shit on him

Hey how come the truck automatically locks when it explodes and bursts into flames

hey how come elon musk can remotely unlock any tesla vehicle

He ly how come elon musk has access to security footage of you charging your car

do not, under any circumstances, buy a fucking tesla

coach mcguirk would be cool about it but like. a little too cool about it

"I heard about this app, Brendon. It's called grindr. Supposed to be an app for men or something. So I download it, right? But when I open it up, there's all these beautiful women on there. Total babes, Brendon. They've all got crazy names like Chrysanthemum or Rosepetal or whatever."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm a classy guy, right? So I put the charm on a little. Start chatting them up. And it turns out, all they wanna talk about is Team Fortress 2. I love Team Fortress 2, Brendon. Do you see what I'm saying here?"

"Not really--"

"I'm irresistible all of a sudden. They love me, Brendon. Do you see these dark circles under my eyes? I shouldn't be telling you this, but I haven't gotten this much action in my life."

My plans may have hit a complication

Nothing in the Constitution makes a dead person ineligible for office.

Corpse Carter 2028

i'm high and i'm just staring at this pic like it's the mona lisa

not to be controversial but sometimes I think the private personal lives of celebrities are in fact none of our business

Unless they are being closeted, oppressed or censored and they show discomfort with and about it, and try to warn us or communicate to us about their situation. Just then and only then…it’s also our business.

celebrities are not sending you secret coded messages asking you to save them. i’m so sorry to tell you this but the former members of your favorite boy band are not actually secretly communicating with you about your RPF ship

I could’ve swore you said they were not trying to communicate through coded messages.

I think RBB and SBB handled by One Direction themselves don’t agree with you on that one, lad.

Just two rainbow teddy bears wearing a real expensive Rolex in their wrist and all dressed up at One Direction’s stage tour just for no reason at all.

What a strange happenstance!

NOT. I could go on and on all day. Anyways…great chat, pals!

i’m obsessed with the way that this is phrased like a slam dunk while absolutely being one of the most incoherent responses possible. it’s literally just pictures of two teddy bears

us: celebrities aren’t secretly communicating with you asking you to save them through coded messages

someone in an incredibly bizarre fandom echo chamber with zero self-awareness about how unhinged they’re about to sound: yeah well what about THIS *posts a picture of two teddy bears where one of the bears looks like it’s reading a book about diarrhea* 

RLMblr when a new video featuring Mike Stoklasa is released

really good

Merry christmas happy chewbacca father VR gooning day .

merry