A Response to Miss Cara

Good Afternoon (or Good Morning in Australia) Miss Cara,

First off I'd like to thank you for your submission. It was quite extensive and well written. I am quite used to hate mail, but having an opposing opinion submitted in such a respectful and polite manner is definitely good to see, especially this time of year.

Now on the content of the letter, firstly I think we agree on more then you think, because throughout most of your letter I agree with nearly everything you wrote. I don't contest women are just as capable as men in most regards (there are exceptions of course, just as women are better suited to some jobs). I also believe whatever course someone takes in life as long as it benefits society in some way then its honorable. This can range from being a full time mom, or a CEO.

In regards to the expectations of genders what I discussed is on the macroscale. In general men are expected to be breadwinners, in general they are expected to protect, and in general they are expected to be stoic. There are of course exceptions, but you have to admit the rule holds in the large scale.

As for the 'word' Feminism, there is a reason I specifically put 'Tumblr Feminists' for a reason because Tumblr has a lot of the ignorance and radicalism that has soured the very word "Feminism". If we define Feminism as equality of the sexes then I agree with the philosophy. It is a problem though because its been associated with misandry and other foolish ideals due to the actions of a few.

As for the race issue (unpublished submission due to the length of the first) where you questioned whether or not I should be talking about the issue as I do, I can sympathize with your view; I admit I take a very rough approach to it. The reason I do it is because you have countless people who spread false information and stir hatred and distrust of Police when 99.9% of Police are good men and women out to help their communities. I feel like this has to be addressed, and this blog has always been about rooting out ignorance in addition to my interest in weapons and history.

In regards to the gospel, that part in my blog description was kind of a tongue and cheek choice of word, not quite specifically referring to the word. Though as for Jesus' approval, I think thats up for debate as Jesus did order his followers to sell their cloaks for swords and he praised a Centurion for faith despite his violent profession. Also, the kids with guns I think you're talking about are ISIS fighters and I posted that as current events photos, not an endorsement.

On a side note; I was not made to feel I had to be as I am by my parents. I always loved history and military history has always been a passion of mine, I wasn't directed toward it more then any child is directed to any early loves, some kids lose it over firetrucks, I loved history. These interests branched out to weapons, outdoorsmanship, physical fitness, etc. I know I don't have to, I personally love it. Its just I know that this isn't the same for all men.

With Best Wishes, Dillon

An open letter to suppernugget: Why you need feminism

EDIT: In case the formatting fouls up, this is a submission from Miss Cara @[email protected]. I will have a response up shortly. 

Merry Christmas to you too and Cheers for adding feel free to respond, I admire that you are willing and open to discussion. After scrolling through the tag “Feminism” I came across your post and started to read thinking it was going to be a post from someone venting about the glass ceiling. I was right but not in the way I expected. Historically, a woman’s role has been as a mother and wife, no one can dispute this, thankfully (in my opinion anyway) this has been questioned, primarily over the past two centuries.  First let me start by saying woman are humans and are completely capable of contributing to the workforce, sadly though this wasn’t and in some cases, is not completely accepted by their male (and female too) counterparts. They still believe that a woman must give up her job in order to mother, or that she does not possess the capabilities to obtain roles of leadership in her chosen field. A shift is taking place and now at least in the Australian legal system, female lawyers out number their male colleagues three to one and there is now an even gender split of barristers. Law is a field of work that was (not too long ago) exclusively male, can you argue that it should remain this way, despite women clearly being more than capable of the profession? This is an extremely well paying (second only to medicine, where once again the number of women in the profession is on the rise and is extremely close to an even split; the estimate being women will outnumber men by 2020) job, surely those women will not be assuming their husband is going to be the breadwinner, so please don’t be too concerned that it is a man’s world because there are many women who are changing this and doing it quickly. Women no longer need to feel that they are boxed in to a certain way of life; if a woman wants to have a career and have kids, then good on her because the majority of women I know have done just that and have not only had a very successful career but raised beautiful children. In the same way a woman can decide to be stay at home mum and that is great too, or she can decide not to have kids at all. Neither option is neglecting the progression of women’s rights, the only fundamental point is that this is what they have chosen. By the same token a man can decide to stay at home and that is in no way seen as a failure in regards to his masculinity. I’m not sure if you know this but feminism is not about women, it is about gender equality and that glass ceiling obviously applies to many men too. I don’t want to make assumptions but your letter really does provide a clear example as to why feminism is relevant for men. You have obviously seen a side of society that is all too real and extremely oppressive, as you have detailed many expectations you believe men are faced with. I do not doubt that this is very true but I also believe you should not stand for it. You know your brother is no less of a man for his feminine side, but it is important to note that just because he is also attracted to boys he is able to express this more than what a straight man may. It goes without saying that there have been countless occasions in the lives of men when they felt the need to conform with society and therefore have repressed a reaction or passion or thought because it was deemed “feminine” or at least not associated with the “masculine stereotypes”. You mentioned the issues that arise from this, most notably mental health problems; I believe we need to do all we can to combat harmful stereotypes and the first is that men should be the breadwinner of the family, no they should contribute to family life in way that encourages the nurturing and development of their children, if this is through a job so be it, if this is through being a “house husband” then that is equally important. We do not live in the fifties when woman were discouraged from having a job, a family today has two parents capable of earning an income and this should be common knowledge. Secondly this role of the protector is a noble conquest but it is definitely not the reality for millions of men around the world. If you do have the qualities that mean you are able to serve your country then thank you, it is a dangerous job and so many benefit from your bravery, so please do not be offended by the following statement as I am in no way trying to demean your job or gifts.  The association with being lucky because you are able to provide and protect in comparison to those who don’t is harmful to society. It is this mindset that leads to mental illness. Why? Because our worth as a person, or as a man, is not limited to being a protector or provider, it encompasses a range of professions and roles; something that should be celebrated by men and woman alike. I will not care if my husband’s wage is a quarter of what I am on, or if he couldn’t save me from a puppy, because I know he will have many gifts that make him a worthwhile man to spend the rest of my life with and be a wonderful father to our children. I classify myself as a feminist because I believe we are all human and that trying to put people into neat little boxes with a preconceived label is the most destructive thing we are capable of.  I want you to be able to say your brother is respected, admired and loved because of who is as a person, not that he is perceived as less of man because he may possess traits that have been historically classified as feminine. This is why we need feminism. I also saw the post on your dash about women menstruating and I just wanted to add my two cents. For thousands of years, in many countries, women who were menstruating were considered to be unclean, or that is was something not to be discussed, I think these women are trying to reverse this view and instead show it is a completely normal and healthy part of a woman’s life; in short that is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. I do understand that it is confronting but I think the intention was to normalise something for the benefit of both men and women. Anyway I am sorry that you have been made to feel like your role in life is to be a protector and provider, god has gifted you many talents and I am sure that many of them fall outside these roles. I will endeavour to break the glass ceiling, both for men and women so that one day our children will not encounter a society that integrates the belief of “it’s a man’s world”. I understand my upbringing may have been different to yours but I can honestly say that I have been brought up to believe that it is my world and I will make of it what I want, regardless of gender. Also as a p.s If you are trying to preach the gospel I doubt Jesus would have agreed with reblogging pics of kids with guns/all the race stuff/all the guns but it is your blog and you are completely free to do what you like with it. One of my main concerns though is that the spirit of Jesus and his openness is overshadowed by those who believe in following his every word which is not always relevant to today’s society, I just still don’t believe if Jesus was alive today he would endorse your blog (Sorry, this has nothing to do with feminism, it’s just my personal opinion). At the end of the day we are obviously different people with different life experiences and different views but I honestly do wish you all the best in your life and I hope this wasn’t to abrasive or long. I am just passionate about the need for feminism and hate the many misconceptions that surround the word. I really didn’t mean for this to be such a long-winded response, so sorry about that! Best wishes for the future and may you continue to be an open minded individual.

Came across this on Funnyjunk. True stuff.

Men, Women, and Violence

Now before I get into this, big disclaimer: I am not a sociologist, not an anthropologist, gender studies, or anything along those lines. I'm pursuing a degree in Physics so this is a bit outside my usual studies. However, I have been looking at related studies and have heard a lot about it from both sides. Theres been a lot of talk about this and from my perspective both sides are being childish to say the least. To be clear, I am not a Feminist, and I'm not an MRA.

Now, from what I've seen this all centers around a few key issues, the two I've seen most ill presented is domestic violence and homicide and how they related to the sex of the victim and perpetrator. I'll address domestic violence first.

The most important aspect of domestic violence is that it isn't simple. If someone is saying it is they are wrong. I say this because it seems there is a lot of conflict between different studies and their results tend to point in different directions. Though it seems that they all agree that the issue is not black and white. In one study we see that women are more likely to initiate violence, but serious injury occurs more often when men initiate violence or reciprocate violence. In another study (couldn't get the study itself from the Journal of Family Psychology) we see that women are more likely to commit minor violence while men are more prone to acts of major violence. There is also the CDC study that sates that women suffer domestic violence at a substantially higher rate overall, but men also suffer a significant amount as well. No matter how you put it, its not a one way street.

The next issue is homicide among the sexes. Now, its no secret that men commit the vast majority of homicides. In possibly the best study on the subject of homicide in the US, we see that the majority of murders of men are committed by other men and typically are related to drugs and money. We see that women are more often killed in domestic situations, and typically by men. Why is this? Well the most glaring aspect is that men are more involved in organized crime then women. Bar none. This is why men commit the most murders by such a wide margin and why they are killed the most. Crime. 

When we look at the domestic homicide we see a closer gap, but still a major gap between male and female with men being the killer more often. Approximately twice as often(my computer is being odd and I can't see the study, I'm going off memory). While this isn't particularly surprising its a far cry from the standard Tumblr Feminist mantra of all men are dangerous and all women are victims. 

Which brings me to the most interesting question, why are theses statistics this way? Are men just more violent? I don't believe so. I think it has more to do with the roles our society has given the sexes. In our society masculinity is linked with combat prowess. How tough you are. It is not hard to see how this is more easily perverted from the ideal of a protector into violence that is ethically unacceptable. This jump is harder to make for women due to the gender role society has given them.

So in conclusion, what have we learned? To be frank, we learned that this issue is not near as simple as people portray it. The issues of homicide and domestic violence are dirty and hard to get a good handle on with statistics because it does not show the whole picture on either side. We all of personal accounts of out own experiences and those of people we know, but this is never a full view of the issues we face. We can only work toward reducing violence overall and instilling in our children of both sexes good morals, self control, and a sense of selflessness that they will think of the needs of others before their own.

Also, we have learned that radical feminists and extreme MRAs are absolutely full of shit.