#srsly#my name is killian jones#my second home is that spot somewhere between a rock and a hard place#i go there often#and there’s no cell reception#fml

18 weeks of captain swan ⚓ week three: Dark Hook

BONUS:

The thing that hurts the most about this is the fact that, while Emma has Henry and her parents and Killian to stand up for her when she’s having her agency taken away (if needed), in all truth Killian’s main support system is Emma. Like, other characters have been there for him, and they’ve helped him on occasion, but when it comes to people that would consider his emotional response to things like being controlled or manipulated, Emma’s really the only living person who’s really there for him. So, while I’m fairly certain that Killian being transformed into the Dark One would have affected him negatively regardless of who did it, the fact that Emma - the one person who he seemed to be able to completely trust and put faith in - would take away his choice in that matter while he had no one else to fend for him, just makes the entire situation that much more painful for him (and for me tbh).

He values that sort of thing so much, yet while he’s been standing up for Emma’s free will when people tried to control her with the dagger, and even gave Charming the choice of whether or not to drink Neverland’s water in season 3, Emma overruled his decision to die and turned him into the Dark One. (and, side note: even though there were protests made to Emma doing so, they were never about the fact that he had asked to die instead, but because Emma would remain the Dark One.)

So, anyways, the overall message of this is that Killian Jones needs good, strong friendships, and I hope we see the relationships he has at this point evolve into those where his feelings are valued as much as his health and/or physical safety.

So I’ve been thinking about this commentary and I want to reblog it as well as comment further on it; this whole thing is what prevented Killian from understanding that what Emma did was out of love (5x08 - “How could you do this to me?”) and completely gave into the Darkness. He couldn’t comprehend how someone would disregard another person’s wishes out of love, until he realized how deep he’d gotten with the Dark One business as well.

And that’s why he presents things differently later (5x15 - “Emma, you were the Dark One for six weeks, and only gave into the Darkness out of love”). He went there and saw how much the Darkness can twist your mind.

OUAT Appreciation Week

day one —> favorite character

"I prefer dashing rapscallion." - Killian Jones

365 days with Killian Jones / Hook; day 87 I can’t get over the way he looks at her (i love puppy-eyed-Killian)

Killian’s redemption arc- 5x10 meta

For the past 10 episodes and probably even longer than that, actually, Killian Jones has been the poster boy for the phrase “have faith”. He has asked Emma countless times to have faith in all of those (including himself) who wished to help her with her burden in whatever ways they could. 

He also HAD faith. Be it in her, in them and their relationship, or in everyone around them, Killian believed that they could help rid her of the darkness forever. In Camelot and in Storybrooke, he had faith in Emma Swan. Even after everything, he was willing to forgive it all and make things work, because Emma Swan was the light that kept him going. Emma Swan was his reason for being.

But in 5x08, when he found out that Emma had lied to him and turned him into a Dark One, he was filled with a rage like we’ve almost never seen from him. And here’s where it gets really interesting: I DON’T think it was because he was mad at her. 

While he may have claimed to be at Emma’s house to emotionally hurt her as much as she’d hurt him, you can’t tell me this isn’t the face of a man who loves her with all his heart. He may have said some awful things, but THIS EXPRESSION IS GENUINE.

I don’t think it was coincidence that Dark! Hook showed up to knock out Merida the moment she threatened to harm Emma, either. I don’t care what he said, his actions gave him away. He was not NEARLY as angry with Emma as he said he was. 

In the middlemist field, when he got so upset about her “not having faith in him”, something felt… off about it. That whole concept felt off, about Emma not having faith in Killian. Because Snowing addressed it at the very beginning of the episode: Emma brought him back as a Dark One because SHE DID have faith in him, she DID think he was strong enough to overcome it, and she DID believe in his promise of their love and their future, enough to think it was worth the risk. To me, that came across as loud and clear as 4x03′s “Of COURSE I trust you.” Emma has always- and I mean ALWAYS, even back on that beanstalk when she was scared of how MUCH she trusted him- had faith in Killian Jones. She wouldn’t have let him live if she didn’t. So, OF COURSE SHE HAD FAITH IN HIM!!!!!!!

But, if she had faith in him (and omg, yes, she did and does; I’m telling you!!!!) then why would Dark! Hook be so angry (aside from being the dark one, obviously) and accuse her of not believing in him? And who- if not Emma- is he really angry with?

Well, this is one of the most self- loathing characters on television right now. He not only admits his mistakes and owns up to each and every one of them, but he refuses to forgive himself for any of them, not even after going to extreme lengths to try and make them right. This man spent more than an ENTIRE SEASON fearing that he wasn’t good enough to be with Emma. He wanted to do whatever it took to be worthy of her, and he never thought he was enough. BUT SHE DID. I think this scene from 4x12 illustrates this point PERFECTLY. 

Even as far back as “Kansas” when she saved him from drowning and he hadn’t expected her to save him, her response was: 

“You really think I would’ve let you drown?”, like it was the most obvious choice in the world to save him. She didn’t question saving his life for a second, but he did. Because he thought less of himself. 

And I honestly can’t even begin to list the number of times he has openly been upset with himself for his past mistakes (we would literally be here all day if I tried, ok?). 

Killian wasn’t mad that Emma had no faith in him (because she does). He was mad because HE HAS NO FAITH IN HIMSELF.

He doesn’t think he can fight the darkness, and that fear by itself, makes it so he can’t.

This makes him extra susceptible to the darkness, makes him perhaps the MOST vulnerable to its lure on this entire show. Because when the voices in his head start telling him he’s nothing, he listens, because he already believes it himself. 

He’s mad at himself for not being able to fight the darkness. He’s mad at himself for all the evils he’s committed. And the darkness only exacerbates that anger, which in turn feeds the darkness and makes it stronger. The angrier he becomes at himself, the more fuel the darkness has and the more control it then has over him. It’s a vicious cycle.

Scenes like this:

“I was the villain in that little drama, Swan”

and this

“every ring is a sad story”

aaaand especially this

“That’s the saddest story of all. It belonged to a better man than I”

Scenes like these show that he still hasn’t forgiven himself for his sins. He’s still angry with himself for what he’s done, he still feels inadequate. And he’s coming to the realization that no amount of love from Emma is going to heal that inside him. And THAT is why he’s lashing out, that is why he is SO MAD. He’s not mad at what she’s done, he’s mad at what he has realized she can’t do. 

She can’t help him with the darkness because her love isn’t what he needs to fight it. The more he hates himself, the easier it becomes for the darkness to use him for its own desires, and well, vice versa. AND THAT IS WHY I AM SO FUCKING HERE FOR THIS.

While Emma’s arc has been about learning to let people in when she needs help and cannot bear her burdens alone, Killian’s is going to be about learning how to look within himself for the strength he needs to beat his demons. He has to value himself enough as a person to be willing to fight for his own soul. The only way he wins against the darkness, is if he forgives himself for his sins. No one else can do that for him. And remember “a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets”. Killian has to want to save himself from the darkness. Not because he hates it , but because he values himself.

In the end, his battle with the darkness will only end, when his battle with himself does. 

In a way, the real monster already lived inside him. He was a pirate, he was a villain, he did terrible things. Becoming the dark one set it free and forced him to face it (and himself) head- on. He has more experience than anyone with dark ones. It killed his first love, took his hand, took up residence in his second and true love, and now lives inside him. If anyone is going to destroy the darkness, it’s going to be him. His entire story has been leading up to this; he was born to destroy this demon. But before he can conquer this one, he has to face his own. And it can’t be something he does for anyone but himself.

So:

Because he is afraid, he’s always been afraid that he isn’t enough.

So yeah, I’ll take a couple episodes off from CS, because this is something he needs to do for him, for his own story (and this will probably tie into next week’s backstory ep). Not for Emma, not for revenge. But for him. Because he is enough.

HE IS NOT “OOC” AT ALL. 

This meta is SOOOO IMPORTANT!!!

ONCE UPON A TIME 7.16, Breadcrumbs

Source

I just want to take a moment to appreciate the complete and utter difference between the Killian Jones of old and the Killian Jones of today because it is striking.

Killian is a man that is generally rash and prone to anger when frustrated or upset. We’ve seen him fly off the handle and bite out harsh words time and time again. This is especially true when it comes to matters of The Crocodile and his revenge, or his Swan.

Yet, here, Belle makes a comparison of one to the other, is justifying his once mortal enemy’s actions, and instead of getting defensive or angry he merely gives her a small shake of the head and a quiet, but logical, rebuttal.

What a contrast to the interaction we see in The Outsider, all angry threats and clenched teeth. He uses no sarcasm, no sneering expression and curled lip here. Just a small frown and head shake and a gentle reminder.

This moment absolutely killed me:

It killed me because it’s such a huge transition, it’s such a difference.

It killed me because it’s yet another affirmation of how far he’s come.

It killed me because it’s a true testament to their level of respect and friendship that he handled her emotions this way.

His words were not defensive or judgmental they were a gentle reminder. They were a warning. They were advising Belle that while Emma was tempted by the darkness it had been barely two months for her while Rumple has conceivably had centuries.

This moment was small but so powerful and it said so much about Killian’s transformation, his headspace, and his relationship with Belle.

All this

No matter how many times I watch it, this face always breaks my heart.

Look how fucking vulnerable he is. She’s just told him she’s avoiding him and his face looks so hurt and unable to comprehend. “Why, Swan? What did I do? We were fine last night. What happened?” and there’s half of him that’s probably. “This is it. This is where she tells me i’m not good enough. I knew it was too good to be true.”

His ‘scared little boy eyes’ wide open, his wifi brow at maximum angst signal.

But then I also fucking hurt for this bit right after.

Cos those defences are straight up and he’s all shielding himself. 

Mouth firmly shut, eyes are duller, Wifi signal gone- Emma’s not allowed the password for his feelings anymore.

But it’s what he says and the way he schools himself that kills me. “There’s more to this than just Regina, isn’t there?”

He fucking knows she’s lying but i always wonder just what he thinks she’s truly avoiding him for?

Does he think she regrets it? Is it because of what he is? Is it because her parents don’t approve of him? 

I swear it’s like you can see all those insecurities swimming around in his head and he’s just confronting her there and then, wanting to hear from her mouth just which one is it that’s making her run from him. Because i’m sure in his mind it’s one of them and it’s best to get this over with now rather than have to go another week of Emma politely brushing him off or avoiding him at every cost. 

His expressions in this scene just really destroy me every damn time and i’ll never be over talking about them.

One of my favorite scenes in the whole series.

Captain Hair Porn (1/?)

x

ONCE UPON A TIME Cora and Hook in 2x09 "Queen Of Hearts"

Wouldn’t it have been easier to reconcile with her before her curse destroys the land? Regina doesn’t need me – not now. Not when she thinks she’s about to win. But I still have a place in her heart. And the curse won’t last forever. It will end. In twenty-eight years, there’ll be a saviour. And she’ll break it. Twenty-eight years? You won’t even notice. You’ll be frozen, like all those in this corner of the land. But, when the curse ends, our quest will resume. And, when it does, Regina will truly have lost everything, and then she’ll need me. That’s when we’ll go to this new land. You’ll get your revenge. And me, I’ll… Help her pick up the pieces.

Happy Groom Hook is the best Hook. This painting gave me so many feelings. Still sobbing.

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