Roy, awkwardly: “Not to be mean but, don’t you ever wonder if anyone in your family is…you know…mentally ok?”

Jason: “I mean. Alfred’s fine?”

*cut to Alfred across the Cave, humming the theme from Sweeney Todd under his breath as he sews Bruce’s most recent bullet wound back together*

Jason, less convincingly: “Yeah. like I said.”

Bruce definitely trained all the Robins to abandon him if things got bad. He'd give them scenarios like him trapped under something in a fire, hypothermic conditions, he's too injured, and they need to get information to Lucius, and the list goes on. And to date, the only bit of training his kids have continually failed, whether in simulation or practice, is failing to leave him behind.

Bruce Wayne calling any of his children sweetheart.

Especially if they are hurt or crying or otherwise distraught.

That’s it. That’s the post.

Son

Superlords

Bruce: Yesterday, I overheard Dick saying 'Are you sure this is a good idea?' and Jason replying 'Trust me,' and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

years later

Dick: Yesterday, I overheard Tim saying 'Are you sure this is a good idea?' and Damian replying 'Trust me,' and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

How dare you leave this necessary addition in the tags

Jason: “They’re children, Bruce! They shouldn’t be soldiers in your crusade!”

Bruce: “The children, Jason. They yearn for the capes.”

Roy: Okay, enough! No more talking about Bruce!

Jason: You told me to get it all out of my system.

Roy: I had no idea how much you had in your system!

request from @devine-fem prompted by her post!

Therapist: “And what is the last thing that made you cry?”

Jason Todd, about to win at therapy: “Pepper spray.”

Blocking the view

really good Jason Todd art makes me think “god damn he looks like Bruce” I don’t make the rules

Give this man a baby

I’m sure it’s been done before but on the off chance it hasn’t: superbat replicating the “Bob, throw ME!” scene from the Incredibles:

“We’re not going to make intercept,” Bruce said, one hand up by his ear to listen to the comm read-out. “One mile out, twenty seconds to contact. Status?”

Clark realized, a second too late, that Bruce had directed the last question to him. “Still recovering from the Kryptonite. I’d say I’m at about…20%?”

He clenched and unclenched his fists, feeling the strength slowly returning to his body, inch by inch. The familiar tug of something deep in his chest was still missing.

“Can you fly?” Bruce asked, looking up at the sky. Clark could see the beginning of the missile’s light reflected in his lenses.

“I don’t think so.”

There was a beat of silence. “Throw me.”

Clark blinked. “What?”

“We have ten seconds to intercept,” Bruce said, jaw tensing. “You can’t fly. I can’t get up high enough in time, not even with the grapple line. You’re at a fifth of your normal power reserves, which means — Throw me.”

Clark reached for Bruce’s suit, grasping him around the waist. Bruce jammed one boot onto his thigh and the other in Clark’s braced hands, balancing himself on Clark’s shoulders.

Clark looked over one shoulder, spotting the red streak in the distance, and pushed up with as much force as he could.

Bruce’s body vaulted high up into the air, limbs tucked and head down for greater velocity. He twisted in midair, graceful as any acrobat, and came cresting down to Earth just behind the missile.

Clark let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding as Bruce’s grapple line caught the back fin of the missile, snapping into place.

[Dick, Jason, and Tim in a mall]

Random Tiktoker: "Hi, excuse me can I ask you guys some questions?"

Dick: "sure!"

Random TT: "what are your names?"

Dick: "Dick, Jason, Tim"

Random TT: "...excuse me?"

Jason: "it's the idiot's name"

Random TT: "oh, uhh, alright, who's your guy's favourite billionaire?"

Dick: "Ted Kord - total Dilf energy"

Jason: "Oliver Queen"

Tim: "Lex Luthor"

Random TT: "why are they your favourite?"

Jason: "He's a total Dick but his son's hot"

Tim: "what he said"

All of Dc comics is actually a sitcom.

Bruce, for the record, is absolutely stoked when Jason brings Roy around.

Because this now means that he is a grandpa. He is so ready to be a grandpa. Let him be a grandpa. Please please please please-

(finally, he gets to just give things to someone. anything they want. (finally, he gets to give Jason so much money and things and Jason can't say no because they are for Lian too))

The thing is, now he is in a very deep and serious rivalry with Oliver, who will not be replaced as the number one grandpa. Absolutely not. So now they are waging war on each other for Lian's affections.

It's messy and it's bloody.

One day, during a JLA meeting, Green Arrow notices something peeking from underneath Batman's suit. It's colorful, so it stands starkly against the dark suit. It looks very familiar.

Green Arrow looks down on his hands. At the friendship bracelet Lian had made for him. He looks back up at Batman and the very familiar colorful thing he has on him.

"What is that?" He asks.

Batman turns to look at him. He follows Green Arrow's gaze, and looks at the colorful thing on him, and then at the bracelet on Green Arrow's wrist.

"What is that?" Batman asks, nodding at the bracelet.

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

Green Arrow glares at Batman.

"It's a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

Batman glares at Green Arrow.

"And this is a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

They glare at each other. The meeting room has become several degrees colder. No one dares to utter a word.

Then they both pull out their phones and make a call.

"Jason-"

"Roy-"

Jason and Roy, in their bed, both realising that their dad's are calling them at the same time: fuck whatever it is, we're going back to sleep