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simulating Roman imperialism in Minecraft by taking over an NPC village, surrounding it with walls, and building a governor's villa in the middle

me when i fucking get you

pro-abortion. pro-divorce. i believe we have the god-given right to give up

when people go after no-fault divorce or abortion what they're really doing is trying to enshrine the sunk cost fallacy into law

it sounds like a joke but this is a genuine political belief of mine. you should be able to leave a situation you don't like. the government has no business trapping you in a relationship.

quitters rights!

If i was a fighting game character, this would be my attack pattern: punch your cock punch your cock punch your cock punch your cock punch your cock

What if your opponent was a woman?

Then I'm sorry????

she was at the club. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that she was at the club.

The F is club here? Is that your new slang?

so the club is a place where they play music and you can dance. they usually serve drinks there also.

What difference does it make whether she was there or not? You say it matters. What's the point?

well i just think it's nice that she got to party a little.

Girlies and non girlies of the jury,

yes your honor?

attack

reblogging SPECIFICALLY for the End Note which is widely applicable

For any trans (or really any queer) kids who are struggling through this right now, I want you to know

This is not your fault,

you are not wrong,

it wouldn’t be fixed if you were just somehow a different person

Because this guy is right, love is unconditional and this type of parent only loves you on the condition that you are exactly what they want you to be

Reblogging this because it definitely didn't make me cry.

ay everyone listen to this

mario is an abusive fuck

He must be stopped.

LUIGI THROW THEM HANDS.

‘It be ya own niggas sometimes’

so the thing is

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”

- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”

- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”

Making gifs is hard

All this effort ...for this

it's looped so perfectly i feel like im watching them in the microwave

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

behold, the default object!

hell on pumpkin technique

Slidy baby

timothee chalamet’s full name is “timothee hal chalamet” and I have never seen a name that looked so much like an anagram

hm.

hey pal, take it easy! you're scrolling with way too much intensity. look at this horse