The Untamed Characters and Can They Parallel Park
Jiang Wanyin: is absolutely convinced he can, results vary. Reliably bumps into the front of the car behind him. The car will get parked but he has to complain a minimum of seventeen times. Somehow gets a ticket literally Every Time there is street cleaning
Wei Wuxian: another bitch who is convinced they can parallel park. Does not have his drivers license but drives anyway. Refuses to even try if the space isn’t two car lengths long and then is like :) I did it did everyone see my parallel park :)
Lan Wangji: there is no catch, Lan Wangji can absolutely Parallel Park. Is weirdly aggressive about shoehorning his stupid little Prius into spots he can only Just fit into. It can take up to ten minutes but no one is allowed to say anything about it.
Jiang Yanli: she Can ABSOLUTELY parallel park. Does not brag about it, has never accidentally hit the car in front of or behind her even once.
Wen Chao: private parking garage ass bitch
Nie Huaisang: Can secretly parallel park but lets everyone believe he doesn’t know how to drive so he never has to be the designated driver or get asked to pick people up from the airport
Jin Ling: Tried once, failed, cried about it. Again I do not blame him for this, this is also how it went when I tried to learn how to drive stick
Wen Qing: Going to use ‘Can’ very liberally here. Yes Wen Qing ‘can’ parallel park but she will only correct twice. If god wanted the car to fit perfectly into the spot maybe she should have made parallel parking easier
Wen Ning: Definitely doesn’t know how to parallel park but doesn’t have a complex about it. This is a boy who takes the bus and always thanks the bus driver
Lan Sizhui: Jin Ling makes him park his car whenever they go anywhere. To be clear it takes Lan Sizhui 6 mortifying white knuckle minutes to complete this task but it’s better than the alternative
Lan Jingyi: Can parallel park with varying success, makes Sizhui crazy by playing it fast and loose with how close the car needs to be to the curb to be considered ‘parked’
Meng Yao: spent two weeks learning how to perfectly parallel park after someone vaguely insinuated that he didn’t seem like the type of bitch who could.
Nie Mingjue: Finally! A man who can parallel park in under a ten minutes without being a fucking weirdo about it.
Jin Zixuan: you’re extremely mistaken if you think this bitch doesn’t just uber everywhere
Lan Xichen: walks and takes the train because it’s environmentally conscientious. Has never parallel parked but would probably be able to do it on his first try.
Xue Yang: failed his drivers taste seven times before passing on this eighth on a technicality. Parks by reversing until he hits the car behind him, corrects until he hits the car in front of him, and then continues until he is somewhere approximating parked. His drivers side mirror is hanging on by duct tape and a wire. Where he’s going he doesn’t need mirrors. He has a bumper sticker that says “honk if you’re nasty” and seventeen empty McDonald’s bags in the back of his car.
Song Lan & Xiao Xingchen: these boys Can both parallel park like Normal People and at this point after all I’ve seen I’m willing to reward that behavior.
