@stunningcaptainswan / stunningcaptainswan.tumblr.com
Okay, for once and for all I just want to make something clear regarding my stance on the Colifer shipping issue because some people seem to have assumed that I ship it and maybe it was because I wasn’t clear enough. If you start reading this post, I would appreciate it if you read it until the very end because otherwise you may get the wrong idea and that is exactly what I am trying to clarify with this post.
I’ve seen some anti-Colifer posts going around and they have brought up something I’ve been thinking about for some time, but never had the chance to post about. Now seems like a good time to talk about fandom behavior and the process behind celebrity worship. I’m going to be talking about Colin/Jen, because that’s the context I’m in right now but what I’m going to say applies to any other fandom where (wor)shipping the actors that play a fictional couple occurs.
There is almost a sort of cult of personality going on in fans of celebrities that, in many ways, dehumanizes them completely. In an attempt to feel closer to the people they admire, fans tend to transfer their own values and morals onto the actors they love. They have this perfect image of the actors and put them on a pedestal and think they’re capable of doing no wrong.
I’ve always tried avoiding that. It’s the reason why I’ve never really done the whole celebrity thing – there are actors and actresses whose work I admire and really enjoy, but I’m fully aware that I have absolutely no idea who they are as human beings and in 99% of the situations that prevents me from getting too attached to celebrities. They’re human beings with flaws, just like us. We have no idea who they are. The only thing we have access to and what we consume is an image of who they are. Now that image may be perfectly accurate and correspond exactly to who they are or… that image we have of them may be absolutely wrong and be completely misleading (and since we tend to project our own beliefs onto them, in most cases that image is far from being correct). Case in point: we don’t know who Colin is unless we actually know him personally. Same for Jen or for any other actor or actress in this world. And knowing them personally doesn’t include watching them at filming, seeing them at games, spending some minutes with them at conventions, taking pics, etc. More under the cut (I’ll warn you this is probably the Mount Everest of unpopular opinions so proceed at your own risk).
phiralovesloki replied to your post “thisisevenharderthannamingablog replied to your post “hi. so i love...”
I dunno. It upset me when my friends or family "shipped" me with people ("Why aren't you with So-and-SO?" "He has a girlfriend and we're just friends." "But you'd be so cute together!"). As for Jennifer and Colin, I know that Jen has had to publicly state that she and Colin are just friends. Boundaries ARE crossed.
I think that’s the vital thing in this, though. It’s only okay to ship it if people know how not to cross boundaries. I tried to really focus on that part in my post. Unfortunately, and as I stated, boundaries are indeed crossed but, from what I see, that’s still only a minority. Most people know how to behave. The thing is that if everyone was mature and had enough common sense, none of this would ever get to Jen or Colin. They wouldn’t even know about it. And if they didn’t know about it, they couldn’t be upset by it. Is it difficult for it be this way? Sure, because there are always immature people who ruin it, but I can’t see how the concept of shipping them is wrong or harms them. To me, it all depends on the people and how they handle it, not on the act of shipping them itself.
Hi, thanks so much for your post about Colifer, your explanation about shipping being like falling in love was completely accurate and exactly what it was for me. Honestly, I am mostly in the "closet" about it and I fought against it for so long because I felt guilty about thinking that they look cute together, but then I thought that first of all me shipping Colifer doesn't mean I wish Colin's marriage fail or anything, and that I would obviously never ever tweet them about it, and (cont)
(2/3) that I genuinely do think they look cute together and that I feel if their lives had been different or they had met earlier probably they would have fallen in love. But quite frankly, the attitude of people in this fandom, like one of the replies you just got to your post, keeps me from ever coming out of my shipping closet, so to speak. I mean I love my shipmates, I do, but I feel there’s a lot of righteousness in the fandom a lot of the time and it makes me kind of angry, ppl say (cont)(3/3) say that shipping Colifer is rude as if that was the worst thing in the fandom, when 99% of the people I know keep to themselves and their tight group about it and never tweet Colin or Jen about it, and getting told I’m basically satan for feeling something that is NOT hurting anyone in the slightest is just really off-putting. It’s perfectly fine if people don’t agree with shipping real ppl or whatever, but I really wish the righteousness and condescension would stop *sigh*(Sorry, last one I promise) Anyway, I just wanted to thank you again for your thoughtful post, and even when I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to “publicly” admit I ship it, I still will enjoy their actual friendship and camaraderie and be thankful that there are kind, open-minded and thoughtful people out there like you who don’t hate us just because.
Hey anon! Thanks for the heartfelt message. I think your feelings match a lot of those in the fandom that I have been able to interact with. As I mentioned in my first post, I think it’s sad how so many people are villainized because of this. It doesn’t make sense to me, especially when it seems to be this huge big deal only in the OUAT fandom. I guess it could be a consequence of everything being exacerbated here, who knows? Either way, I think it’s awful this is preventing people from “coming out”, as you mentioned. I know people who would literally lose friends if they admitted to shipping Colifer and/or other real life ships. How sad is that?
Having said that, this allows for an important reflection on life in general and not just related to shipping: people will disagree with you (and they also have all the right to it). And they’ll probably even judge you, it’s just the way it is. But if you believe in something, you should stand by it, no matter what. Do you believe in it? Are you sure that what might be said about you isn’t your truth? Then don’t be afraid to show it. Life gets a lot funnier and easier when you stop being afraid of what other people may say or think about you. Don’t be afraid. There’ll always be at least one person knowing how you feel.
If you (or anybody else) ever want to vent about this, feel free to come off anon and message me privately :)
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Hm, well, to your why the negative view? I think it's rude, full stop. That they're famous and I'm not doesn't matter; they're *people*. But I'm not a big shipper, period; shipping as being like falling in love makes no sense to me. Eh. :)
Thanks for the answer! I respect that, but it’s not really a question of being famous or not. You can ship/support/whichever-people-call-it real people who aren’t even famous. If it’s handled respectfully by not imposing that on them, I don’t see why it has to be rude. I think it’s unfair to call it that, tbh. As for the falling in love thing, I can only speak based on my own experiences as they are what allow me to shape my opinions on various matters. As I said, I never consciously chose to ship someone, IRL or fictionally, just like I don’t consciously choose who I’m going to fall in love with. It’s not exactly in my power to control. Most of the shippers I have come across in different fandoms feel the same way - something is triggered inside of you and it happens. And before you know it, you’re shipping it. That is also the reason why, even when some relationships are toxic, people still ship them even though they acknowledge how problematic the whole thing is. But what to do? That ship still holds a special significance, it’s not really controllable. That’s why I have a hard time trying to understand how shipping is not like falling in love. I think it’s based pretty much on the same unconscious process as falling in love with someone. Just to finish, I understand the argument that they’re people, but aren’t we too? And if nobody’s feelings are being hurt or damaged, I fail to see the issue. Of course if boundaries are being crossed, whoa there. Time to make a serious reflection on the matter. But if people behave, I think it’s harmless :)
hi. so i love your opinions and you're very lucid which is why i love your blog. what do you think about the Colifer ship? i try not to ship them because Colin is married but i can't help it. i really try to fight it but it's there. do you have any advise? thank u.
Hi! And thanks for the compliment :) Omg, you’ve spoken what in this fandom I like to call the “C” word. This is going to be controversial, but I believe 100% in what I’ll be saying so I really have no issue in putting it “on paper”. And I think it’s something that needs to be said.
What do I think about the Colifer ship? I’ve said it before: people are allowed to ship whoever they want. I don’t see why shipping Colin and Jen together should be any different. More under the cut.
