omg, imagine:

logan doing movember for wade

logan shaving his signature beard down to just the moustache to raise awareness for men's cancer and mental health, both causes that obviously hit close to home for wade (and logan!)

logan doing all of this in conjunction with [insert some x-men foundation here lmao], who will match his campaign dollar for dollar

wade being genuinely touched bc cancer sucks cock and balls to discuss seriously, much less campaign a whole 30 days for

wade knowing how difficult it is for logan to be doing something so publicly like this and truly is moved by the gesture

wade who—upon finding out what logan's doing—can only say some bullshit like, "honey badger's got enough fur for the both of us to pull this off LOL!" bc if he says something sincere he might cry instead

logan knowing what wade means anyway, hearing the catch in wade's throat when he finally tells wade what he's planning

logan on missions and taking anyone who dares to comment on Wolverine's New Look in stride bc he can suck up his pride when it comes to wade to important things like this

logan making anyone who teases him look like jackasses when he drops that he's rocking the 'stache to raise money for organizations specifically focusing on men's health in mutants

logan now being able to smugly shut down people who make fun of wade by dropping gems like, "he's got cancer, you prick," and, "i'm doing this for him"

logan who—with the help of the xavier institute's staff and students, plus wade's friends—raises a sizeable sum of money just for growing out the hair on his upper lip

ohhhhhhhh my god 😭😭😭😭😭

You'll be there to push me up the hill | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 5.4k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 30 – Treasure

A/N: This was just an excuse to write about Wade's movie friendships because I adore all of them lmao. Un-beta'd and I wholeheartedly apologize—this is a Mess™ y'all. Title is from Aretha Franklin's You're All I Need to Get By.

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My neighbors and my friends / are very dear to me / They are always there / whenever there is a need

We talk to each other / and we borrow and lend / Such treasures they are, / my neighbors and friends

How lonely and cheerless / a place my soul would be / Without such neighbors / and good friends as these

My Neighbors and Friends Edited Poem by Ellen Bailey

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0.

Ever since he moved to Wade’s timeline, Logan takes to his new world with relative ease. There are minor differences here and there—pieces of history that shook out differently, random names of things that are slightly altered, everyone he once knew just smells different here—but by far his biggest learning curve has just been integrating himself into Wade’s life. Deadpool out of his suit is as chaotic as he is in it, just with marginally less violence.

(Only marginally less because Wade never leaves home without at least one pistol and Baby Knife.)

But it’s not that Wade has the eating preferences of a child addicted to hot sauce, or that he can’t function without a quarter of a boner, or that he literally never shuts up (ever) that confuses Logan the most.

It’s Wade’s little mish-mash group that he calls a family.

Individually, everyone is fine. They don’t blink twice at Logan moving in with Wade and Althea, a dog in tow and a teenage quasi-daughter following shortly after. They’re all wonderfully kind people who welcome the three of them into their little fold of found family.

But he is pretty confused by how this eclectic group is friends with someone like Wade. Between Yukio’s bubbliness and Peter’s awfully mediocre lifestyle, half the folks Wade saved his universe for are some of the last people Logan thinks would hang out with Wade.

Willingly, at that.

Much less actually maintain a friendship with him.

It takes Logan a while to figure out that they fit into Wade’s life the same way he does.

Everyone stays because they somehow, some way, really do love Wade Wilson, and he gives them all the love he can possibly give in return.

btw deadpool & tbh wolverine

insp by these posts by @brainrotcharacters

Happy Birthday to Ryan Reynolds, Belated Birthday to Hugh Jackman + Logan Howlett, and a Vague Birthday Greeting to resident Scorpio, Comic 616!Wade Wilson 😂🥳

Bonus: (ID in alt text~!)

Minor Differences | Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson, 1.9k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 20 – Pop Culture

A/N: Once again, I'm taking today's prompt fast and loose so forgive me in advance 😅🙏 Un-beta'd but quite frankly it's a miracle I even finished on time lmao. Can you believe this was originally supposed to be ~600 words? (ノ_<、)

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The first time Logan notices that his new timeline isn’t identical to his old one, it’s over a subtle name change.

He’s reading the Saturday paper in the living room, Wade watching some reality show on the seat next to him with Mary Puppins in his lap, when Althea leaves her room and shuffles into the kitchen.

“Alexa,” she calls out, “what time is it?”

A robotic voice replies, “The time is 5:43pm.”

Logan drops the newspaper from obscuring his face. He immediately finds the source of the reply on the coffee table: a grey, cylindrical device that looks like a mini speaker, control buttons on its side. It blinks a turquoise light around the rim until the light turns off with a muted beep at the extended silence.

“What the fuck?” he wonders out loud, surprised to see such a familiar gadget.

“Have you not interacted with an Echo before, peanut?” Wade asks. “Did you not have Bezos’ army of listening devices where you’re from?”

chaos, we so catostrophic | Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson, 1.1k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 17 – Cozy

A/N: I'm taking today's prompt real fast and loose here so please forgive me lmao. Title from Chk Chk Boom by Stray Kids because I'm still offended it wasn't included in the OST, smh 😑 Shout out to the wonderful Zay @comatose--overdose for the beta, idea throwing, and putting up with my ass (ಥ‿ಥ) All other mistakes are mine.

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“It’s like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, and in a bed of gonorrhoea—”

“Wow.”

“—and didn’t stop ‘til the sun came up!”

“Whatever it is, I ain’t taking care of it.”

“Don’t worry about that. Besides, we should talk about how Logan is here to live with us!”

“No, I’m not...?”

“How the fuck are we supposed to keep a mangy dog and another whole-ass human being alive in this shithole apartment, Wade?”

“Gasp! How dare you call her mangy? She’s a princess and deserves to be treated like royalty!”

“And you want her to live in this cocaine-less den?”

“Did you just say ‘gasp’ out loud, bub?”

“The movie’s almost over, so I can probably hook you up with Doug’s forbidden baking powder soon. I’ll figure it out!”

“What about the entire man—”

“Ooh, that he is.”

“—that you intend to house in this one-bed, one-bath?”

“I’ll only be here until I can get on my feet, ma’am.”

“Nope, you’re staying here until you’re 90! Also, ‘ma’am’? Logan, I’m pretty sure you’re twice her age.”

“What the fuck?”

“Oh yeah, Logan’s the Wolverine and he’s, like, stupid old.”

“Fuck you.”

“...I thought Wolverine died?”

“This is a new one.”

“How the fuck did you get a fucking new one?”

“I’ll give you the abridged version of the movie later, after everybody settles in.”

Feel your way | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 2.7k, NC-17

@poolvertober: Day 8 – Bloodbath

A/N: Title from You're the One That I Want from Grease because it's right there. Horrifically un-beta'd and I'd apologize but my eyeballs will fall out their sockets if I have to proofread this one more time /o\

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“I take it all back—the Honda Odyssey fucks hard,” Wade breathes out, head lolling with perverse satisfaction. He lifts the hand holding baby knife to beckon Logan back to him, two fingers curled and teasing. “Too bad you don’t, needle dick.”

Logan rises to the bait. “Oh, we’re just getting started, bub.”

And Logan leaps towards him again with a roar, claws sinking into Wade’s chest cavity. When he pulls his claws out for another attack, Wade manages to grab one of Logan’s arms to stab him clean through the tricep, but Logan uses the connection to pull Wade into leaning sideways. With Wade’s right side more exposed, Logan’s free hand begins to jab him repeatedly in the temple before moving down to do more of the same to Wade’s shoulder. Wade presses his thigh against Logan’s torso, trying to use his leg to swinging himself upright. He brings up a forearm to block Logan’s wrist, pushing away the claws now slashing at him anywhere they can reach.

The symphony of metal against metal, metal penetrating flesh, and the Honda groaning from the violence accompany his and Logan’s grunts and growls, the occasional curse and insult dotting their fucked up little melody. Body ephemera spews everywhere, flesh and guts continuing to paint the car’s interior like a bloody Jackson Pollock, with glass and ripped up seat fabric also scattered around.

It’s been a long while since Wade fought someone that just won’t fucking quit, most people being lame losers and doing stupid things like dying before he can really get into it. At some point between choking Logan with a seatbelt and Logan’s claws stabbing right through his brain, Wade stopped fighting Logan over his painfully accurate monologue about Wade’s shitty life to fighting Logan because it feels fucking glorious to spar with someone who tosses back just as much as Wade throws at them.

this wade

with this logan

i have been going insane thinking about these two giving these exact hearteyes at each other

knee deep in the couch seat and you're not eating me out | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 1.8k, T

@poolvertober: Day 4 – Casual

A/N: Title is a bastardization of Chappell Roan's Casual, because I obviously had to for today's prompt. (I am so sorry Ms. Roan /o\) Un-beta'd and I deeply apologize—I just wanted to get this posted before I chickened out again 😅🙏 Inspired by this fanart because I could not get it out of my head lmao.

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Logan has only been living with Wade, Althea, and Dogpool for a few months but there’s a few things he picks up on.

One: Never question what Althea does. Ever.

Two: Mary Puppins is a living vacuum and will put anything in her mouth given the chance.

Three: Wade can have really, really bad days.

If Logan sees Wade with the Deadpool mask on the moment he wakes up, he knows he’s in for at least five hours of the bitchiest man he’s ever had the displeasure of meeting. He doesn’t blame Wade in the slightest for having bad days (the fuck kind of hypocrite would that make him?) but it doesn’t mean he’s just gonna take it if Wade is being particularly annoying.

“Bub,” he says carefully, warningly, his voice low and gruff, “the only reason why I’m not skewering your skull is because I just finished mopping the floor. Get your fucking face off’a me.”

Wade’s got his face buried in his chest, nose tucked firmly in between the crevice of Logan’s pecs, his hands petting the skin there. He, predictably, shakes his head no.

Wade’s erection had been pressing into Logan’s crotch for the better part of half an hour.

It was extremely uncomfortable at first, especially with one of the Fantastic Four kids in the corner just waggling his eyebrows at him when he somehow found out. (How? Logan didn’t fucking know.) He could’ve sliced through their bonds—sliced through Wade—with practiced ease but he knew better than to try escaping in the middle of fuck-knows-where when the baddies driving them to fuck-knows-what had a giant magnet to subdue him. Logan didn’t even know where to go if he somehow managed to escape. Better to suss out what the hell he got himself into while he had downtime and two near useless allies with him.

Even if one of them—the most annoying motherfucker alive—was all but grinding on his hip.

“I’ll clock you out!”

“Forever!”

“Forever,” Wade hears Peter repeat wistfully as he and Logan jog off the parking lot.

They’re on their way back to Wade’s place (where the time ripper is conveniently across the street and a short distance away from the DriveMax dealership) when Wade asks, “So were you just in the trunk the entire time, peanut?”

Logan doesn’t even spare him a glance, keeping pace with him without losing a breath.

“The fuck are you talkin’ about, bub?”

“On our way to Cassandra’s,” Wade clarifies cheerfully. “Last night you were like, ‘You’re all gonna die, wah wah,’ but you showed up anyway!”

“Yeah, and?”

They round a corner, familiar streets increasing Wade’s anticipation with every step they take.

“Well, it’s not like you squeezed in the back seat with Blade and the others,” he points out. Then he pauses, stops in his stride altogether. “Right?”

Wade suddenly realizes there is a genuine chance he missed Logan back there. Things slip his notice all the time—it wouldn’t exactly be surprising if he managed to ignore a whole human in the back seat. A bit strange that it was Logan of all people, but not really out of character for him.

Logan also stops with a glare, reaching a hand to grab one of the straps on his suit. “Keep moving, idiot. Walk and talk!”

Wade holds back an eyeroll and bats away Logan’s hand before they continue running. “I'm just saying I didn’t see you back there sitting with Gambit and Laura.”

"Fine!" he snarls. "Yes, you annoying motherfucker, I sat my ass in the trunk of that fuckin’ Honda.”

"Huh!" is all Wade can say.

Logan looks at him with a scowl. “What? You’re not happy I joined your suicide squad—”

“Wrong universe, peanut.”

“—to take on Cassandra?”

“No,” Wade says simply. “I’m just thinking about your comic-inaccurate, giant, juicy butt trying to squeeze in the back of that excuse for a minivan.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’ll happily let you once we’re done saving my universe, sugar buns.”

They banter back and forth over completely inane shit because Wade is who he is and Logan rises to the bait, but before long they turn the last corner and catch Paradox already running up to meet them.