*drawing cards*
Nica: *playing standard card* Ace of Spades
Kyle: *playing uno card* Plus 4, Blue
Glen: *playing pokemon card* Jolteon, I choose you!
Glenda: *playing CAH card* Graverobbing
Andy: *frustrated* What game are we playing?
Tiffany: Every night I hear you counting sheeps.
Chucky: Those aren't sheeps, I count stabs to Andy.
Andy: Have you seen my wallet?
Kyle: I don't know, what does it look like?
Andy: Old, ruined and empty, like my life.
Andy: Uh, is everything ok?
Devon: Oh yeah, we're cool.
Jake: Yeah, what did you expect?
Andy: Pandemonium? Disaster?
Jake: I told you I could handle it!
Andy: Well that's great, sweetie. But to tell the truth I don't think I'll be taking another day off for a while. Time off is fun but cleaning up after your messes is what I live for!
Devon: So what you're saying you'd rather fix our mistakes than relax at a spa?
Andy: Every time!
Jake: Yay! Then do I have good news for you! *kicks down the wall, revealing the complete disaster unleashed in his absense*
chucky: I will be very cruel with you, nica.
nica: are you going to adopt me into your family?
Glenda: [reading] Whoa, Andy's been arrested six times. Aww, Nica's only been arrested twice.
Andy * suddenly breaking in into tiffany's home, freaking glen out*: Guess I should have knocked.
Glen: oh my god, what are you doing here?
Andy: Dissapointing my kids.
Nica: You know what? This is totally bogus!
Andy: I'm going to do my best to ignore the fact that you just used the word "bogus"
Nica: You don't go to war without a general! You don't play football without a quarterback! You don't have a wolf pack without... what's the head wolf called?
Andy: The lone wolf?
Nica: The lone wolf can't be the leader, he's alone!
Andy: Maybe they're following him, but he doesn't know it.
Nica: Do you want to go to kill Tiffany or do you want to talk about wolves?
Andy: I wanna go kill Tiffany, but can we talk about wolves on the way?
Jake: I have to stop you! You’re a heartless monster who kills everyone in his way…even children!
Chucky: *groans* Everyone's always getting pissy about the kids. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is dedicate their stupid life to revenge. Honestly, killing them is the nicest thing to do. I could stop being nice, but then who’s the villain?
Jake: …you.
Chucky: Wh- no, it was a rhetorical question.
Jake: And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
Chucky: Good lord, I traded Andy for this.
Inspired by a convo with @series-thoughts and @streets-in-paradise
Devon: So how tall are you?
Andy: 5'5".
Eddie: So how tall are you?
Chucky: *grabs him by the collar* I am 5 feet, 5 inches, and three quarters and I will destroy you.
