Stoep

Found this again, and the way it works for almost all my favs

*Logan gets shot and spits out the bullet*

Wade: "Oh my gawd, that so hot, let me try."

*Wade jumping in front of the bad guys* "Oh do me next, me, me, over here, please shoot me next!"

*Wade gets shot and pulls up his mask*

Wade: "Watch this, peanut."

*Wade snorts up and starts yelling*

Wade: "Fuck! Its in my nose! Shit that burns! Fuck! Fuck!"

*Wade blows the bullet out of one of his nostrils. It drips down slowly to the ground with a thick trail of mucus.*

Logan: "..."

Bad guys: "..."

Logan: "I don't know that guy."

I like to think that Wade tried to sacrifice himself instead of Logan because, at that point, Logan was already part of his family.

Wade wanted to save his world the whole time, and he was going to make sure he was saving his ENTIRE world, and that included a grumpy, old, traumatized mutant from another dimension goddammit!

Ik Logan would not think that but in my mind it works lmao

This fandom is so fucking funny, the amount of amazing jokes I have read and seen on here and ao3 is worth gold. People are so creative it's amazing.

I will never not lose it at 'the wolverpeen.' idk who came up with that one, but i hope you get everything you want in life fr.

At this point, I won't even be surprised if Ryan was behind some of these.

Fun fact! Remember that Wade got told everyone he loves was going die on his birthday. He thought he was getting the best birthday present ever, joining the Avengers, but instead, he realized everything he ever held dear was going to be gone and he would be left alone.

Totally doesn't fuck me up at all🙂

Wade: *slamming back a redbull he hid in his bag*

Altea, smelling the drink: "Oh dear god, I'm sleeping at my niece's for the night."

Logan: "It can't be that much worse than normal right."

Altea, already packing her shit: "Famous last words."

Logan: "Truly, how bad can it be."

Deadpool this entire movie:

Terrorizing my local cinema, lmaoo

Wade: *slaps Logan's ass like he slaps the roof on a car* "This baby runs on 'fossil' fuel, bad for the environment, but damn do I not mind getting hot near him!"

Logan: "..."

Wade: "..."

*Wade busting through the door, missing an arm, suit ripped to shreds with a big smile on his face*

Wade: "Worth it."

The fact that Logan is older than Altea pops up in my head like 5 times each day.

Would Altea call him 'gramps' or 'old man'? Would she tell him to 'get his old ass out of the way' while hitting his knees with her cane? Would she say "old people first" to him when they leave the house.

Would they talk about the older days while Wade is just '???' Or when Wade is doing his Wade things, would they sigh simultaneously while muttering "young people" under their breath?

Would Wade make retirement home jokes until Logan stabs him? Would Wade buy a 'home for the elderly' sign for outside the house.

Would Wade slap Logan's ass like he slaps the roof on a car while saying, "This baby runs on fossil fuel, bad for the environment, but damn do I not mind getting hotter near him!" And then run for his life and later return home with a few less limbs but with a 'worth it' smile on his face?

Would Al sarcastically say "okay dad" when Logan tells her to be careful?

I have so many thoughts on this😩

The first aid instructor: "So, when someone stabs you with a knife, what is the first thing you do?"

Logan: "Kill them."

Wade: "Thank them."

The first aid instructor: "..."

The first aid instructor: "...You leave it in..."

Wade: "You hear that, Peanut. Next time you stab me, stay inside and dig it deeper till you hit the sweet spot." *winks*

The first aid instructor: "I'm not getting paid enough for this."

Logan: "Me neither."

Wade: "Sorry we're late, Logan was fingering me, and it left a wet mess, so I had to change."

Logan: "Stop describing it like that, I was stabbing him and he got blood on his clothes."

Wade: "Tomato, tomahto."

Logan, unsheding his claws: "I will fucking stab you until your body doesn't know which hole to piss out of and hang you with your own intestines."

Wade:

Wade: "God, this new job is so bloodlessly boooooring"

Logan: "Haven't you ever had a nonviolent job before?"

Wade: "Of course I have! I was a yoga instructor at the senior home a few streets from here"

*flashback*

Deadpool is on his hands and knees violently throwing it back in front of old people

Wade: "Some people call this 'the downward dog', but I like to call this the 'OMG SHEROL THE DOG IS THROWING UP ON THE CARPET AGAIN, GET THE OLD TOWELS!'

Wade: "Yeah, let me hear those gagging noises, I'm not stopping until this room permanently smells of old lady sweat. Edith, I swear to god, if you're asking for another bathroom break, I'll start throwing yoga mats. Just use your adult diaper like the rest of us-"

*end flashback*

Wade: "I'm still not sure why they banned me from ever coming back."