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maybe the internet raised us

@stockinettestitch / stockinettestitch.tumblr.com

Debbie, 26, NYC
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samtaims ai vonder if inglis spiiking piipöl aar eiböl tu riölais thät ai äm äksöli vraiting in inglish rait nau bat tsast vith veri finnish spelling

sou if juu spiik inglish bat not finnish kän juu pliis reblog änd liiv ö komment on tis post tänk juu veri mats

Sammteims ei wonda iff inglisch schbieking pipel ahr ebel tu rieleis set ei ehm ecktschuli reiting in inglisch reit nauh batt schast wiss währi tschörmen schbelling

So iff ju schbiek inglisch batt nott tschörmen kenn ju plies riplock end lief eh kommänt on dies pust senk ju wäri matsch

tänk juu for joor tsörman kontribjuusson, ai äpprishieit it veri mats. änd it oolsou helps mii tu gräsp tö essens of tsörman äksent

Samtajms aj vonder if ingliš spíking pípl ár ejbl tu rielajz det aj em ekšuely rajting in ingliš rajt náv bat džast vit veri slovak speling. Sou if jú spík ingliš bat not slovak ken jú plís riblog end lív en koment on tiz poust tenk jú veri mač

Самтаймз ай вондр иф иньглиш спикинь пийпль ар эйбль ту риэлайз дзят ай эм экшуалий райтинь ин иньглиш райт нау бат джаст виць вейрий рашин спеллинь. Со иф ю спик иньглиш бат нот рашин кэн ю плиз риблог энд лив э комент ан дзис пост цянк ю вейрий мач

Samtæms æ wonda if ínglis spíking pípl ar eybel tú ríalæs ðet æ em ektsuali ræting in ínglis ræt ná bat dsast við veri æslendik speling

so if jú spík ínglis bat nott æslendik ken jú plís ríblog end líf a komment on ðis post þenk jú veri mats

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toadpod

somtaims ai uondur ïf ïngureʃ spikïng pipur are ebre tu rïlaiz ðæt ai æm ækʃuri raitïng ïn ïngureʃ rait nao vøt ġøst uïð veri everunis superïng

so ïf ju supik ïngureʃ vøt not everunis kæn ju puris rivuag ænd lif e kament an ðïs post ðank ju veri møċ    

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as a long-time figure skating fan, i’ve been really looking forward to yuri on ice, and i wanted to talk a little bit about the skating in episode 1. i worry that maybe people who aren’t as into skating don’t understand how RIDICULOUS that program viktor did was.

this is not in any way a complaint. the program was completely unrealistic, but not because anyone involved with the show neglected to do their research. it was clear they actually put a ton of research & work in, and then intentionally designed something that was the skating equivalent of your power level being over 9000. viktor (and yuri) went out there and threw down the skating version of a level 100 mewtwo. it was DELIGHTFUL.

so first of all:

four quads is… not technically IMPOSSIBLE, but right at the very edge of what is currently possible in men’s figure skating. a quad (jump with four revolutions) is REALLY DIFFICULT. as recently as 2010, the olympic champion in men’s skating didn’t even have ONE quad in his program; i remember as recently as five years ago scott hamilton saying TWO quads was “superhuman.” the highest score EVER received in men’s skating was yuzuru hanyu at the grand prix final in 2015, where he performed three quads. the second highest score ever received was javier fernandez at worlds last year, where he also performed three quads. skating fans can correct me if i’m wrong but the only skater i can think of who has EVER performed four quads in one program is boyang jin, who is tiny and has made jump rotation his whole life. to have a seasoned 27-year-old skater performing four quads is completely delightful nonsense.

his first jump is a quad lutz. for some context, the rough ranking of skating jumps from easiest to most difficult is something like: toe loop, salchow, loop, flip, lutz, axel. you might notice a lutz is the SECOND MOST DIFFICULT JUMP POSSIBLE, and actually more difficult than the axel for some skaters. accordingly, MOST quads are toe loops or salchows. since a quad axel has literally never been performed, a quad lutz is the SINGLE MOST DIFFICULT jump ever landed in skating competition, EVER. although people have been trying to do quad lutz since the early 2000s, you can probably count the number of skaters who have landed it successfully on one hand. this jump is nearly ALWAYS underrotated or even downgraded to a triple. in my lifetime as a skating fan i can only think of a couple times i’ve seen this jump landed as cleanly as viktor does it here.

if that wasn’t enough, the lutz usually has a very specific set-up where the skater glides backward on one foot for a couple seconds before turning their skate blade onto the outside edge. that’s how the technique for the lutz jump is TAUGHT. it’s extremely impressive for someone to be able to throw a lutz out there without this setup. viktor does it and gets four full rotations.

then he follows it up with:

the first quad flip IN HISTORY was landed for the first time LAST APRIL. APRIL 2016. i also remember people trying this one back in 2010-2011, but it wasn’t successfully landed until THIS YEAR. and it’s viktor’s SIGNATURE MOVE!!! and he does it immediately after landing the other most difficult jump in skating!!!!!! he just pulled out two jumps most skaters can only dream of ever landing maybe once in their entire careers, BACK TO BACK.

again, the HIGHEST SCORE EVER AWARDED IN MEN’S FIGURE SKATING, EVER, was given to a program with one quad salchow and two quad toe loops. jumps SIGNIFICANTLY easier (but still extremely difficult) than viktor’s two opening jumps. and he’s just fucking getting started.

he does a flawless triple axel and then some footwork and spins. then he throws out something maybe a touch less superhuman:

for any real life skater, this would already be one of the greatest performances of their career. but viktor isn’t done yet.

he does a long (gorgeous) footwork sequence, triple lutz, triple flip, and:

i already mentioned how ridiculous four quads is, but this is even better. skaters will typically put their most difficult jumps near the beginning of the program, because they’re easier to land before your legs get tired. recognizing this, the scoring system gives you an extra 10% bonus on the jump’s value if it’s in the second half of the program. viktor pulls out a quad-triple combo, still one of the most difficult jumps in figure skating, as his LAST JUMP. HIS LAST JUMP. a free skate program lasts four and a half minutes. after four and a half minutes of grueling, exhausting activity, viktor soars into a quad-triple so beautiful it could be used to teach the combination to other skaters.

AND YURI KEEPS UP WITH ALL OF THIS. YURI, WHO CAME IN LAST AT THE GPF. YURI CAN DO THIS TOO. this program is significantly more difficult than anything that has ever been competed irl, and this show has TWO SKATERS DOING IT SIMULTANEOUSLY. WHAT A GREAT SHOW???

for any skating nerds out there, here is my breakdown of the jumps in viktor’s program:

4Lz - 13.60 4F - 12.30 3A - 8.50 4S - 10.50 3A+3Lo+2Lo - 15.40 3Lz x - 6.60 3F x - 5.83 4T+3T x - 16.06

to explain what this means. the world record score in men’s figure skating was given to yuzuru hanyu in 2015. for that program, the base value for the jumps alone (so not even taking execution into consideration, just the sheer value yuzuru got for completing the jumps he did) was 79.87 points

the total base value of the jumps viktor (and yuri) performed in this program was 88.79.

this program would have handily crushed the world record. and yuri throws it out there in his home rink when he’s out of shape during the off-season.

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seasquared

this post is my absolute favorite thing to have come out of recent anime fandom

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english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

IM CRYINGNFN

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

english: bowl

spanish: :)

english: oh lordy

spanish: deep plate

english: car

polish: :)

english: i changed my mind

polish:  that which walks by itself

English: dragon

Finnish: :)

English: n o

Finnish: salmon snake

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tkingfisher

This Vote Is Legally Binding

In response to all those articles about talking to women with headphones…

Someone always says it, whenever it comes up: “I guess I’m just not allowed to talk to anyone any more!” Well. Yes. It is my duty to inform you that we took a vote all us women and determined that you are not allowed to talk to anyone ever again. This vote is legally binding. Yes, of course, all women know each other, the way you always suspected. (Incidentally, so do Canadians. I’m just throwing that out there.) We went into the women’s room at the Applebee’s at the corner of 54 and all the others streamed in through the doors into that endless liminal space, a chain of humans stretching backward heavy skulled Neanderthal women laughing with New York socialites, Lucille Ball hand in hand with the Taung child. We sat around in the couches in the women’s room (I know you’ve always been suspicious of those couches) and chatted with each other in the secret female language that you always knew existed. Somebody set up a console– the Empress Wu is ruthless at Mario Kart and Cleopatra never learned to lose and a woman who ruled an empire that fell when the Sea People came and left no trace can use the blue shell like a surgical instrument. Eventually we took the vote. You had three defenders: your grandmother and your first-grade teacher and an Albanian nun who believes the best of everybody. Your mom abstained. It was duly recorded in the secret notebooks that have been kept under the couch in the Applebee’s since the beginning of recorded time. And then we went back to playing Mario Kart and Hoelun took off her bra and we didn’t think about you again except that I had to carry this message. So anyway good luck with that it’s just as you always said it was. Hush now, no talking

hush.

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alonesomes

something about women crying in bathrooms, always in a hurry, always the violent swiping under the eyes, pressing at the puffy red blotches, rushing, getting it out, looking in the mirror and then, like a warrior, going back outside to wherever like nothing ever happened and doing it all again. tell me we’re not brave even when we’re hiding.

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