mouthporn.net
#i need this – @stevebuckybromance on Tumblr
Avatar

This blog is dead, sorry. Now at dorks-in-fiction

@stevebuckybromance / stevebuckybromance.tumblr.com

whoopsie
Avatar
Avatar
lordbelatiel
  • Bucky and Steve having box set evenings, just streaming entire seasons of GOT, marathoning the entirety of Star Wars (4,5,1,2,3,6, because Bucky had looked it up on the internet), getting pissed that Firefly was cancelled when they went looking for the rest of the season. 
  • Bucky ordering 20 pizzas online because the novelty of being able to do so was just too much, ‘holy shit, I’d never have left the house if we could have done this in the 30’s’. 
  • Ugly tears into tubs of ‘Ben and Jerry’s’ over everything ‘programming just wasn’t this emotional back in the day, what are they doing to my feelings?’
  • ‘Holy shit, can they show this on television?’
  • Bucky sets up an xbox live account,’WhothefuckisBucky’, and trolls 12 year olds on Battlefield by making improbable head shots. 
  • ‘Steve, Steve, you’ve got to come over here.’ *crying* ‘Have you heard this guy, holy shit, he must be like 12, holy shit son, we were in the army and I’ve never heard someone swear like this!’ *doubles over laughing*
  • Bucky snapchatting Steve from the top of the White House. 
  • ‘Holy shit, Bucky where are you?’ ‘Well, I went for a walk and decided I needed some exercise’ ‘So you climbed the White House?’ ‘Idk man, i felt I did them a favour, the security is just awful’ ‘Bucky, what the fuck?’ ‘Sorry, Steve, gtg, secret service finally found a way onto the roof, see you later, I’ll buy milk on the way home’
Avatar

HEY! YOU! STOP SCROLLING FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND LEMME TELL Y’ALL ABOUT THE MIRACLE THAT IS KNOWN AS AFRICAN BLACK SOAP.

YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME, I HAD THE WORST ACNE IN THE FUCKIN WORLD. LIKE, IT WAS LITERALLY PAINFUL. I SHIT YOU NOT,I WAS LITERALLY MORE ACNE THAN ACTUAL FACE. I HAD BOUGHT ALL THE FUCKIN 80$+ ACNE KITS, YOU KNOW THE ONES. YOU SEE EM’ ADVERTISED IN INFOMERCIALS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME BY FOLKS WHO HAVE NEVER HAD ACNE A DAY IN THEIR GODDAMN LIFE. WELL, NONE OF THEM WERE HELPING. AT ALL.

I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS DOOMED TO BE PIZZA FACE UNTIL MY 30’S WHEN I WAS INTRODUCED TO THIS MIRACLE PRODUCT BY THIS HIPPIE-ASS FUCKER I KNEW. SHE CLAIMED THAT IF I USED IT IN PLACE OF FACE WASH, IT WOULD CLEAR ME RIGHT UP, NO SHIT. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS MORE THAN A BIT SKEPTICAL. AFTER ALL, WE HAD SPENT LITERALLY HUNDREDS ON MIRACLE ACNE REMEDIES THAT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK, SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD THIS SHIT? IT WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MEDICATED! BUT I FIGURED I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE, SO I WENT FOR IT.

WELL, LEMME TELL Y’ALL. I WAS WRONG. SO FUCKING WRONG. 

WITHIN A WEEK, HALF OF MY ACNE WAS GONE. WITHIN THREE, I HAD THE CLEAREST SKIN I’D HAD SINCE I WAS A YOUNG CHILD.

PEOPLE NOW ASK ME ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHAT MY SECRET TO CLEAR SKIN IS, AND I TELL THEM ALL ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL SHIT. IT WORKS MIRACLES, AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING BURN YOUR EYES IF YOU GET IT WITHIN TWO INCHES OF THEM, UNLIKE TRADITIONAL ACNE CREAMS DO. AND THE BEST PART? IF YOU ARE LIKE ME AND HAVE SENSITIVE-ASS SKIN, AND/OR IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO A LOT OF THE SHIT OUT THERE, THIS STUFF IS ALL NATURAL, AND SUPER GENTLE. SERIOUSLY. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU COULD RUB THIS SHIT IN YOUR EYES IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO, BUT I HAVEN’T FELT INCLINED TO DO THAT.

WHAT’S THAT? YOU HAVE DANDRUFF AND NONE OF THOSE FANCY-ASS SPECIAL SHAMPOOS HAVE HELPED? WELL, YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER, YOU’RE IN LUCK, BECAUSE THIS SHIT CLEARS THAT UP TOO! 

GOT PSORIASIS? ECZEMA? NO PROBLEM!  NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE ANY MATCH FOR THIS SHIT!

WHAT’S THAT? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU CAN BUY THIS MIRACLE SUBSTANCE? WELL, POP ON OVER HERE AND GO FORTH AND GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS WONDERFUL SHIT, YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER!

Okay, this actually works friends. Seriously, I’ve used it before and whoa.

My face! OoO!!!

I haven’t bought any recently, but I can say 100% that it works. 

Avatar
tundramoth

You had me at Hippie-ass fucker.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net