When Sleep Takes Over
(Billie Dean Howard x Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Reader)
A/N: Hey guys! I’m really excited for this one. @stayevildarling and me co-wrote this one.
Basically just reader having a ton of anxiety and feeling really tired lately. Fluff fluff fluff.
tw/tags: insomnia, anxiety, depression
taglist: @lunaticwhittaker @billiebeanhoward @lanawinters-ily @kenzbro @minaslittleone @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 @ninaahelvar @vintagepaulson @isle-of-earle @grilledcheeseandguavajelly @lucyintheskywithxanax @fanfics4world @mymiraclewitch @hazard-to-myself @awritersometimes @wastdstime @p1pecleanerwitheyes @queen2234 @ihartnat @lifebyinez @ahsatanizgay @blu3dimples @stepintomyworld
The air inside the usually warm and comfortable academy had been chilly lately, possibly due to the change of seasons. The coven had undeniably been your safe place for years, the home that you never truly had, the people inside growing to be your family. You had been beside them for years, just a witch needing a home and guidance at first until you became the supreme‘s most promising witch, growing closer to her and her partners who would a while later turn into your home and your everything. The four of you had been official for the longest time now, living together and getting through life‘s ups and downs together.
They had fallen for you each in their own ways just like you had for them. Cordelia was so protective and careful over you, always making sure you are comfortable and well looked after. And in return you would protect her heart, lift the weight of being supreme and her mothers daughter off her shoulders and shush the pain. And so slowly, you became her sweetheart, the person she could rely on and the person who would help her out, teach classes for her and look after the witches and in return she protected your soul.
Billie adored having someone to spoil, Wilhemina and Cordelia too sophisticated already but appreciating the medium’s gestures and gifts always. But there were still things you wanted to do and see and buy for yourself and Billie made sure to read every single wish from your lips and spoil you rotten. In return, you would help her when filming was getting too much. helping out with practical things like working endlessly on promoting her show via social media. The medium didn‘t let anyone remotely soothe her back to sleep like you after she suffered from her nightmares and so you quickly sneaked your way into her heart, quickly becoming her babydoll.
Wilhemina was more careful with her heart and she was conflicted on letting someone else in, a fourth person seeming too much at first. But when she met you and saw your true kindness, seeing how you enjoy the same things as her, quiet moments spent in the comfortable silence of each other, she knew you complete them. She adores how caring you are with Billie and Delia, how you would run her baths and make her a lunchbox every morning for work and dinner always ready when she was home, even though she told you so many times that you didn‘t need to do that. You captivated her and she adored you for your bravery and strength, very quickly opening her heart and usually stubborn and high walls and making you her very own little one.
By now they knew pretty much everything about you, all the little details, bits of your past and your very rare cycles of struggling at times. But you had always been careful, rather hiding away in the shadows than seeing their concerned faces. And lately you had been caught in the waves again, the bright happy days and then the terror and sadness all in one. Your anxiety had spiked recently, thoughts of doom and overthinking taking over every waking moment, draining you and with it came the sad days. Clouds of thoughts overwhelming your brain and causing the sadness to return, the silence. You couldn‘t confide in them, not when they dealt with worse things. Delia constantly carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, Mina with her condition and Billie with the spirits and their grieving loved ones. It felt pathetic to you, the random surges of panics or sadness and not much in between.
Lately, everything had been making you so tired that you decided to give in to the exhaustion rather than fight it, often hiding away in the safety and silence of sleep rather than face reality and your problems. You knew you needed to talk and work through your feelings, possibly get professional help again or simply ask one of them for a hug but it felt impossible. It started with the occasional afternoon nap, none of your girlfriends thinking much of it, wanting you to get enough rest. Then it started with sleeping in on weekdays, still getting up for classes and early in the morning to make your girlfriends breakfast and their lunchboxes, wanting to solder on and keep your appearance perfect, not wanting to show them weakness or how you were truly struggling. But then it turned into something bigger, something that you couldn‘t stop or control.
It had started with the occasional afternoon nap in your office, Cordelia sometimes finding you with your head on the table, sleeping over the scattered documents. Billie would often find you in the living room, the most uncomfortable position possible. And at first they let you sleep in, on the weekends also but then they grew increasingly worried, never knowing you to be so exhausted and tired. And they could see it, your posture, slumped shoulders and a sadness in your eyes that spoke lengths. They had tried to talk to you, wanting so bad to see you happy again, replace the sadness with your usual happiness and cheerful personality but it seems to have vanished. Mina had noticed how fidgety you are lately, often placing a reassuring and steady hand on your knee or shoulder.
But you couldn‘t escape the darkness that was slowly consuming you, the lingering thoughts that drained you, the attacks of panic that exhausted every fibre of your being. You tried so hard to still be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect teacher but it felt impossible with the weight of sadness dragging you down. And so you opted to forget about it all for a while during sleep, mostly not even any dreams present and so it was peaceful and quiet. But the voices in your head caught onto it, telling you to end it, telling you to put yourself to sleep for good. But for now the love for your girlfriends was stronger, knowing you couldn‘t leave them like that, knowing you couldn‘t ever do that to them, the mere thought consuming you with a guilt that gnawed at your insides.
Things began deteriorating further when a small hisap happened on your part, one that would confirm your girlfriend's concern and worst nightmares. You had been exhausted from the moment you got out of bed, forcing yourself through some work before giving up and heading for a bath. Your soul and bones had been so tired that you had hoped the warm bath would soothe them and make the pain go away. And indeed the warm water and smell of lavender soap and bath bubbles put you almost in a dream like state, your body floating, your mind at ease for the first time in ages, the candles reminding you of Delia, the lavender reminding you of Mina and the fancy soaps reminding you of Billie. You only closed your eyes for a small second, not even intending to doze off but when you did the water kept rising and rising, slowly reaching your chin and eventually eloping you completely.
Cordelia had been in the kitchen, fixing up some dinner and waiting for her lovers to return from work, having checked on you working in your office not that long ago. When they returned, Billie headed upstairs, the supreme having asked her to fetch you from your office but she couldn‘t find you. And so she tried the bathroom, hearing the water running before her breath hitched, seeing the bathtub almost overflowing and your form underneath the water and bubbles „Oh god“ she shrieks, before turning the water off and draining some of the water out, pulling you out of the water and not caring about her new silk blouse getting wet. „Babydoll“ she tries softly and she sighs upon seeing you wake from a nap, the image having scared her at first. „Billie?“ you ask confused and sleepy, it taking a moment for the dots to connect on what had happened. „You fell asleep.. in the bath“ she states before passing you some warm towels, your body shivering slightly.
And that had been their last straw, a confirmation that something wasn‘t right but still they couldn‘t get a single thing out of you as you simply returned to bed, not feeling like dinner and finding you asleep when they joined you.
As Wilhemina woke up the next morning, she was greeted with the empty space next to her. She furrows her eyebrows since that now so cold place was usually occupied by your sleeping form. Immediately she knew something was off since it was your free weekend and it was almost impossible to get you and Billie Dean out of your shared bed and each other safe embraces before ten.
A quick glance to the clock on her bedside table confirmed her suspicions since it’s just six and there was simply no way you would get up at that time.
Slowly she got up, deciding to look for you before climbing over Delias and Billies still sleeping bodies, making sure not to hurt her back in the process.
First she went into the kitchen quietly, hoping you just had a nightmare and were in need of a glass of water, but her intuition and connection with you told her this was more severe. Wilhemina walked into the kitchen and was greeted with already expected emptiness. Maybe you were in the greenhouse?
She went to the back door connecting to the garden but saw your shoes still at the side of the door, giving her a hint that you weren’t outside either.
Disregarding the faint creaking of the old wooden floor beneath her feet, Wilhemina swallowed the knot of worry in her throat. “Little one?” she called softly, the sound barely rising above a whisper. There was no response, only the echoing silence of the academy, almost mocking her attempt to reach you before it hit her.
Her thoughts raced through the dark forest of her mind, wondering if you had spent yet another night battling the specters of anxiety that had become your unwelcome companions. You thought Wilhemina hadn’t realized, but how could she not have realized your usual warm smile not reaching your eyes? It had been an uphill struggle for you, and while Wilhemina felt it keenly, she sometimes felt helpless to mend the fractures in her girlfriend’s world.
Determined, she decided to check the library—yours and hers little sanctuary in the cozy corner of your home, where candles flickered with the whispers of enchantments and filled with books that lined the walls like sentinels of forgotten wisdom. She had grown accustomed to the sound of your laughter there, music to her stern disposition.
Stepping into the room, Wilhemina felt a cool shiver wash over her, sharp and invigorating.
“Where are you?” she murmured, a faint tremor threading through her tone as she couldn’t see you at first, but as she padded through the different isles, her eyes drifted to the fire place—a place that had been witness to many stolen kisses and whispered love confessions between you and the red head. It was there that Wilhemina found you, resting in the big armchair, eyes closed and limbs sprawled as if surrendering to the embrace of the cushions beneath you.
“Little one?” Wilhemina kneeled beside you, brushing a strand of hair from her girlfriend's face. “Little one, love, wake up.”
You stirred slowly, your lashes fluttering like the wings of a weary butterfly. You opened your heavy eyes, revealing pools of once sparkling depth that now looked dulled and distant. “Mina,” you sighed, your voice a fragile wisp drifted by the wind. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
Wilhemina's heart swelled with tenderness. “You’ve been sleeping a lot lately. Is it... is it the heaviness again?” She asked, having talked with you about the hurt caused by your past before and remembering you describing it as a heavy feeling in your heart.
Your gaze faltered, lips pulling into a reluctant smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “It’s more like sleeplessness,” you replied, your voice cracking slightly. “I feel like I’m losing touch with everything.”
The pain in your words struck Wilhemina fiercely. Where you once illuminated the dull corners of existence, you now felt like a fading flame, flickering against the relentless wind.
“Listen,” Wilhemina said, urgency threading through her voice. “You are not losing us. You’re not losing this.” She waved her arm around, encompassing the tranquil library where magic soaked the air. “We will work through this together, just like we always do, I promise.”
Your gaze lifted, meeting Wilhemina's fierce, intense stare—for all of Wilhemina’s stern exterior, that warmth was intended purely for you. “What if I can’t?” you whispered, fear rimming your eyes.
Wilhemina reached for your hand, the familiar warmth of her skin connecting the distance that had begun to grow between you two. “Then we will be your strength until you find yours again. You are never alone in this.”
The silence hung comfortably between your lover and you as your breath stabilized, and slowly, your smile blossomed into something deeper, a fragile but hopeful thing. “I don’t know what I’d do without you three.”
Wilhemina pressed her forehead against yours, a moment’s solace in your shared struggle. “You’ll never have to find out,” she vowed, a softness breaking through her usual firmness.
As you sat their in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company you heard the big wooden door of the library open, revealing your other two girlfriends before they led you back to bed and shushed you into a deep slumber.
As you sat in your cramped office the next day, the sun filtering through the small window, you glanced at the stack of papers awaiting your attention. The usual excitement of grading papers, of connecting with your students through their words, had lost its luster. Today, the vibrant colors of the mug on your desk—bright yellow with a quirky cat design gifted to you by the blonde medium—seemed dull and lifeless.
Something was misfiring in your mind. Your heart raced, and your palms were clammy, an unwelcome combination you hadn’t felt in a long time anymore. You looked down at the first essay, the letters blurring together in a chaotic swirl that echoed the tumult in your chest. It felt as if the walls were closing in.
You had always been the spirited, upbeat girlfriend—the one who reassured everyone that everything was going to be okay. Why, then, were you pacing the floor of your mind, canvassing the futures of your relationship like some dire doomsayer? Cordelia, with her infectious laughter; Wilhemina, the unwavering rock; Billie, the free spirit who lived for adventure—would they start to see you differently? Dark shadows crept into your thoughts, whispering wildly; You could almost hear them laughing, “They’re going to leave you. Just wait.”
The sunlight shifted, illuminating the crumpled paper filled with your tiny scratch notes. You placed the pen down, rubbing your temples in a desperate attempt to ease the tension forming in your head.
What was happening to you? A sense of looming dread surged every time you thought of your girlfriends. What if they woke up one day and realized you were a burden? All of them much older and quite frankly living their life. You always believed relationships were as vibrant as the moments you created together. But now, all you could think of were the gaping holes of your insecurities, every laugh that fluttered out of their mouths rendering you smaller.
“Hey, you still there?” The sound of an all too familiar voice coming from your phone snapped you from your spiral.
“Wanna grab brunch at that cute café? The one with the pancakes?” Her sing-song voice brought with it a wave of warmth, though you could feel the churning in your gut.
“Sure!” you replied, forcing a cheerfulness you felt miles away from.
“Perfect! Should I ask Cordelia and Mina too? It’ll be just delightful!”
“Yeah, delightful.” You swallowed hard and avoided your reflection in the nearby window.
After the call ended, you shut your eyes for a moment, embracing the familiar bubble of anxiety rising in your throat. Memories of spontaneous adventures echoed in your mind—the laughter and warmth they provided. But now, those memories felt tainted. The shadows whispered again; You pictured their faces bending with disappointment, leaving you behind like discarded homework.
You returned to the essays, but your mind was elsewhere. You didn’t want to feel this way. You didn’t want to be “that”—the one burdened by doubt while the others thrived. Yet, the paper in front of you became more of a comfort than you imagined; You hugged it close when the anxiety surged again. You couldn’t help it. You took a deep breath focused on the paper, tracing your fingers over the ink.
Somewhere between the words, you lost yourself in thought. Thoughts of them, of feel-good moments spent with Wilhemina teasing you about your terrible baking, Cordelia’s wisdom during crucial moments, or Billie showing you that life was a grand adventure, if only you dared to leap. They were your anchors; You needed to remember that.
But as the day progressed, you found yourself dreading brunch—not for the company but for the revelation that had constructed itself within you. You yearned to talk to them, to share your fears, but what if they turned away, transformed into solid flames that would burn your insecurities even brighter?
The clock ticked louder, each second burning.
Finally, the sun swallowed the horizon, tinting the sky a passionate orange. Time passed too quickly, and before you knew it, you were with your girlfriends, each of them radiating warmth—You caught the sparkle in their eyes as they greeted you.
“Hey! You alright?” Cordelia asked before you could even sit.
“Fine! Just fine. Excited to eat!” The words came out bright more by instinct than sincerity.
Your three girlfriend’s shot each other a look, having a silent conversation about who will approach this before Cordelia finally cleared her throat and started to speak. “Darling? Billie and I talked with Wilhemina earlier and she told us a bit about your struggles.” You looked up from your plate shooting the red head an unusual max glance. “Oh come on little one! Do you think after all these years they didn’t figure out something is wrong by themselves?” Your expression softened after thinking about it a short while. Of course they did and if one of them would feel the way you currently do you would want to talk about it as well.
Your eyes met Cordelia’s as she started speaking again. “We don’t have to talk about it right now we can just enjoy but we should. Especially when you’re overwhelmed with your feelings.”
With a deep breath, you opened up to your girlfriends about your worries. Work stress, a troubling feeling about the age gap in your relationship and the anxiety that had taken root in your daily life. Billie listened intently, her huge heart evident as she leaned forward to show her support. Wilhemina wrapped an arm around you and whispered sweet nothings and Cordelia, ever the optimist, teased, “And if all else fails, we can drown our sorrows in pancakes! Lots and lots of pancakes!”
The laughter that followed was like a balm to your frayed nerves. You couldn’t help but smile as Billie and Wilhemina recounted their own stories. Billie’s fear of not finding professional and fitting staff members, Wilhemina’s struggles with choosing a career path in her youth, Cordelia’s unbearable mother. Together, your dark moments felt lighter, almost whimsical in the shared camaraderie.
Time seemed to drift as you laughed, ate, and consoled. With every pancake bite, your heart lightened. Savoring the sweet flavors and the sweet memories, you realized you didn’t have to face your fears alone. Cordelia, Billie, and Wilhemina were not just girlfriends; they were your safe haven.
As the café filled with cheerful chatter and clinking cups, the worries that once loomed felt smaller, almost laughable in comparison. You looked around at three souls who understood you so deeply.
Fluffy pancakes and warm company melted your anxiety away, on that perfect brunch day. You leaned back, the corners of her mouth turning up as a new certainty settled in your heart.
With your lovers by your side, you knew that no matter what, everything would work out just fine.
