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#i sure do – @starvinbohemian on Tumblr
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The Wanting Comes in Waves...

@starvinbohemian / starvinbohemian.tumblr.com

The inundations of a mad procrastinator.
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what if i trapped you in a flooded cellar for three days after finding you breaking into the house where my ex’s ex who i’m psychosexually obsessed with is hibernating and then i stalked you across the globe in a four year game of cat and mouse and then when you finally gave in to me i kept you dependent and delirious by my side and explored the 20th century with you as my guide and bought you everything you could ever want bc i couldn’t bear to let you go and all the while you begged me desperately to let you be with me forever but i refused because i also couldn’t bear for you to change your mind as you eventually would with eternity stretched out before you but then the state of madness and addiction i had driven you into threatened to kill you so at last i gave in and made you like me and STILL. still. i didn’t believe you loved me. and we were both boys

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nonasuch

all right. so. this is a Harry Potter AU, in rambly and abbreviated form.

  • this is a version of events where, on the morning of November 1st, 1981, the police are called to a house in Surrey.
  • when they arrive, a large man with a red face and a moustache is waiting for them, brandishing a baby.
  • to be more accurate: he is brandishing a basket. the basket contains a baby.
  • he tells the police that his wife found the basket on their doorstep that morning. “Gave her the shock of her life,” he says, with a chuckle that does not seem the least bit sincere.
  • the police officers have a lot of questions about this, but the man does not have any useful answers. his wife, he tells them, is not in any shape to be interviewed. “she’s been poorly,” he says, “and we’ve got a baby of our own to worry about, keeping us up at all hours.”
  • the baby in the basket seems to be about a year old. he is cheerful, seems healthy aside from a cut on his forehead, with a crooked sticking plaster on it. he has startlingly green eyes.
  • there is no identifying information in the basket, except for a torn scrap of paper with ‘his name is Harry’ on it in a delicate hand.
  • there is nothing else to be done, it seems. the officers take baby Harry, and leave.
  • one of them comes back a few days later for a follow-up interview with the woman who found the baby. she seems a little fragile, and her own baby, in the next room, keeps up a constant shrieking tantrum the whole time the officer is there. “I’m sorry,” the woman says, with a brittle smile. “this has all been a bit much. I recently lost my sister, you see.”
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it aint real fanfiction unless their tongues battled for dominance
it ain’t real fanfiction unless they released a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

it ain’t real fan fiction unless they stutter profusely

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plushstiel

it ain’t real fan fic unless teeth are clacking and cocks are weeping. Also this- 

lol guilty as fuck.

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