“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life,” Steve said, sounding almost outright offended, “And that comes from a man who jumps out of planes without a parachute. Hey, there’s our first problem. If you jumped out of a plane without a parachute, guess what? You’d die. The answer’s no, Ransom. I’m sorry.”
Strangely enough, even though Steve’s answer had been so clear and straight forward, Ransom did not seem even the least put off by it. He leaned over the table, closer towards Steve, comfortable in his knitted sweater and looking like he had won the argument.
“Come on, Rogers,” he said, lips curling up into the ghost of a smile, “Live a little. I promise you, this will benefit the both of us.”
“How?” Steve asked, eyebrows lowered in his skepticism. He did not think Ransom could help him with anything, to be honest. The man was rude, backhanded, and very clever in a wrong kind of way. Not really the type of crowd Steve liked to hang out with. One more step and the guy was basically a bully. “How could this possibly benefit me?”
“First of all, you’ll have a nice way of getting back at your teammates for the pranks of last week.” Ransom chuckled at Steve’s face. “Yeah, I saw the news. Pink’s a good look on you, by the way.”
The man spread his hands on the table, taking a deep breath and releasing it into a sigh. “Look, you’re one of the most disgustingly polite people on the planet. You’re righteous, kind, smart, and a little reckless. You’re a perfect guy. Just the kind of guy my family wishes I was.”
“And?”
“And, if you take my place at the party at my grandpa’s house, act your usual perfect self, it’ll establish my spot on the will.” Ransom made a bit of a frustrated sound. “I’m already this close to inheriting it.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Steve asked.
That seemed to put a bit of a damper on the other man. Though the question had been expected, Ransom could not help but hunch defensively. It was a secret he had been stressed over for months. He breathed in deeply. “My grandfather is... well, he wouldn’t approve of my dating life.”
Steve raised an eyebrow, “Playboy?”
“Homosexual,” Ransom answered. “My old man wouldn’t approve of it. He’d rather have someone who can bring him more offspring, you know? A few more weeks and he’ll be gone, though, I just have to make sure that I don’t out myself, and that he likes me enough until then.”
It felt uncomfortably familiar. Steve thought of Bucky, and of the priests of the church who condemned people like them to hell. How he had wished they could be free back then. No one to judge them. God, what was he getting himself into?
“We’ll have to do a lot of planning,” Steve said, tempted to roll his eyes at the way Ransom seemed to light up and celebrate in his head. “I’m not promising anything. By the way, if Natasha or anyone on the team hurts you, that’s not on me, understood?”
Ransom nodded.
With a deep sigh, Steve rested his head in the palms of his hands. This would never work. Nothing ever went like he wanted it too, so he guessed this would not either. What would Bucky think? What would Natasha think? This plan was messed up, but a part of Steve could not deny that it gave him a rush of excitement.
After all, you don’t trade places with your lookalike every day.