welcome to my blog im annoying

its miserable having online friends i would help you clean and paint your room and fold your laundry and move furniture and cook mostly edible food for you and generally do tasks for you and drink with you and smoke with you and go on walks with you and see you smile when i make you laugh. but the distance

i, personally, love to straddle that fine line between “fandom blog” and “record of complete psychological breakdown”

who up feeling the kind of bone deep annoyance and dissatisfaction that makes you want to skin yourself

Going back to sleep is so powerful im a huge fan of going back to sleep

loving a character so much will unlock such vulnerable and cringe parts of you that you try to suppress so bad but you can't like it's so humbling

ok last thing. but what people fundamentally need to get through their heads is the significance of gaza fundraisers not being the same as like mutual aid when you're helping someone get groceries, because it is a genocide. there is insane deliberate scarcity and prices are unmanageable, because there is nowhere nearly enough for everyone, so only people who can pay can eat. and what positioning individual fundraisers as the only course of action does is quite simply give a tiny percentage of random people whose fundraisers take off the ability to pay those prices while thousands of others can't. and every one of those thousands of people without a fundraiser is suffering through the same inconceivably horrific reality. it is giving a few completely desperate people out of hundreds of thousands a slightly more favorable position in a horrific war economy of imposed scarcity. and what grassroots community kitchens do is try to mitigate in some small way that inconceivable hierarchy of who can pay and who can't, by stretching ingredients as far as they can last to cook meals at large scale and give them out at no cost. and obviously people are still going to send money to their friends and families because this is hell what else are we supposed to do but please just think about that before promoting endless individual fundraisers as somehow the most ethical way to help

Operation Olive Branch has a spreadsheet dedicated to mutual aid, local distro, community kitchens, etc. in Gaza.

This is a good place to start if seeking to donate to a community resilience action. Just contact the group(s) directly to make sure they are still active. Life in Gaza and Palestine is full of uncertainty.

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

days gone without thinking of Holland Vosijk: 0

i love you visible brushstrokes. i love you glue warped scrapbook pages. i love you awkward poems. i love you junk journal with faded receipts. i love you poorly composed journal layout. I love you unintentionally blurry photographs. i love you asymmetrical beading. i love you curling freeform crochet. i love you fingerprints on pottery. i love you reused materials. i love you improvised instruments. i love you mistakes. i love you bravery to make it anyway. i love you creativity that hasn't been wiped clean of every drop of humanity and sanitized and commodified.

i can't fucking take this any more, i'm gonna [remembers that suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] [gets out my top hat and cane] give 'em the ole razzle dazzle

I love sitting down in the evening and trying to decide what activity I should do to unwind and then realizing an hour later that I have neither done an activity nor unwound

vetted palestinian fundraisers from my inbox

posting as a roundup rather than spamming a bunch of posts because i've been inactive the last few days and it would be a lot. please donate/reblog if you can!

unfortunately there are a few campaigns i had to skip as i couldn't verify that they were vetted.