“people with mental illnesses are never abusive”

“people with mental illnesses are always abusive”

“people with mental illnesses are not inherently abusive, but can be abusive just like everyone else”

(x-posted from GoFundMe)

Hey everyone!

We come from a family that immigrated up to America from the Caribbean island of Antigua. Our family is strong-willed and formidable, which is in part thanks to our grandmother, Jestina Stevens (or as she’s affectionately known: “Grandma Din”, “Dindy”, “Din Din”). Over the years, Grandma Din has had a hand in raising not only her children, but her children’s children whenever her help was needed, whether it be in Antigua or America. We have a lot to thank her for and we love her very much.

Unfortunately, in the recent years, Grandma Din’s health has been deteriorating. Last summer, she had to be sent to the hospital due to severe dehydration and malnutrition. She’s also been suffering from the effects of dementia and possible undiagnosed Alzheimer’s. She has not been receiving proper medical care because the resources in Antigua are very limited and they don’t have geriatric care available. Fortunately, we were able to get my older sister Denise Nicholas to go down to Antigua and heal her to a viable and stable condition.

On January 10th, Grandma Din had a hemorrhagic stroke, a weakened blood vessel that ruptured in her brain. Currently, she’s been staying in the hospital where her condition’s been stable. She’s on a feeding tube and an IV drip, and the doctors are monitoring her while keeping us updated over the phone.

What Grandma Din needs most right now is her family. All of her children and the vast majority of her grandchildren are up here in America. She doesn’t have the physical strength to come up here, so we have to meet her down there. We’re going to send Denise down there to take care of her again, but we’re having trouble putting together the financial means to do so.

We are asking for money to cover expenses for Denise’s travel to Antigua and Grandma Din’s medical bills. We’re also asking for a buffer to cover bills that need to be paid while Denise is away, as we don’t know how long she’ll have to stay in Antigua (and that’s one less person making money in our house). If you’re in a position where you can contribute, we ask that you please put in as much as you can. EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS. If you can’t contribute financially, you can contribute in spirit by sharing our story to others so that those who are able to donate can do so. It’s imperative that we get the finances as soon as possible so that Denise can get to Antigua as soon as she can, and Grandma Din won’t have to face all this alone.

We have faith that Grandma Din can pull through, but we need your help to do it. Thank you all so much in advance.

The link to donate is here https://www.gofundme.com/xr-please-help-my-grandma

My grandmother is all alone in the hospital in Antigua, and none of her children or grandchildren are there to be with her. We can’t let her suffer there by herself.

Let Jewish people have “goyim.” Let gays and lesbians have the “heteros/straights.” Let black people complain about “crackers.” Let Latinos have the “gringos.” Let PoC have white people jokes. Let women complain about men.

Let marginalized people express distance from their oppressors. Let the marginalized turn their oppressors into the Other. Let marginalized people exist in a way that inconveniences and irritates their oppressors, because the oppressors have been doing worse for years.

Hi guys, i know i have no right to ask this but i really need some help right now. My best friend, soulmate, and all around light of my life passed away after battling stage IV renal cancer since February. Her family has created a paypal account ([email protected]) to help raise money for the funeral + cemetery where they plan to lay her down to rest in peace. I’d really appreciate it and will be forever grateful if you can help by donating or spreading the word. Marleny has been saving my life for the past 11 years, i owe her so much.

this user is anti-terfs

What does it say about our values when we slander someone for speaking freely against discrimination? In the midst of all that, the #VeteransForKaepernick hashtag is a thankful breath of sanity.

autism is widely underdiagnosed in girls because autistic women tend to present as quiet and reserved, which is just how women are supposed to be.

personality disorders are underdiagnosed in men because they tend to present more explosively and involve more narcissistic behaviours, which is just how men are supposed to be.

sexism isn’t good for anyone. don’t be fooled.

 Just because you aren’t a tall skinny androgynous person doesn’t make you any less non binary! Non binary people don’t have to look a certain way to be non binary, non binary people who stereotypically dress like the gender they were assigned at birth are valid! Non binary people who have big chests and wide hips are still valid! Non binary people who have a deep voice and huge muscles are still valid!

 There are no requirements for being non binary! every non binary person is valid no matter what they look like!

Hey guys so money is really tight at the moment, and I’m kind of in a crisis if you haven’t already seen my gofundme or wishlist posts floating around. So I decided to start taking commissions in hopes I can boost my funds a little. It’d really help me out if you could commission me as I’m in desperate need and even though I keep applying for jobs, I haven’t heard anything back yet. 

What I’ll Do:

What I Won’t Do:

If you are unsure about any of these rules, please feel free to message me!

Prices: 

*Rates are non-negotiable. I will not be writing over 6,000 words unless I do so unconsciously, in which case you will not be charged any more than £8.

Payment method: 

I will not insist on payment until the story is completed to the buyer’s satisfaction.

What You’ll Need To Do:

How You’ll Receive The Story:

Useful links: 

My AO3: [X]

Feel free to message me if you have any questions!!

The Psychology of Talia

For throwntotheair, who has a few questions about Talia. :) I’m grouping this under a few broad questions that should bleed into answering some of the others you mentioned.

The preface of this, of course, is that all of my answers are based in the character of Talia al Ghul prior to Grant Morrison writing her. So the 30+ years of content and development we had beforehand. Grant largely ignored the fundamental pieces of her character that were recurring themes over the years, turned her into an infanticidal rapist and, generally speaking, made her as 2-dimensional as possible. His interpretation also gave Talia wildly inconsistent motives, so he is not a good measure for delving into her character.

What are her motives?

Talia has always been motivated by one thing: love. Love for her father, love for Bruce, love for Damian. Even love for the planet (though less so than Ra’s). Each step of her journey has love somewhere in the why. The primary conflict for her, especially early on, was the tug-of-war between acting for good (because of her love for Bruce) or acting for evil (because of her love for her father). 

The animated series still gives one of the best summaries of Talia’s goals, too: she says that she believes in her father’s vision for the world, but not in his means (namely mass genocide). 

Even in dealing with Damian (Morrison, again, notwithstanding), I think she meant everything for love (I’ll explain more in the ‘why did she raise him this way’ section).

When she throws Jason into the Lazarus Pit in Lost Days, her letter to him says that she has done this “for love.”

Despite her badassery, Talia is actually a very loving, empathic person (though sometimes she denies it). Either way, love is at the core of what she does. For her father, that love spills over into loyalty…most of the time.

Why the loyalty to Ra’s (Why has she never stood against him?)

Wellllll this is two parts. The first question: love and indoctrination. The second question: she has.

First we have to understand that Talia is pretty much a psychological trainwreck. In Batman Chronicles #8, we see one of the only stories that’s specifically from Talia’s point-of-view. This and Lost Days are as close as we really get to such direct access to her thoughts.

Yeah. She’s messed up. We should note that Ra’s, despite his being just about Worst Dad Ever, does genuinely love Talia, in his own way.

Realize that Talia has been raised exclusively in Ra’s in environment (like Damian) and that the way she raised Damian was A LOT like she was raised. She’s in a place where he father is viewed as a deity, it’s this massive, powerful cult, and so there’s a level of indoctrination going on.

But that said…Even from the beginning, Talia was defying her father.

She thinks for herself and, growing through the years, she becomes increasingly agitated, worn down and plain ol’ fed up with her father. I would argue that in most cases, she betrays him for Bruce (or Jason, or Damian) because she knows he’s wrong.

(Prior this panel, Batman asks why Talia is betraying Ra’s, and if it’s because she loves him:)

Doesn’t she seem to be lacking independence?

Here’s where I think there was a massive missed opportunity. Talia, after being shot for betraying her father in Tower of Babel, nopes out and goes off on her own. She’s fed up with both Bruce AND Ra’s.

Ra’s shows up and has Talia kidnapped to bring her back. She winds up rescuing Bruce one more time before leaving BOTH of them and heading off to Hong Kong, where she becomes a successful businesswoman in her own right.

At the time, Lex Luthor is about to run for president. He shows up at her door:

Talia becomes CEO of LexCorp. I wish so much that more happened in this era for her. She butts heads with Superman a few times (and even teamed up once and it was awesome), but it was so under-utilized. In the end, though, she runs the long con on Luthor, willfully bankrupts LexCorp and sells off the assets to Wayne Enterprises. Mostly just to spite him.

She hates Lexcorp mostly because she’s an environmentalist. And because Luthor.

So she’s this awesome independent businesswoman who manages to trick one of the smartest men in the DCU.

Unfortunately, her half-sister shows up during this era in Death and the Maidens. She kidnaps and tortures Talia by murdering her over and over and bringing her back with her Lazarus Pit. This goes on until Talia’s psyche shatters.

Nyssa brainwashes Talia, first with intent to kill Ra’s. Ra’s eventually kills Talia.

When Nyssa kills Ra’s, she and Talia both continue with Ra’s mission (with Nyssa as the Demon’s Head until her death). Then Talia, still brainwashed, becomes the Demon’s Head and leads into the modern area (as with Villains United which ran pretty close up to the New 52).

Why did she raise Damian in that environment?

To put it short: because it was how she was raised and because she knows it’s the only way for him to survive. When Talia was 18 (her first appearance) she was kidnapped by an enemy of her father. Her entire life has been violence, danger and bloodshed. Her father is a powerful, dangerous man in a dangerous world.

If Damian had not been trained, in her mind, he would not have survived. I think she believes it was the best way for him to be able to protect himself. Some indoctrination bleeds through (as her raising him would be post-brainwashing, though the timeline is a bit wonky). 

I hope that helps! I’ve got a lot more essays in on my blog, plus one that’s a comprehensive account of Talia’s history.

not-so-friendly reminder to unfollow me if:

allistic people reblogging this makes me happy

so uh new rules

unless you’ve been adopted you don’t get to decide whether or not adopted families are considered families or not (:

I should add that while there are dvds, comics, art, posters, etc. on this list these are NOT a priority. Clothes and shoes and books/stationary are. The whole point of the wishlist was for people who wanted to help me financially but wanted to know what the money was going on. The wishlist is also for my own personal reference, for when I hopefully have some income coming in, so I can buy something nice for myself should I ever have the money. I am not expecting you to fork £10 for an art canvas when I’ve said time and time again I’m going to have barely any money to live off of. My maintenance loan doesn’t even cover my rent for god’s sake, I’m £400 short. Sorry if I’m getting upset, but I really am in a desperate situation. 

Daniel Radcliffe discussing how he has racist friends but won’t end a friendship over their racist beliefs is exactly why we have a hard time trusting white “allies” and why we’re sick and tired of hearing white “allies” talk about how THEY aren’t racist.

Radcliffe’s exact quote is: “And I’m still friends with them because I don’t think that friendship should be drawn along those lines.”

And like… This is exactly what we mean when we talk about how being an ally means you have to actively help dismantle racism, especially within your communities and with other white people. If you’ve ever said “But I’M not racist so what do you want me to do??????” then this shit right here is what the fuck you’re supposed to do.

Pretending like your white friends holding racist beliefs is just some minor thing you disagree with like what toppings go best on pizza or if Coke is better than Pepsi is, to be quite honest, fucking disgusting.

And if you think that severing a friendship over racism is going too far then you perhaps need to re-evaluate how much of an ally you actually are.

It’s a huge goddamn privilege for racism to just be a minor inconvenience to a friendship and I can guarantee that your friends of color are wondering how you can be an ally when you sit there and allow your other friends to actively dehumanize them

panic/anxiety attack

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

Never not reblog

This is 100% accurate. I teach this in my classes! It’s wonderful. Flight attendants use this on planes when people get panic attacks. It’s amazing

at trans boys who love boys: you are not disgusting. you’re not any less of a man than a cis boy who loves boys. you’re not a girl who fetishizes mlm relationships. you’re a boy who loves boys, and that’s definitely something to take pride in.

i love girls. girls with muddy converse and oversized flannels. girls with killer contour and obsessive use of snapchat’s dog filter. girls who paint and draw and sing. girls who like math and girls who bake. girls who are bad at history and girls who don’t understand science. girls who match their hijabs to their outfits, girls who get made fun of for their hijabs. girls with big, unapologetically natural hair and a loud, bold laugh. girls who people claim are not girls, but truly are. girls with dark body hair and girls with scars and girls with stretch marks that riddle their entire bodies. girls whose bodies don’t fit standards of ‘plus size beauty’, with sweatpants and cozy sweatshirts and mascara from the day before. girls who wear overalls and doodle about their plants. girls who wear leather jackets and chokers and listen to indie rock. girls who like today’s top 40 and girls who listen to 1960s psychedelic jams. girls with mood disorders and personality disorders and autistic girls and girls with learning disabilities. girls who are chronically ill, girls who use wheelchairs, girls who still find the light to keep them going day after day after day. girls who love girls and are proud, girls who love girls and are afraid. girls who like the moon, girls who like the sun, girls who stay inside and don’t care about either.

i love you. i love all of you.