✨Stand Bullshit✨

👀👀👀👀👀👀 ooooooo I really like that

like. Yasuho first is a little scared of the voice, but in true Little Kid Fashion, she also thinks it's pretty neat and fun! Maybe she and Speedwagon even talk sometimes through the narration

heck, maybe her narration isn't even all Plot Related Things. Maybe sometimes she'll just narrate and talk to herself as she walks home or is observing part of town. She likes to people watch and talk about what she thinks they're like and what they do, not realising she's perfectly predicting and "creating" them with her power as a narrator

I'm not super sure how long it'll take her to realise what's going on, or even if she ever will. Sure she knows Speedwagon is abnormal and she might have some moments of doubting her own mental state since "hey wait, imaginary friends aren't actually supposed to talk to you-" but she decides it's harmless enough and well...... she's honestly a pretty lonely person and doesn't mind it much anyways.

Speedwagon ends up almost filling in as a stable adult figure during and after her parent's divorce, and she grows to genuinly care about him. But of course, when canon finally kicks off proper it makes it hurt all the more when Speedwagon kinda...... disappears. Maybe he's able to warn her about it, or maybe he's just gone one day, but Yasuho misses him a lot

maybe Jodio was able to meet Speedwagon, however briefly. He doesn't have too many memories of the man, but Yasuho does her best to be there for Jodio like Speedwagon had been there for her

Speedwagon, just finding himself in a new universe and trying to process what just happened: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

Lucy Steel, the one able to hear his voice this season: what was that?

e x a c t l y

Lucy Has No Idea What's Going On Or Who This Weird Voice In The Sky Is But He Seems Nice So Might As Well Listen To His Guidance

oh

oh

oh fuck wait I didn’t think of that hold on-

ough this is going to accidentally make things SO much more complicated

like. With Stardust and Diamond, the backstories felt like just that. Stories. These weren't people he knew or was even aware existed, so honestly he had no real reason to know for certain the voice he was hearing were Actual Real Events

but then come Part 5, this is going to get INCREDIBLY personal. Hearing Giorno's story from the Voice is already going to be very uncomfortable. He doesn't even know this kid and without his consent he just learned what was probably his darkest secret. When his own backstory gets revealed by the Voice he's going to start to get frustrated because Ex Fucking Cuse You- but then when the rest of the team's stories get revealed? When Bucciarati's gets revealed?

He's going to feel awful. Sure his whole Stand is about uncovering the secrets of the past, but he has a fucking line and that line is that unless they're in danger, his teammate's secrets are off limits. This is a MASSIVE breach of privacy, and while he may not have chosen to learn their secrets he's still going to feel incredibly shitty because they weren't the ones to tell him

This might be the only au where Abbacchio isn’t mean to Giorno, because how do you act like an asshole after hearing this kid’s backstory without his knowledge or consent?

Also I headcanon that Speedwagon doesn’t like cops because of his history so Abbacchio is probably mildly offended at some of the comments Speedwagon makes when narrating his and the other’s backstories considering how many of them dealt with cops

👀👀👀👀👀👀

Abbacchio is definitely really conflicted, because at a first glance he should hate Giorno. He looks and acts basically perfect and completely put together, and by all means that should be driving him up a wall

but he Knows, and because this he wonders how much of it is a defence mechanism. How much is really Giorno and how much was it walls he put up to keep himself safe? Abbacchio may be an ass but he's got standards dammit

and then of course there's just how..... almost painfully awkward he is around the kid because he knows some really personal shit about Geo despite having never met before, and he feels kinda shitty about it because he hadn't been told by Giorno himself but by some weird mystical Voice In The Sky

also for the second one sjvbsjbvsvrs I love that so much-

like. Abbacchio is torn between Hey- and I'm Not Excluded From "Fuck Em" When Relevant

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I Really Like That A Lot Actually

like. Abbacchio remembers Dio as this horrifying, larger than life monster. He was the thing hiding in his closet, the thing stronger than any living person, capable of stopping time itself, killer of hundreds without a single ounce of remorse

and he had a kid

and at first that horrifies Abbacchio. That such a monster had been living so close, had been in the same city as him for years without him knowing and had apparently had a Stand since birth

but then he learns more about Giorno. About who he is and what his story is, and he becomes conflicted

on one hand, this is Dio's kid........ but on the other hand, that's the important word here, isn't it? Kid. He isn't Dio, and from the sounds of it has no idea who his father even was

he's definitely going to be on edge and there's going to be a LOT of conflicting feelings, but he's at least pretty sure the kid isn't going to stab them in the back at any second

........wait

wait

wait with Speedwagon narrating wouldn't Abbacchio be aware of the Overthrowing The Boss Plans hold on a second-

Logical idea: The only ones who can hear him are the Joestars.

Funny idea: the only ones who can hear him are the Jojo allies who Could Not Care Less (Iggy, Rohan, Abbachio, maybe Gwess?).

GJDJFJEJFJDJFE W H E E Z E -

Oh my god that's absolutely hilarious I love it

god Abbacchio's tho, that one is really vibing in my head for some reason

like, growing up around the times of Stardust and Diamond, he could always hear the very distant voice of Speedwagon way off when he was narrating things. He either thought he was a) hearing things or b) crazy, but given how it didn't affect his life that much he didn't think too much of it

but then Golden Wind starts and suddenly The Voice is a LOT louder and narrating Bucciarati which is enough to get him on edge because on the few times he did pay attention to the voice, it seem liked Shit Wasn't Going Super Great. The voice then only gets louder when Giorno arrives, but the kid doesn't seem to realise he's at the centre of this Voice's narration so Abbacchio doesn't know what to think

also I....... I had another chaotic idea

what if they can also hear the music score too, and as a result end up being able to make decent guestimations about what's going on based on how freaked out the music is sounding

Why do I get the feeling that during Stardust Crusaders, Speedwagon stops being “neutral narrator” and just every other word out of his mouth about Dio is him swearing at Dio.

When it’s revealed Diavolo wants to kill Trish, Abbacchio hears “OH YOU EVIL BASTARD!”

WHESFBHSEBVHCSBVS

Speedwagon tries to be neutral, but it's rather obvious who he favours ESPECIALLY when certain things end up happening. Sometimes when Abbacchio and Rohan were younger, they'd occasionally find a quiet place to sit and listen to the insanity that was Stardust.

and absolutely, Speedwagon also tries to keep things very "factual" with as little personal commentary as possible, but every once in a while something so Unbelievably Shitty will happen that he can't help it

as such, this means that when Diavolo Does A Little Trolling, not only is Abbacchio aware of it, but he also know Shit's Fucked because the Voice is cursing and insulting up a storm and he only does that when he's really ticked off

.......hey actually, another Thought....... it's entirely possible that with Speedwagon's narration, Rohan might become aware of Bites The Dust before he dies-

Oh no.

I thought of something worse.

What if Bites the Dust is able to temporarily knock Speedwagon out of commission. And Rohan and Abbachio get a moment of complete silence when before the voice was chatting up a storm and they immediately realize that something is very wrong.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO YESSSSSSS

every time everything resets Speedwagon needs a moment to reorient himself because as much as he is now an omnipotent being, he can see ë̷̼́ṽ̶̤e̶̱͌ṟ̴̓y̶̫̾t̶̼̀h̵̘̏ì̵̹n̶͉̈́g̶̦͒ so he needs to narrate how things are repeating and stuff

it puts both men on edge, but for different reasons. Rohan because of the fact that yeah he's currently ready to look into a serial killer things going all Weird really isn't a good sign. He uses everything he can to his advantage including Speedwagon's narration, so things will hopefully go smoother than canon

Abbacchio tho? He's lowkey freaking out a bit because he has no fucking clue what's happening. At this point Abbacchio has been on the fence of whether the voice is real or not, after all it could possibly be a Stand, but whether it's real or not it's enough to get him to start to panic a bit

oh

oh

oh fuck wait I didn’t think of that hold on-

ough this is going to accidentally make things SO much more complicated

like. With Stardust and Diamond, the backstories felt like just that. Stories. These weren't people he knew or was even aware existed, so honestly he had no real reason to know for certain the voice he was hearing were Actual Real Events

but then come Part 5, this is going to get INCREDIBLY personal. Hearing Giorno's story from the Voice is already going to be very uncomfortable. He doesn't even know this kid and without his consent he just learned what was probably his darkest secret. When his own backstory gets revealed by the Voice he's going to start to get frustrated because Ex Fucking Cuse You- but then when the rest of the team's stories get revealed? When Bucciarati's gets revealed?

He's going to feel awful. Sure his whole Stand is about uncovering the secrets of the past, but he has a fucking line and that line is that unless they're in danger, his teammate's secrets are off limits. This is a MASSIVE breach of privacy, and while he may not have chosen to learn their secrets he's still going to feel incredibly shitty because they weren't the ones to tell him

This might be the only au where Abbacchio isn’t mean to Giorno, because how do you act like an asshole after hearing this kid’s backstory without his knowledge or consent?

Also I headcanon that Speedwagon doesn’t like cops because of his history so Abbacchio is probably mildly offended at some of the comments Speedwagon makes when narrating his and the other’s backstories considering how many of them dealt with cops

👀👀👀👀👀👀

Abbacchio is definitely really conflicted, because at a first glance he should hate Giorno. He looks and acts basically perfect and completely put together, and by all means that should be driving him up a wall

but he Knows, and because this he wonders how much of it is a defence mechanism. How much is really Giorno and how much was it walls he put up to keep himself safe? Abbacchio may be an ass but he's got standards dammit

and then of course there's just how..... almost painfully awkward he is around the kid because he knows some really personal shit about Gio despite having never met before, and he feels kinda shitty about it because he hadn't been told by Giorno himself but by some weird mystical Voice In The Sky

also for the second one sjvbsjbvsvrs I love that so much-

like. Abbacchio is torn between Hey- and I'm Not Excluded From "Fuck Em" When Relevant

Logical idea: The only ones who can hear him are the Joestars.

Funny idea: the only ones who can hear him are the Jojo allies who Could Not Care Less (Iggy, Rohan, Abbachio, maybe Gwess?).

GJDJFJEJFJDJFE W H E E Z E -

Oh my god that's absolutely hilarious I love it

god Abbacchio's tho, that one is really vibing in my head for some reason

like, growing up around the times of Stardust and Diamond, he could always hear the very distant voice of Speedwagon way off when he was narrating things. He either thought he was a) hearing things or b) crazy, but given how it didn't affect his life that much he didn't think too much of it

but then Golden Wind starts and suddenly The Voice is a LOT louder and narrating Bucciarati which is enough to get him on edge because on the few times he did pay attention to the voice, it seem liked Shit Wasn't Going Super Great. The voice then only gets louder when Giorno arrives, but the kid doesn't seem to realise he's at the centre of this Voice's narration so Abbacchio doesn't know what to think

also I....... I had another chaotic idea

what if they can also hear the music score too, and as a result end up being able to make decent guestimations about what's going on based on how freaked out the music is sounding

Ooh I had an idea in the same vein! What if part of the reason Rohan got into Manga as a job was because he heard the SDC adventures? This was probably a great comfort to him, especially if he's still dealing with the trauma of Reimi's death to some extent. As a result, small elements from SDC keep showing up in his Manga from time to time. One issue features a frenchman wielding a rapier, another features a haunted doll, that sort of thing.

Also, firm yes on the music.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

It was really comforting at times. How he got to listen to this great story of magic and heroes, of saving those close and defying all odds to get it done. It helps him cope since the idea of there being Heroes out there is..... well, it's nice

and while as the years go on and he forgets the tragedy, he never forgets the Voice. He wrote down all the stories he heard and while years later he bemoans the lack of details and the childish scrawl, he can't deny it's still a very intriguing story and really good for inspiration

(admittedly when he's older he does start to wonder if the Voice had been something his mind conjured up to cope with some kind of trauma, but he doesn't bring it up to his parents because 1) he'd probably sound insane and 2) he hadn't heard the voice in YEARS so even if he did have issues they were gone now so It's All Good (coughs in mental health stigma))

and I LOVE the idea of Rohan subtly including Stardust Inspired Characters. The main character is ofc the amazing Dark Pink Boy, but some background and supporting characters, locations, and even villains are heavily inspired from what he remembers. There's a haunted suit of armour that came from France which is seeking vengeance against the man who killed him, a large serpent with scales of emerald and ruby and a love for cherries, a haunted camera which foretells the future, a magic torch of fire which holds the spirit of a phoenix, that sort of thing

hell, "Jotaro" might straight up be a supporting character who's a good ally and maybe even emotional support to DPB sort of as a reflection of how the real Jotaro helped Rohan through so much

of course, Rohan had no idea any of these people were real, so come 1999 when a certain Jotaro Kujo enters town and The Voice starts talking again and Rohan is combing through every single one of his old note books and loosing his mind because wait a fucking moment that was all REAL?!?!?

oh

oh

oh fuck wait I didn’t think of that hold on-

ough this is going to accidentally make things SO much more complicated

like. With Stardust and Diamond, the backstories felt like just that. Stories. These weren't people he knew or was even aware existed, so honestly he had no real reason to know for certain the voice he was hearing were Actual Real Events

but then come Part 5, this is going to get INCREDIBLY personal. Hearing Giorno's story from the Voice is already going to be very uncomfortable. He doesn't even know this kid and without his consent he just learned what was probably his darkest secret. When his own backstory gets revealed by the Voice he's going to start to get frustrated because Ex Fucking Cuse You- but then when the rest of the team's stories get revealed? When Bucciarati's gets revealed?

He's going to feel awful. Sure his whole Stand is about uncovering the secrets of the past, but he has a fucking line and that line is that unless they're in danger, his teammate's secrets are off limits. This is a MASSIVE breach of privacy, and while he may not have chosen to learn their secrets he's still going to feel incredibly shitty because they weren't the ones to tell him

Logical idea: The only ones who can hear him are the Joestars.

Funny idea: the only ones who can hear him are the Jojo allies who Could Not Care Less (Iggy, Rohan, Abbachio, maybe Gwess?).

GJDJFJEJFJDJFE W H E E Z E -

Oh my god that's absolutely hilarious I love it

god Abbacchio's tho, that one is really vibing in my head for some reason

like, growing up around the times of Stardust and Diamond, he could always hear the very distant voice of Speedwagon way off when he was narrating things. He either thought he was a) hearing things or b) crazy, but given how it didn't affect his life that much he didn't think too much of it

but then Golden Wind starts and suddenly The Voice is a LOT louder and narrating Bucciarati which is enough to get him on edge because on the few times he did pay attention to the voice, it seem liked Shit Wasn't Going Super Great. The voice then only gets louder when Giorno arrives, but the kid doesn't seem to realise he's at the centre of this Voice's narration so Abbacchio doesn't know what to think

also I....... I had another chaotic idea

what if they can also hear the music score too, and as a result end up being able to make decent guestimations about what's going on based on how freaked out the music is sounding

Why do I get the feeling that during Stardust Crusaders, Speedwagon stops being “neutral narrator” and just every other word out of his mouth about Dio is him swearing at Dio.

When it’s revealed Diavolo wants to kill Trish, Abbacchio hears “OH YOU EVIL BASTARD!”

WHESFBHSEBVHCSBVS

Speedwagon tries to be neutral, but it's rather obvious who he favours ESPECIALLY when certain things end up happening. Sometimes when Abbacchio and Rohan were younger, they'd occasionally find a quiet place to sit and listen to the insanity that was Stardust.

and absolutely, Speedwagon also tries to keep things very "factual" with as little personal commentary as possible, but every once in a while something so Unbelievably Shitty will happen that he can't help it

as such, this means that when Diavolo Does A Little Trolling, not only is Abbacchio aware of it, but he also know Shit's Fucked because the Voice is cursing and insulting up a storm and he only does that when he's really ticked off

.......hey actually, another Thought....... it's entirely possible that with Speedwagon's narration, Rohan might become aware of Bites The Dust before he dies-

Logical idea: The only ones who can hear him are the Joestars.

Funny idea: the only ones who can hear him are the Jojo allies who Could Not Care Less (Iggy, Rohan, Abbachio, maybe Gwess?).

GJDJFJEJFJDJFE W H E E Z E -

Oh my god that's absolutely hilarious I love it

god Abbacchio's tho, that one is really vibing in my head for some reason

like, growing up around the times of Stardust and Diamond, he could always hear the very distant voice of Speedwagon way off when he was narrating things. He either thought he was a) hearing things or b) crazy, but given how it didn't affect his life that much he didn't think too much of it

but then Golden Wind starts and suddenly The Voice is a LOT louder and narrating Bucciarati which is enough to get him on edge because on the few times he did pay attention to the voice, it seem liked Shit Wasn't Going Super Great. The voice then only gets louder when Giorno arrives, but the kid doesn't seem to realise he's at the centre of this Voice's narration so Abbacchio doesn't know what to think

also I....... I had another chaotic idea

what if they can also hear the music score too, and as a result end up being able to make decent guestimations about what's going on based on how freaked out the music is sounding