✨Stand Bullshit✨

STANDVERSE AU: Killer Queen's Cat Cafe // The Crimson Court

As an ode to her beloved user, Queen created a comfortable and quiet lounge. It's made to fit a large crowd, but she only ever invites her few new allies.

Meanwhile, in the name of his User(s), King Crimson is rebuilding their kingdom, bringing their tyranny onto the Flipside (with Epitaph of course).

(close-ups under cut)

disastrous moment before stray is stuffed into a knitted cat beanie (and okuyasu's subsequent tragic death)

Cat fight

while I don't think they'd get along, I do think there is the possibility for some kind of reluctant bond

aside from the whole Cat vs Dog thing, Koichi and Iggy are just. WAY too different in terms of personality and goals and I can't see any situation where they'd willingly get along very well. They'd be fighting constantly, almost as bad as Koichi and Stray

However...... there would definitely be some kind of mutual understanding. Living as animals in a world for humans, having the mental capacity of a human but lacking the experience and understanding of people, that feeling of not being understood, it's all going to be relatable

And while they do hate each other, they don't quite want the other dead. A bit roughed up they can tolerate, but an actual attempt on their life which they wouldn't be able to defend themselves from? Yeah, that's where they draw the line. When Koichi is presumably killed, Iggy is absolutly going to seek vengeance

It's not going to stop Iggy from constantly dirtying Koichi's fur with sand or Koichi from making Iggy hear things though

Once again looking through my DMs and I found an AU I COMPLETELY forgot about

AU where everything’s the same except Koichi’s a cat

that’s it

He’s the Hirose’s cat, and gets along surprisingly well with Police. He also keeps managing to find his way outside, and when he gets shot with the arrow the Stand acquisition gives him a couple more thoughts to have in that little head of his

he uses Echoes to get around faster, riding on Act 1 and 2’s backs and then just having Act 3 hold him(maybe Act 3 could talk for him?). He’ll also sneak into Josuke and Okuyasu’s bags sometimes because it’s comfy and he likes it

He’s still Rohan’s favorite, but his interest in Koichi is cranked WAY up because being a non human Stand User, any knowledge inside him is COMPLETELY fresh and new

and yes, this does mean Jotaro sent a cat to Italy

Okay that kinda gave me a thought

so Kira seems to like cats, right?

What if during the Centipede Shoes fight, Jotaro still gets taken out, but much later than canon because he doesn't have to take a hit directed at Koichi and specifically after he calls Josuke and Okuyasu. Then he gets a tad exploded, knocked the fuck out, Koichi gets a bit hurt and then good ol Kira shows up

But as has been made very obvious, Koichi isn’t a person this time. Koichi is just a Little Guy™ and Kira would have no reason to see him as an enemy, especially if Koichi didn’t have Echoes out right now

And what if in all the chaos…… Koichi’s collar ended up getting ripped off

So Kira takes one look at this tiny, collarless, badly injured and filthy cat and assumes it was just a stray who got caught in the crossfire and decides to adopt him, or at the very least take care of him until his injuries heal. There’s a bit of a hiccup when his identity nearly gets found out, but no biggie, he can just threaten the local Stand Beautician into changing his identity and then kill her ✨

So now…….. Koichi’s stuck. Kira is a surprisingly good and caring cat owner and pulls out all the stops, including refusing to let him outside, and Koichi is genuinely scared about what would happen should he reveal the fact he’s a Stand User. Plus, it doesn’t help that he’s healing from some pretty severe injuries and has difficulties moving around. It takes days before he’s able to walk again, and even then it’s with a limp

And of course, Shinobu is COMPLETELY on board with this. Seeing her husband return from work not only much more different than before but with a small kitty he wants to help? She is head over heels and more than happy to help

There is definitely some amount of rivalry between the two cats. On Koichi’s side it’s because Stray is just completely chill with all the murdering Kira does, and on Stray’s side it’s because of all the extra attention Kira gives Koichi. Kira has had to separate these two on NUMEROUS occasions, which eventually leads to him deciding to keep Stray in the attic to protect the presumably Defenseless Normal Not-A-Stand User Cat

I do think when Hayato starts poking around Koichi ends up revealing himself to him, if only to try and get another ally

and then of course, on the other side of things everyone high key thinks Kira killed Koichi because when they find his collar there’s blood on it which is just another tally to put on the shit list because What Kind Of Asshole Kills A Cat You Sick Fuck. And as far as Koichi’s family is aware, he died in the “gas explosion” that happened, so they don’t put up any Missing posters

thankfully they’re all very happily surprised a few weeks later when things gets solved and Koichi manages to escape :D

I went and designed a killer queen MOC and now I wish pink pieces were more of a thing (other than the kanohi I hope it’s a viable build)

stray cat is a shadow leech :3