✨Stand Bullshit✨

At some point, the crew get to film a blooper of Diavolo, in his death loop, cowering from an army of Small Narancia.

DJVBNJSDBVJSDBVS

Diavolo's death loops were when every actor and even some crew on set collectively decided it was time to cash in every single spare prop they could For The Shits And Giggles. Narancia, Mista and Giorno even managed to find some props from previous parts to use

I RUINED MY HAND FOR THIS

(click for better quality <3)

AU where the Bucci Gang get trapped in a time loop, spanning from the start of the part and to sometime after Diavlo’s defeat. And sure, for a while it starts off angsty with everyone trying to figure out what’s going on and how to avoid people dying

but then after several loops, Bucciarati enforces a Break Loop where they just. Take a break and calm down and rest so they don’t loose their minds

and then during said Break Loop, Narancia ends up suggesting turning the next loop into a game to blow off some steam and let loose a bit.

You know how in speed runs, there are sub categories with specific rules? Like in Super Mario Odyssey, there’s Nipple Percent where you have to take Mario’s shirt off as fast as possible, or Damageless Percent where you have you beat the game without being hit

Yeah they do that

@reggie-trying-thier-best Oh absolutely

The biggest thing holding them back is travel time but Narancia Will Not Be Stopped

Oh god I just realized that Mista would singlehandedly move the record from 5 days and a bit to 3 days 23 hours purely to avoid the record being anywhere within 4 days.

He has a bajillion tricks and adjustments he came up with he’s just sitting on until someone gets it down NEARLY to four days and then tried to implement them all at once to get it down to three and 23.

JHAEBFDHAEBFHEBHFA YEAH HE WOULD WOULDN'T HE-

Mista spends COUNTLESS loops testing and experimenting every trick seperately, mentally keeping track of the time saved, and anytime someone might get a record of 4 days he purposefully interferes

there is an ongoing war between Mista and Narancia. The former who is trying to avoid a 4 day record, and Narancia who is trying to get it

Mista succeding in a 3 days 23 hours record is what spurs Narancia on to try and get a 4 hour record, no matter what

You know this actually makes it more likely that Jotaro won’t go through a divorce. If he trusts her with his wereform he probably would trust her with his other family burdens.

“So let me get this straight… you’re great great great adopted uncle turned into a vampire, stole your ancestors body after he ripped his head off, survived a 100 years under the sea in a coffin. Made a cult. You fought him in Egypt because he was killing your mom with magic spirit powers (witch you also have) and now you’re still dealing with the aftermath.”

“Basically… yes.”

“If I didn’t see you transform into a giant lizard dog, I’d probably would’ve called someone to put you in a straitjacket or something.”

“Fair.”

I doubt it would make Jolyne’s childhood any more better though.

Either because her mom knows and supports her father being absent or them taking countermeasures to keep them safe.

I seriously doubt Dio’s followers will let their leaders killer have a happy life.

Jotaro learns the magical lesson of Hey Maybe It's Actually A Good Thing To Communicate Why I Do Things Actually

however, I would argue otherwise about Jolyne's childhood. Sure it's still gonna be great and Jolyne's still probably going to be upset about it (and honestly rightfully so), part of why Jotaro's relationships with them was so dysfunctional in canon is because Marina and Jolyne didn't know why Jotaro was so absent. As far as they knew..... he just didn't care enough or was too busy to make time

here at the very least they know it's because it's for safety. Does it suck still? Absolutely, and Jolyne is still bitter about it. However, this time Marina is able to help her work through those emotions and get Jotaro to at least call more often so their relationship isn't as strained as it is in canon

True that!

How about instead we talk about the dumb things the other Jostars do while as a beast.

Joseph probably likes steeling shiny stuff and giving them to the people who he stole them from.

Josuke brings dead things on the doorstep.

Giorno probably plays dead (nobody is falling for it)

That’s all I got right now.

Between dog 'lick people to show you love them' and lion 'lick packmates to groom them' instincts Jonathan's beast form WILL lick you. Unfortunately, he does have sandpapery cat tounge.

SURHVBSJRBVHSBVS E X A C T L Y

All of these are absolutely adorable and 100% canon now, but I have a counterpoint for the thing you brought up with Giorno:

Narancia and sometimes Mista will instead be super over the top about "believing" he's dead. Like, I'm talking full "HE WAS SO YOUNG" and "WHO COULD'VE POSSIBLY DONE THIS" while on their knees.

Narancia plans a funeral. Mista gets flowers. Fugo gets dragged into starting an "investiagtion" and Trish helps. They pretend to be so offended when Abbacchio scoffs at their insanity saying he has no respect. Bucciarati is watching looking so tired but also trying not to laugh

and of course Giorno is just living his best life on the floor occasionally wriggling and being So Freaking Happy his hive is having fun with him

ABBA IN THE HOUSEEEEE

VOCAL PERCUSSION ON A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL ‼️

Blursed hairstyle swap. Narancia and Mista were the only ones I properly took references for and I think it shows lol. Forehead Trish is extra cursed.

Mista please do yourself a favor and get a proper gun holster

Hello ! It’s been a really long while !

I’m only posting on my twitter account now but I’ll post this one here as well thanks to a request I had.

Enjoy ~

Congratulations, you’ve triggered an unskipable cutscene of me infodumping about the Passione and Diavolo/Doppio aspect of this AU, you cannot escape me-

SO BASICALLY shit starts way at the beginning with Diavolo and Doppio. Not fully sure about the dad situation, but their mom was human. Unfortunately, she still ends up getting arrested for Something Or Other, and a young Diavolo and infant Doppio end up getting put into the “care” of the priest guy

now, unfortunately for them, Diavolo has a couple of Mer traits that are starting to poke up, and well…… yeah, no shade to religion as a whole, but you’ve gotta admit, the strict “traditional” types really don’t take this kinda shit well. So Diavolo spends most of his child and young adulthood locked in a basement thing that was connect to but still locked away from the ocean. Like, there’s a tunnel leading outside to the open water but it’s barred off so only water and some fish can get through

Now, the contact between these two was incredibly limited, however the priest guy at least had enough sense to know “okay, letting the monster in the basement actually go insane is a Very Not Good Idea, so let’s see if social interaction can keep him docile” and it both…… does and doesn’t work as intended. On the plus side, for a good chunk of years, Diavolo does just that. On the downside, with every year that goes by, with every year Doppio brings down books and stories from the outside world, with every year he grows larger and the cave grows smaller…….. his hunger for the outside world grows ravenous

So he breaks out via the tunnel and with Doppio’s help. After all, that’s his older brother! He’s sure as hell going to help him out with this!!! And honestly? For the next couple weeks, Diavolo is content with this. He goes out basically every night, usually with Doppio but sometimes without, just to experience what the world has to offer. It's during one of these nights he ends up meeting Donatella which then leads to Trish, but he's completely unaware of her since Donatella was a tourist and not a local

unfortunately, things aren't all perfect. See, Diavolo gets a bit....... overzealous in his newfound freedom, and kinda over does it. That combined with his extreme lack of social skills means that he doesn't take it very kindly to people who disrespect him, especially if some of said people pick up on his mer biology. So he's unfortunately pretty prone to starting fights, most of the time which he leaves no survivors. He hides all the bodies in his tunnel and honestly isn't bothered by it too much. If anything, he's actually kinda proud of it

unfortunately, this backfires when the priest finds out what's up, connects the dots as to all the murders and disappearances, and reacts in a very reasonable, logical way

yeah, so he starts a lynch-

Diavolo and Doppio, understandably, start to freak the fuck out and respond in a similarly reasonable, logical way

Doppio starts a shit ton of fires and Diavolo grows to full size to smash the place

come morning, the whole town is nothing but ash and there were no survivors. Diavolo gives Doppio a ride to the neighbouring island and they both decide "okay, let's not do that again, what could be do to make sure we don't get put in a situation like that again?" and decide the safest long term plan for them would be to gain power. Legal power however was a bit too out and open for their tastes, so they decided instead to gain underground power. They start building up their gang, recruiting people and starting their "trade," and they actually draw in quite the crowd. Given how accepting the two were about mers they ended up finding a very untapped market of manpower that was free for the taking

and of course, when they find on of the Arrows this power just increases. The Beetle Arrow (or maybe it's some kind of other animal? maybe an octopus?) is still Super Power and different from the others, and also something they only had temporarily before it was snatched up by Polnareff, but they've got at least one regular arrow which gives humans a bit of a slight power boost. Maybe instead of fully transforming them, it gives them a randomised minor mer-themed ability, ex: slightly boosted strength or can hold their breaths for a long time or more durable skin, etc etc

it's enough that there are a LOT of rumours of Passione's crews, but they're also still obviously very human which insights a lot more cooperation from those under their "rule" out of general fear

I'll admit, I'm not super sure how Diavolo and Doppio learn about Trish's existence, but that whole part of the AU is Diavolo wording the Bucci Gang to pick her up on one island and bring her to another island on the other side of the "Italy" part of the archipelago. Maybe for some Fun Team Bonding because this is in the equivalent of Pirate/Victorian Times For The Aesthetic <3 it takes them several weeks instead of just one. Giorno is a Weird Cabin Boy that Bucciarati dragged back to the ship who gives them all Vibes, but none of them actually suspect him of being a proper mer because they've all gotten used to the Vibes that come with being stabbed by the arrow

broski I’m fucking vibrating right now, you’ve just dumped a shit ton of lighter fluid on a bonfire and I have sO FUCKING MANY THINGS TO SAY IN RESPONSE TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS AND IDEAS

so from the top:

yes, Dio did in fact fuck a mer. I'm tempted to say that he didn't actually realise she was a mer at first, but given how good of a hunter he is that might not work. However, if/when he does find out he keeps her around because of the incentive of her luring more mers in. Again, who knows if that actually works, but Giorno's bio mom is killed shortly after he's born but before she is she ends up hiding him in the town of Naples amongst the humans to at least try and give him a shot at life

as for Dio's longevity, I was thinking that could be his side affect of getting stabbed with the arrow. Instead of getting any specific trait, his aging has kinda just....... slowed down to the point it's basically nonexistent. Maybe he got traits from a bowhead whale, which can live to 200 years, or for shits and giggles the ocean quahog, a clam, which can live to 500

and now for the meat of my thoughts for this: the Bucci Gang :)

SO, for the most part, I was thinking capo's are kinda like commanders. Like how Bucciarati still had a team before he became capo in canon, Bucciarati is still the captain of the ship before his impromptu promotion. The capo's are the ones that control and command an area of Passione's territory and all the ships who "operate" in that area. Bucciarati had been a captain for quite a while before he became capo, and honestly there had been talk of the man being promoted to capo for some time. Polpo's death and his promotion felt more like an inevitability then anything else, and was met with very little pushback

and Narancia is ABSOLUTELY their crow's nest guy. He's basically got a whole setup up there with pillows and snacks. And while I do adore the idea of giving him echo location, I was also thinking of giving him some i n s a n e l y good eye sight (and maybe his eyes look a little weird as a result :3). He doesn't even need to use a spyglass to look out

and with Fugo, absolutely 100% yes there, let's give him so many touch issues. Personally I vote for giving him some traits of a reef stonefish, aka the most venomous fish in the whole world. Maybe unlike the others Fugo is actually part mer instead of getting his stuff via the arrow, but it's pretty distant so he can't transform and just has some spines and discolouration on his skin.

I..... admittedly don't have too many thoughts for Bucciarati or Abbacchio. For Abba I'm SO tempted to give him some manta ray, if only for the vibes with Moody Blues and to possibly give him some little nubs on his head that he has to hide. Also it could be a funny excuse for why he's so tall. He was average height before he got stabbed, then when he did he grew a foot and a half

Mista though, that one I do have an idea for, and that's for him to be the resident Normie Guy. He's the only full blooded human on the team who managed to not get stabbed, and as such he's also the most at risk of drowning. Ofc, this also means he's the one that falls off the ship the most

and JRSDBVHDRBVHD YESYESYES I LOVE THE IDEA OF THE PISTOLS BEING THE SHIP CATS

the first cat was Mista's, her name is Canon, and he was absolutely ecstatic when he realised there would be More Cats. When they were born he named them each ofter different kinds of long ranged weaponry, but much to his frustration nobody could remember and they started calling them by numbers instead. To make things even worse, because four other people were calling them by said numbers, the kittens ended up learning that as their names instead

to try and make him feel not as bad, they call them as a group the Pistols, but the damage was already done 😔

fishy fishy 🐟

vento aureo is just a really good arc

(full-view i guess?)

[Context: in the dub, Giorno says really nice things when Narancia...yknow]