She’s Berries, Baby

Does anyone else feel, like, a weird inhibition against starting new TV shows?  Like, there are shows I want to watch but when I think about sitting down to start it something in me goes “no you can’t just do that.”  What am i waiting for?  I feel like I need to prepare?  Brain:  You have to wait.  Me:  Wait for what???  Brain:  WAIT

I found out recently that it’s due to not having enough emotional or mental space to process something new. Got too much going on in your own head/real life already.

Me: I would like to experience this new thing.

My Brain:… no.

Me: Why not?

My Brain: Can’t do it. Not today.

Me: Whyyyyyyyy?

My Brain: Because we are processing at capacity and one more stream is going to crash the whole system. 

Me, aloud: I’m not in the mood to try (new thing) right now.

THIS IS A REAL THING??? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!!?

Wow. that explains… so much

No wonder I can barely start new anime or cartoons anymore.

This also can be a very common issue for people with ADHD or other conditions that cause emotional dysregulation, even if you’re not actively Going Through Something at the time. Like, the knowledge that it’s going to evoke an emotional response in you means you’re more likely to keep putting it off because you have trouble returning to an equilibrium after an emotional spike. Like, shows that I have been REALLY INTO, like SUPER INVESTED, with lots of feelings involved – I have to take breaks between new episodes of it and go back to watching things I’ve already watched before that I know how they end, and I’m prepared for the emotions that go with them, to give myself a break from the emotional spikes and exhaustion of being surprised – even pleasantly – by the media I’m watching.

This tho. I just got diagnosed with ADHD and called my cousin and said “Hey so,,, based on the things I do that got me diagnosed, I think that maybe,,,, every. single. person. in our family has it. You might want to look into it.” I know another family where anxiety IS the family culture, and if you aren’t born with anxiety then they’ll induce it (although they call it “teaching you to have a healthy appreciation for danger”). You can break the cycle by just going in for a few weeks’ of therapy and figuring out what’s going on with your brain before you become a parent.