Hannibal (2013-2015)

Will + teaching

Cyril Power (British, 1872-1951), The Tube Staircase, 1929. Linocut printed in yellow, cobalt blue and black on thin oriental laid paper, block: 444 x 258 mm.; sheet: 532 x 320 mm. Numbered 30/50

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

to the people saying this isn't safe in the tags: my dad has a engineering degree and my brother is a mechanic this is like. state sanctioned macgyvering. safe sane and consensual macgyvering. our house will not burn down. in fact, i think it has made us all better in approaching problems from all angles when they arise, which has served me well in life, especially in high stress situations.

does our hot water switch off every thirty seconds making showers an exiting exercise in counting and resilience? yes. but one time the door of the train toilet broke, trapping me inside, and i went "well i can either succumb to the panic of claustrophobia or do this family-style" and then spent twenty minutes breaking down the lock with my shoelace and the belt i was wearing. so i'll take the cold water any day

Never have I wanted to see inside a stranger's home more

OP lives in a point-and-click adventure game

Religious art leaves out the best part and it’s such a goddamn shame. Livestock, Agriculture and Food is an integral part of any culture and we all need to be pushing for more realistic sheep in religious art. #FATTAILSFORJESUS

“How think ye? If a man have a hundred sheep and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains and listen for the clappeth of it’s itinerant cheeks?” - Matthew 18:12, the bible

CLAPPETH….

I made this post a long time ago and never posted the follow up post, so here it is. Additional info on Fat tail sheep

Fat tailed sheep is not a single specific breed of sheep. It’s a catchall word like “Health care worker”.

There’s tons and tons of different breeds. They all store fat in their tails, but fall into two main categories: WIDE tails and LONG tails

Wide tails store fat in the rump area and have no visible tails.

Long tails store fat in the tail itself, which vary in length in different breeds. In the olden days, people took pride in breeding sheep with the longest tail. They are not so popular today as it’s hard to find a decent tail cart on Amazon.

Speaking of Tail carts, they come in different styles and designs. We dont have any that are actually preserved, but old drawing of them show different wheels harnesses.

Some of them are literally just skateboards

Back in the day, breeding sheep with long dragging tails was all the rage. Nowadays different tails types have been developed to prevent them from dragging their tails on the ground. Such as the “folded tail” or the “Only fat at the base” Tail

Despite fat tail sheep being the most common sheep breeds in the world, most people in the west have never heard of them. The West likes Wool Sheep. Fat tails are strictly meat sheep and have little useful wool. They also do poorly in colder climates

There’s a huge community of shepherds on youtube that script, choreograph and shoot elaborate videos for their sheep complete uplifting music to highlight their best qualities (for sale and stud) It is fantastic. Such as this one:

People kept bringing up Fat Bottomed Girls. Ya’ll are wrong. These are fat bottomed BOYS. Sheep are often continuously bred, so the females are constantly getting pregnant, giving birth and nursing.

That’s very hard on the body, so they can’t build up as much fat as the boys.

The fattest sheep, the ones with the truly VAST tails, rocking them little carts are ALWAYS males.

This is why the Bible specifically states that ONLY the rumps of the Males are to fit to be offered to the lord……

Picture: God desiring the tail

“And he shall offer of the sacrifice of the peace offering an offering made by fire unto the LORD; the fat thereof, and the WHOLE rump” -Leviticus 3:9

I mean… look.

Arguably these are just minor details and doesnt matter….

But beyond it’s teachings the bible is also a work of literature about life in the ancient world. And on some level these kinds of small details bring a sort of richness to these depictions of real…

Ancient people bred out sheep with huge butts, took the largest sheep butts, set them on fire and prayed over the burning butt. It checks out.

i usually dont post my Good Stuff but supersons are too cute to keep to myself...

I love them, your honor

It is 14 Nov 2024.

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You don’t have to complete every prompt – just pick the ones that inspire you. When you’re ready, share your creations and add them to our AO3 anniversary collection and join the party!

Whether you’re here for the trivia, the prompts, or neither — thank you for being with us on our fifteenth anniversary. Happy 15th!

Your merciful God. He destroyed his own beloved, rather than let a mediocrity share in the smallest part of his glory. He killed Mozart. And kept me alive to torture. 32 years of torture. 32 years of slowly watching myself become extinct.

AMADEUS (1984) dir. Miloš Forman

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.

Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!

My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!

Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.

If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.

MAGNIFICENT

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

"my stepdad's wife"

@sapphic-sargent your tags omg

You are doing God’s work