I still can't believe that Tommy "Karate" Pitera, the mafia boss who was also a karate champion and who killed people by doing karate on them, was a real person. That's not a combination of traits a real guy has. That is a Metal Gear character. That is Chuck Norris playing the heel in a Bruce Lee movie. But no, there was a time not that long ago when people on the mean streets of Brooklyn might whisper "Hey, watch out for Tommy Karate, he'll kill you with his bare hands" with the gravest seriousness.

Was he the one who was also basically a serial killer and grossed the other mafia guys out because of how much he seemed to enjoy dismembering people

This sent me on a wiki crawl, and I cannot believe some of this. I assumed "Tommy Karate, gangster from Brooklyn" would have been some kind of self-aggrandisement but no, he kicked so much arse at a New York dojo as a youth that he won a scholarship to live in Tokyo studying at a famous historical dojo, where he lived for over 2 years, perfecting the art of beating people to death with his bare hands. He apparently was legitimately just that good at Karate. And I say was, but he's still alive! He was only arrested in 1990! Within my lifetime this lunatic was killing people with Karate in New York City and dumping their dismembered corpses in Staten Island!

Oh my apologies to mass murderer Tommy "Karate" Pitera, who despite the nickname actually studied Togakure-Ryu Ninjutsu in Tokyo. We wouldn't want to be inaccurate with regards to the ninja gangster, now would we.

When I was learning togakure-ryu ninjutsu while in college, they did not tell me about Tommy Karate. I feel like maybe they should have.

I can't be the first to make this connection

y'all slept on the first chart but I will make the world see my vision

...Can I add this

I'm sorry but why was this the post where I learned some rich lady fell in love with the Grinch

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

Nothing will ever be as funny to me as doctor who from the masters pov. Your best friend wanders into the woods and befriends a group of squirrels. He decides he will protect that specific tree with his life, even at the cost of your own species. You are the last two humans in the world. You once again try to burn down that fucking tree

op i am howling

how dare you hide this in the tags!

there was a chicken loose on the golf course so they just. brought it in. to the office.

you can't argue with her work ethic

i paint. and because someone told me that another student wanted to get his portrait done i approached this man who i have barely exchanged two sentences before and said "i heard you want to get painted. i'll do it for 500"

and it took as two very confusing and exparating minutes of haggling about the price and outlining the logistics of said painting during which i said sentences like "you can be naked if you want but that would be extra" and "what do you mean why would you pay me. i do all the work?" while he got increasingly more flushed until i put my foot down and said "well if you want to be painted baroque style that's gonna cost some money" and he said "oh my god PAINTED. that makes a lot more sense."

turns out he misheard me and thought a stranger. a random person. came up to him in the middle of the lecture hall in front of god and everyone and loudly and confidently said "i heard you want get pegged." and then got mad at his refusal to pay half a grand for it. can you fucking imagine

Sounds like he wants to get pegged

me: to really understand Frankenstein, we have to take into account that Mary Shelley was surrounded by creative men who really didn’t take her seriously, so in addition to sci-fi horror, it can also be read as an exploration of female creative frustration and-

The burglar that broke into my house: bodily autonomy?

me: exactly. Now,

Gay asf to be a dentist. Why you wanna drill another man??? Why you wanna make him scream? Why you wanna put your hands in his mouth? Anyway I’m here to shoot you because you’re mistreating your girlfriend who Im in love with and I need fresh human blood to feed my gaint talking plant from outer space

Not like that film was a one-off either.

I would like to add The Birdcage (1996) to this list of drag queen movies (mind you, it's based on a French stage play from 1973).

Which starred Nathan Lane as a drag queen just two years after he had voice Pumba in "The Lion King":

And we ESPECIALLY need to remember Victor Victoria from 1982 (during the REAGAN administration) which is SET IN THE 1930S and stars everyone's favorite curtain-sewing nanny as a struggling soprano who decides to pretend to be a boy doing drag (DOUBLE THE DRAG FOR YOUR MONEY). I mean look at this photo:

Count Victor Grazinski isn't putting up with your transphobia (or you being a dick to Robert Preston).

Unfortunately, the representation of drag and female impersonation (as it was often called pre-Stonewall) is scant in mainstream American cinema due to the Hayes Code. There are definitely more, but these are biggest, "family-friendly" names I can think who have starred in major motion pictures as drag performers.

isabelle i literally have no idea what you’re talking about

HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!

Picturing two tiger plushies just kind of sitting there facing each other in Thunderdome

i am picturing it

Hobbes and Tigger would find some aspect of tigerhood to bond over, but Calvin would put Christopher Robin in the ground.

it's good that we're saying "i don't feel guilty about pleasure im not Catholic" but we also need to start saying "i don't feel self-righteous about being overworked I'm not Puritan"

first day on the job