Activism is not cold-calling.
Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.
I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.
As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.
Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.
IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.
Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.
This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.
Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.
Oh hey this is the post I was going to write as a follow-up and now I don’t have to. Anyway, see everything above for why blaming the way women respond to men on the internet who they have no existing relationship with for the rise of alt-right misogyny is extremely beside the point. Effective activism leverages existing relationships - and requires people who are committed to doing activism in the first place.
This kind of planning is in fact what half of union organizing is. Its both genuine (you really need to actually care about the people you’re talking to!) and strategic (what matters to this person? How will they be able to accept this message?)
Also: you’re not trying to convince someone to agree with you perfectly. I’m trying to convince a hesitant coworker to show up on the first day of a potential strike and see how it goes. Or, as a different example, I’m not trying to convince my grandmother to call herself antizionist. I’m trying to convince her that she should use her influence in her synagogue community to advocate for an immediate ceasefire. In both cases, its finding the right ask for who I’m talking to- something that is both reasonable and will make a difference.
A million times yes to both of these additions, which complement @ariaste's tags:
Activism is a balance of strategy & humanity. @elwingflight is correct that there is LOTS of planning involved in union organizing. There's literally detailed conversational scripts for talking to your coworkers about unionizing, and they're effective. We can and should be using script & strategy. The alt-right is doing it, also very effectively, and for unfathomably evil purposes. We need to be fighting back in ways that work.
And then @sixth-light's extremely powerful & succinct way of putting it: "Effective activism leverages existing relationships." Because fundamentally we are all people, and human beings can only take so much of being yelled at by strangers on twitter who see us as subhuman ("their side") or cannon fodder ("our side.")
I know the "you can't pour from an empty cup" saying goes around all the time relating to activism, but this doesn't just mean rest time - it also means making sure the time & energy you are using is used well, and that you're allowing yourself to see and appreciate the results, even if having a conversation with your grandma or hesitant coworker isn't overthrowing the regime in one go. You need to learn to set and achieve 'smaller' goals, because those are the building blocks, and because anchoring yourself to those points of connection will help you keep moving forward.
