a heap of ideas and a heap of woes

I adore that riverside iowa just decided one day that they were where kirk was born and the writers were just like fuck it why not

Imagine growing up in a town that's had a plaque celebrating your birth for more than 200 years before you were born

imagine how many people in Riverside in the early 2200s are going to change their last name to Kirk in the hopes that they can be the special couple who gets lucky enough (they're definitely going to have scheduled insemination but still these things aren't perfectly plannable) to have a baby born on March 22 that they get to name James Tiberius

This goes into my collection of lover's arms

I did this with no references, heinous work

I CAN actually finish art isn't that cray cray

Uhura is the type of person to have a salad in a plastic container she shakes obnoxiously for 10 minutes before eating it like an English teacher

Diagnosis

———

Spock: Jim<3

McCoy: Well, looks like you’re in love… medically speaking

Spock: god fucking dammit.

———

Shoutout to @flyingspacewhale for putting a new light bulb in my ko-fi lamp! I’m using the funds to make everybody’s shoes solid instead of hollow!

If you like my stuff, and want to help me make more stuff and do more crimes, my ko-fi link is in my bio!

what if i made them play sports

I'm not sure if it's canon compliant but giving Bones an anxiety disorder makes for such an interesting dynamic. I mean. This man will not bat an eyelash when an augmented war lord tries to strangle him but has to perform breathing exercises before he uses a transporter. Exceptional

mandatory Enterprise bridge crew team bonding through life or death baseball ^_^ prob cos of some evil computer again that’s also a big baseball fan idk

Star Trek

Why his tits out? He a slut?

Yes

you are incredibly welcome to vote if you have never seen star trek in your life and have 0 context for any of this

last day to place your pick on my star trek poll of things that actually happened, absolutely loving how the comments/tags are divided between people who can tell by memory which one each episode is from and people who think I made stuff up, that's the correct energy

I knew it was very probable for the outcome to be thus, but for a moment there, sulu had it. Here goes the recount with the episode names, for those who were wondering:

#8 S1E2 "Charlie X": in which rand has to teach a horny teenager about consent (4.6%)

#7 S2E20 "Return to Tomorrow": in which chapel has to hide the consciousness of her crush in her fangirl head (5%)

#6 S1E15 "Shore Leave": in which bones comes across alice and the white rabbit (8.2%)

#5 S2E12 "The Deadly Years": in which chekov's anxiety saves him from a mortal virus (9.7%)

#4 S2E15 "The Trouble With Tribbles": in which uhura unleashes a wildlife emergency by adopting a fur ball (9.9%)

#3 A TIE! between S1E7 "What Are Little Girls Made Of?": in which jim grabs a giant rock dildo to defend himself and S2E14 "Wolf in the Fold": in which scotty is framed for murder by jack the ripper's spirit (12.2%)

#2 S1E4 "The Naked Time": in which sulu goes feral with a sword

#1 S2E1 "Amok Time": in which spock has seasonal 'fuck or die' syndrome

what’s ensign chekov complaining abt this time? 😪😪