you can't possess something twice

me: i am totally rocking this whole coping thing, i don’t even feel like myself! Sometimes i don’t feel anything at all! Isn’t that great??

my therapist: …you’re dissociating…. 

me:

someone: *taps my shoulder*

me: *reverts to my t-pose and clips through the floor*

I’m so ready for this today, oh my god.

sky williams on twitter

i tried to propose to megatron at universal today…

OH MAH GAD

This was epic and ballsy! His reply was perfect!

Universal Studios Megatron is the BEST Megatron. He gets away with saying so much shit.

me: today i will play video game

*turns on video game*

me: 

when you’re out looking for pokemon but then the server crashes and you’re forced to enjoy nature

“PARENTS EXCUSE MY POTTY MOUTH" 

My son

Future son fr.

me, playing golf: VORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! golf dudes: um its “fore” not “vore”

me, louder:

VORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love everything about this

this is exactly how i feel giving people my art as gifts