I hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get a job. What if I wanted to be a cat.

me: i am totally rocking this whole coping thing, i don’t even feel like myself! Sometimes i don’t feel anything at all! Isn’t that great??

my therapist: …you’re dissociating…. 

me:

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

i think we as a people just need to have a glass of water 

I love mother mother because it’s like [twangy upbeat folk melody about suicidal ideation]

i wish i could be the person i want to be but im too tired

loved one: sorry, i can’t hang out! i have plans with other people 

my hellbrain’s instincts: wow you love them more tha- 

me, ignoring her and working on being a better person: that’s okay! i hope you have fun! can we hang out some other time?

I love this bc it’s a little snapshot of what the intermediate stage of recovery/treatment/growth can look like.

It might not be what you expect. I think people want to stop having those thoughts immediately, and if they can’t they feel that they’ve failed. But that’s not true! Challenging those old thought patterns is exactly what recovery looks like

I don’t care if I lose a thousand followers overnight, but if you think “tranny” or “shemale” are remotely acceptable ways to refer to a transgender person, please unfollow me.

The number of notes on this pleases both my ego and my fragile faith in humanity.

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

In case u didn’t see these gems on buzzfeed

“In Nepal, 150 people have been killed and 90,000 homes have been destroyed in what the UN has called the worst flooding incident in the country in a decade.

According to the Red Cross, at least 7.1 million people have been affected in Bangladesh - more than the population of Scotland - and around 1.4 million people have been affected in Nepal.

International aid agencies said thousands of villages have been cut off by flooding with people being deprived of food and clean water for days.”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/india-floods-bangladesh-nepal-deaths-millions-homeless-latest-news-updates-a7919006.html?cmpid=facebook-post

donate to:  islamic relief fund save the children* save the children - india** oxfam - south asia flood* oxfam - india**

* these go into an emergency fund ** for residents of india. otherwise you have to input passport info

edit: updated links

please add any other ways to help

that article is from 5 hours ago. to date this post, it is 8/30. your support matters /now/

someone: *taps my shoulder*

me: *reverts to my t-pose and clips through the floor*

Why do you like sharks?

he walk

He cronch

He roll

She give high fin. @lilragekitten

He gets tummy rubs

He get nose rub

He beauty

He dance

She do a triple Lutz

He slorp

This post is blessed

The dog selling hot dogs prank - Watch the video

finally a respectable merchant

i trust him

This is the kind of excellent local business that we should support with our money

I hope this dog is doing well and will be able to turn this into a franchise

my favorite thing is the look on their faces when they realize they got the correct order

so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.

Everybody go home, this is my favorite soulmate au

So you finally find your soulmate. After years of knowing that dumbledore dies and the entire franchise being ruined, you find him. You’re in the theatre, dumbledore is dead and you hear it. ‘Man I can’t believe dumbledore died’ by a guy walking right by you and in you’re rage you shout ‘You! You’re the one!’ The guy stops, looks at you, his own arm to read the words, then back at you and he says, “That’s not really how I imagined that being said”

It got better

sOMEOne is trying to outgay steven universe omg

The person who made this is after my own heart (and they can have it)

How to wake up easily in the mornings!

Okay, so I love to sleep (who doesn’t!?) buuuut I always find myself feeling tired during the day, and recently I’ve come up with a couple of things to do to help myself (and now, others) sleep better, feel less tired and wake up more easily!

1. Get. Enough. Sleep. 

I know so many people who complain about being tired and it’s almost always because they stay up too late the night before. What they need is a sleep schedule, a set time to go to bed every night and wake up each day. I, being a young teen who can’t function without enough sleep, usually go to bed at 11 and wake up at 8 on nights that I don’t have school, and on nights that I do, I go to bed and wake up an hour earlier. 

If you use your bed like a couch, use it to lounge around on your phone/ laptop on and do homework sitting on it, you brain gradually learns to associate it with those things. To make sure that your brain knows your bed is only for sleep: use it only for sleeping! Simple as that, yet most people (including myself) find it tricky.

2. Your bed is for sleeping and ONLY sleeping.

I have a bunk bed, so I use the bottom bunk for whatever I like (usually scrolling through tumblr or watching Netflix) and when I feel it’s time to go to bed, I leave my phone on my desk and climb onto the top bunk and go to sleep. Bringing your phone to bed only encourages you to go on it and before you know it, your battery is dead and it’s 4am. So don’t. Just put the phone down for once. Eventually your brain will learn that bed=sleep and you’ll be able to get to sleep faster at night.

3. Waking up effectively.

This can be separated into 3 main points:

This is my first original textpost, hopefully someone found it helpful? I’ll probably be making more of these in the future.