I love you
So deeply so wholly that I fear I will drown in the emotions that I feel for you. Somehow you managed to call upon every single ounce of feeling and direct it towards you. So much tenderness and joy and enchantment directed towards one person.
I wonder if you’ll welcome it
I hope this feeling isn’t what I think it is
I love you. What a scary, terrible, beautiful thing to say to someone. I know that someday this will eventually end and it hurts me to think of a time when we’ll be strangers. I’m terrified one day it’ll slip.
I love you
Count how many times we’ve spent together, just the two of us. Now delete the times where we were hooking up. Now delete the times you’ve spent it with your mind everywhere but here
Exactly.
Im just live porn for you to get off to. “Girlfriend” ha. What a joke
I don’t like the way I feel around u
To the first boy I’ve ever liked
Thank you for being so good. So steadfast and steady and warm. For being patient despite my uncertainty and inexperience. For giving me stability and grounding.
For you I will always be thankful
Something seems so unobtainable
Distant. Like there’s a wall. Act naturally? How can I when I feel like I can’t even see your face
this distance makes my heart ache
“When you were with him, I think I was jealous”
How could you tell me that so casually? My heart aches when you look at her. When you regard her with the same tenderness and kindness as you would me. But I can’t stay away. Because when you think I’m sleeping I feel you stroke my hair.
I’ll take those fleeting five seconds any day
When I'm around you my heart aches
It starts in my chest. Moves to my throat. There's a weight there, heavy enough to pull me down. Suddenly my eyes are seeking you out and I get tunnel vision. I wonder how obvious I am to those around me. Obvious to everyone but you. It's safer this way.
What's a little heartache when it means saving a friendship.
I know that he's bad for me
I know that this could potentially ruin me. He's surrounded by red tape and warning signs. But, you're worse. At least with him, I know what I'm getting into. Your soft smiles and smiley eyes are far more dangerous. How much would it hurt to let myself love you when there's so much uncertainty around how I would be received.
I'll take heartache over heartbreak any day.
There's brightness in the air
Something about the way the sun shines and the leaves look. There's tangible joy in the air and it's intoxicating. Something warm and fuzzy has taken residence in my chest and it's stronger than the chill encroaching on the outskirts of my awareness.It feels safe.
Why does that worry me?
Something changed
The painful awareness I’ve always had around you has started to fade. The constant aching in my chest has begun to lighten. Has my heart finally started to listen or have I grown so accustomed to your presence that I’ve stopped noticing what your smile does?
I hope it’s not the latter
If you just asked one more time
Everything would have spilled out. The demons simmering under the surface would have been let loose. Tears right on the verge, fallen. Every secret and emotion. I’ve never craved your comfort more. But you smiled and walked away.
You didn’t deserve to see that part of me anyways
I didn’t even realize
When did my arms go raw from clawing? When did my hands start shaking and why is the room closing in? Everything is too loud and too bright and all I want is to walk away and leave. Any second now I’m going to pass out.
Me? Oh I’m good.
When did it change
Where did your softness and caring glances go? Sweet stares and head pats replaced with quiet distance. Maybe I was content in my oblivion and this awareness was my undoing. Maybe you never felt anything for me at all.
I don’t like what I see
When is it too much
I know you like her. People asked how I knew, to me it was obvious. Your gaze changed. When she talked, something about you softened. Her laugher made you smile and you always searched her out whenever things got crowded. Your eyes always gave you away.
I would know. Mine do the same for you.
Here’s a secret
Sometimes I feel like I’ll do anything just to see you tap the brim of my hat and smile whenever I walk past. The suffocating feeling that has followed me so closely fades into comfort when I meet your eyes. Suddenly I have a new safety.
You make it too difficult to walk away
I feel like I don't know myself
SHIT. I swear I don't like you. But for some reason... Something about the way you address me with such softness and consideration makes everything feel warm and safe. Instead of tension and passion, you bring comfort and security. The lines are becoming blurrier with each smile you send my way. WHY WHY WHY WHY.
I promised myself I wouldn't do this
