Listen, despite my severe aversion to romance , I tried, I tried reading it, and plus point for author, it wasn't hard cause there's barely any mention in first two books. Learning that two characters with 10 year age gap gonna marry, especially when I like them better as friends, especially when I was literally praying author won't go in that direction. Can't read it man!

I love hadrian and Arista, doesn't mean I want to read them as couples, fuck no please. That's what I hate about romance. I have no doubt author gonna do good job with them, cause whole writing is good, just not for me. I don't like 10 year age gaps, max I can go is 5 years that too in dire circumstances, 3 is preferable, 2 is better. But not 10 years fuck no.

oh I'm trying, I'm trying so so hard to read a book that contains romance, even little but damn you author for hardening my resolve against it with your story where this person was so worried about his love(for right reasons, I must admit, quite caring and endearing as well) that he and his partner got caught and even in prision he was thinking bout her( again, so caring, quite lovely just not for me).

Like objectively I recognize when the story is well written and this one is, that's not a problem, I'm just so averse to romance these days that I'm unable to even read good ones. And bloody ficking sadly, every book has romance, legit every single one. Atp I'm gonna stop reading I'm telling y'all.

okay no, very rarely I like to read about some couple, there are so few that sometimes even I'm astounded. And mostly they're just old ships( or new in Ned and Cat's case lol) even I don't understand why I don't like it, especially good ones. I want to like it, and objectively I do, I recognize that this ship is good, I don't have any problem reading about them, but I'm not seeking them constantly. Remain in bg please.

One day, one day I'd like to read books where there's romance and my first reaction isn't, "oh Gods, not again!"

Reading this one, I had to force myself to not hit stop button(audiobook) cause the book is good, even the couple is good, I like both of the characters quite mature and good, perfect in every way, just not for me like fucking why? Bish if you know they're perfect the why so much aversion, I'd never get this😭

It's hilarious how I've read so many books but I've yet to venture into Ships related books, in English language (translated or otherwise) I've read few stories in my mother tongue but not a single in English, conditions are so bad I drop the book the moment I come across some unheard ship related word.

And to make matters bad I've yet to Google all those words, I know the meanings of only few words, but not enough to read a whole book with plot happening on ship, it's funny and shame at the same time. I'm not even trying lol.

I'm reading the house in the cerulean Sea rn and I've guessed Your Secret Arthur Parnassus (laughing maniacally)

Okay but jokes aside, I'm feeling quite giggly for guessing it cause every single time I'd start reading a fantasy, all the important things are already spoiled and while yes I did spoil this one myself but it was easy and I didn't know beforehand. Plus point in my book.

Such a wonderful book tho, just what you need after reading grimdark, sus books. So much so I was doubting every character.

𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘒𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯!

my spotify is messing with me, like how tf it's playing exact song related to feels/trope I'm reading bout? 😭😭

Just now i was reading an "Everyone's forgotten bout Protagonist " And it started playing "do you think I've forgotten bout you" Kill me rn cause it's just one example 😭😭

Just to sit there and stare at your face like I don't need any permission/ I just want to look at you/ count the lines around your lips and around your eyes/ all the fading scars and fading lines/Touch you not by my hands but through my eyes.

I was feeling bored so I decided to search all good fantasies with excessive romance and then dumped all of them into a blackhole. Nope babe, ain't gonna read same ol one boy one girl making out, while world is falling all around them, now, if it'd tragic then I'm all in!

No but honestly tho, there are so many old epic fantasy series I wanna read, instead I'm just putting all of them in a blackhole(name of my Goodreads "not gonna read" section lmao) mainly because of romance factor. I'm so so fucking tired of seeing same old shiz. I'm sick of romantic love.

She loved khal drogo, named her dragon after him(which btw wtf no) enjoyed when he talked about raping westerosi women and taking children as slaves and then she went on killing "others" Because they were slavers, keeps jorah Mormont with her even though he was exiled because they caught him selling slaves but then exiles him the moment she learns of him spying on her! Oh man such a hypocrite, such a fucking hypocrite!

Reading an underrated, less known book is such a hard thing to do because you've no one with whom you can discuss things, chapter by chapter, every character. Ahhh whyy

I hate lizards man, I'm afraid of them I don't like them and my parents don't understand, if they're far away I can tolerate them but one just came near my bed and nobody takes this phobia seriously, treat it as a joke, I don't like them, I feel like crying it's so irritating

Gods but somebody should help me understand why I hate merlin so much, I truly have no idea, and it's not even hatred, it's apathy, it's indifference to anything happening to him...

And I don't understand, I think it's quite simple, I should move on and forget about the show but Idc about show, I want to understand why I'm so disinterested in a character's plight, I used to love.

For some time I thought it was just me hating all the main characters, but I tried analyse my own feelings and, just no, I don't, I love other of my fav main characters, some of them I love too much even. It's just merlin... And I've no idea how this happened.

here's the thing tho, I love happy Merlin, but I hate when it's well "merlin whump" Ig? Idk man and I'm so confused.

Gods but I need to find another fandom if I really want to waste so much of my time reading fanfics...you can't read fanfics in a fandom where you're unable to invest yourself in main character, especially their plights and fights and whatever..

ugh that's why I hate writing 😭😭

So many ideas and it's so fuckin hard to finish it in given time. Especially if you want to write something good and I'm unable to focus for long😭

I think, I need to sit down, hard, forget about every ficking thing out there and finish all my projects, cause wtf I'm even doing, there are so many unfinished poems and essays I need to finish, wtf man! And book reviews, oh God, I need to finish them😭😭

Gods! Gods!Gods! I need to take a break from tumblr, anyone who follows me here gonna think I'm such a lunatic, full of hate, wretched person! I'm too frustrated these days and no way of solving it

have already switched off my whatsapp and insta, so connection with friends as well( I want to keep it that way for some time)

Twitter is the only place where they already know I'm weird so I can keep it ig