"Why."
Pain clouds his face. It's a mirror of his own. Still he asks again.
"Why are you crying, Dean?"
A broken sound comes from the trembling man, chest heaving short and labored. Dean Winchester crumples on the ground with shoulder sagging in defeat, his face holding extreme anguish the angel never thought he'd see again.
Like Dean is breaking from the inside and out slowly. Like Dean is in hell again.
The angel's eyes widen further as Dean tries to stand with head hung, cradling his own body like he's falling apart but failed the attempt and end up staggering back on the floor.
"Dean-"
"You're a real s-son of a bitch, Cas." he chokes glaring up with brilliant green eyes unfocused, brimming with tears. His cheeks are red, his eyes full of pain and fire its unimaginable how he can hold both. But it's Dean.
His Dean in pain.
A piece of the angel dies. But he is already dead, is he not? His throat dries, his voice raspy.
"...but why do you cry? I'm the one who wanted to save Jack. I'm the one who will go to the Empty... And Chuck's gone. Why...?" he swallows hard, intent eyes not leaving his friend.
Nedles prickle his heart, relentlessy.
Something about the way Dean holds his body like he is afraid of falling from a steep creek and drown on the stormy waves below, something about the way his head sways from side to side like he wants out and begging to be a way.
Something about the way he looks in agony that Cas can't help taking a step forward longingly wanting to heal, to touch, to hold Dean so he wouldn't break.
"Selfish bastard..." Dean bows his head, tears streaming down to his lap. Castiel shakes his head with a gap forming in his chest.
"It's what I needed to do... " his voice doesn't belong to him but he wants to hold Dean so bad he risks another step but Dean sways as he stands up, Castiel stops. He wants to hold him but he can't. He knows he can't.
He watches helplessly as Dean pushes himself on the wall, tears still flowing, his anguish endless. And the only solace he can give him-
"I'm sorry, Dean... Please, stop now... I did this on my own will.... I didn't... You're not supposed to be like this..."
"You're a son of a bitch." Dean presses his forehead on the wall, shutting his eyes so tears flow, his ache burning. He is desperately trying to control the shaking of his whole body, ready to break.
"I hope you're happy now."
It drains the color on the angel's face as Dean clutches his stomach like too much pain would make him collapse any moment. Like he's in so much unbearable pain, he couldn't even turn away properly without the support of the wall.
Like he's slowly dying. He watches with mouth open as Dean walks away, head hung, shoulders sagging, walking alone to the shadows where Castiel fears Dean might never move on.
And it hits Castiel just how it's not him who gets punished in the end.
He whirls at the Entity, shaking with rage.
"I thought you're going to take me! Why am I still here?" someone Dean can't see.
The Entity leans on the wall, languid and blank. "No, no. This is just the beginning. I just took away the corporal body I gave you with the new coat. But you're consciousness is awake for eternity. How about spend a year of it watching your beloved slowly die?"
"A year?" his voice barely audible as he watches the Being shake his head.
"He won't make it. That's the End."
"No." Castiel looks at Dean. He never thought how painful "watching over him" can rattle him to the core. "No."