Charlie, knocking on Dean’s door: Y’all fuckin?
Cas: Yeah.
Dean, wrapped in a blanket burrito on top of Cas: Fuckin sad.
Charlie: Power outages are homophobic.
Dean: Elaborate.
Charlie: I’m gay and they are inconveniencing me.
Charlie: Just try some light flirting. You know, be subtle.
Dean: Ok, I can do that.
Dean: Hey Cas, high five!
Cas: *high fives Dean*
Dean: *interlaces their fingers*
Dean: Marry me.
Charlie: Wow I can’t believe you guys broke the bed. Must have been a crazy night!
[last night]
Cas: I bet you can’t jump and touch the ceiling.
Dean: Fucking watch me.
Dean: Alright, give me your hair dryer.
Charlie: What?
Eileen: What are you talking about?
Dean: Your hair dryer, don’t you carry one with you?
Charlie: Have you ever met a human woman?
Dean: *speed dials Rowena*
Dean: Hey do you keep a hair dryer on you?
Rowena, on the other end: Of course, I’m not an animal.
Charlie: I’m quick at math.
Kevin: Okay, what’s 29 x 63?
Charlie: 37.
Kevin: What? That’s not even remotely close.
Charlie: But it was quick.
Dean: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Dean: Cas was understandably upset, but Charlie and I were drunk and we thought it was hilarious.
Dean: *walks up to Benny and grabs his hand* This line is crazy!
Benny: Uh... Hello.
Dean: *looks at Benny* You’re not my boyfriend.
Cas: You’re holding the wrong hand, Dean.
Dean: You sure?
Cas & Benny: *nodding* We’re sure.
Dean: I feel compelled to finish this Starbucks experience with you.
Benny: I’m not paying for you.
Dean: Nevermind, I’m going back to my boyfriend.
Cas: I’m not paying for you either.
Charlie: *at the front of the line* Come hold my hand, man. I’ll buy you anything you want.
Dean: *goes to hold Charlie’s hand* A least someone cares about me.
Dean, entering the room: ‘Sup heteros.
Charlie: *spitting out her water, extremely offended* Bitch what the FUCK did you just call me?
Charlie: Look, I might not have been a saint, but it’s not like I killed anybody. I wasn’t an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Dean: Okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
Charlie: What's the worst decision you've made while you were drunk?
Dean: Don't mean to brag but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.