I've been thinking about the "it's not that autistic people don't know how to communicate, it's that we communicate differently" statement. True. Very true. 100% agreed. Absolutely and totally valid. But, hear me out: communication is also highly culture dependent.

In the USA, my being direct, literal, honest, frank, answering what I'm asked, and speaking what I'm thinking, is often considered "rude" and "mean". In Germany, it's neutral, appropriate even. In China, I'm being nice because I'm not actually insulting anyone.

Example: "Does this dress make me look fat" when it actually does.

USA: "Of course not! You look great!"

Germany: "Yes."

China: "It makes your ass look as big as the Yellow River."

Another example: "How are you?"

USA: "I'm very well, thank you!"

Germany: "I have diarrhea."

China: "I need to go shit my brains out for the eighth time, you idiot, go away."

Meanwhile in Japan, there's a scene in a drama that is definitely commentary on communication in which they debate how to handle squeezing lemon on a serving platter of chicken. It goes something like:

Person A: wait you shouldn't just squeeze lemon on the chicken! Not everyone likes lemon on chicken

Person B: what? Everyone likes it

Person C: no A is right, not everyone does and you shouldn't assume

Person D: then just ask - does everyone like lemon on chicken?

Person C: no you can't ask, because then it puts ppl on the spot and they might feel like they have to hold back from saying no

Person B: so what the heck am I supposed to do???

*person A and C decide to act out what they think is proper procedure. They don't know each other well and don't use any words to communicate what they think is best, they just go straight to acting it out*

Person A: oh, I see there is lemon

Person C: you're right, there is lemon.

*both turn towards person B, concluding the "demonstration"*

I have this issue sometimes so I will add a note

5. Try mindfulness exercises. You can find some online easily, and you can do them during down time whether you have 2 or 15 minutes. The point of them is not to be super focused, but to learn how to refocus your attention when you realize it has wandered. Whenever you realize it, you just gently redirect your attention to what you were focusing on. It doesn't matter how many times you have to refocus, it just matters that you realize it at some point and refocus.

You will find that with practice, you will notice when you do stray more quickly, and it will be easier to extend the time you allot for these exercises.

I definitely have issues with this. My skill in seeing spirits with my mind's eye depends very much on if im concentrating and trying to visualize. This inevitably creates issues with whether Im just daydreaming a "puppet" that looks like them and acts like them or if it's really a spirit friend.

One thing that helps me a lot is calling them and then waiting to feel their energy. This works for me because I get physical sensations (with my spirit companions they are in specific places and distinct), whether tingling, warmth, or buzzing. So when I feel those sensations, I know they're there.

Sometimes I imagine/see one spirit potentially doing several different things at once, and I'm not sure which is happening. So another thing that helps me is asking myself yes or no questions about what they're doing. Like "are they sitting over here? Are they flying? Are they lying down?". Usually one will feel right and I'll check by looking at the other questions and they usually feel off somehow.

differentiating reality from imagination

we all have moments where we wonder whether we’re talking to ourselves or to an actual spirit, moments where we second-guess ourselves. here’s a method i’ve been using to separate the two:

in the middle of the conversation, try to make the spirit you’re talking to say/do something absolutely ridiculous that you know they won’t do using only your thoughts. if they do as you think immediately, then it’s imagination. if you continue your conversation with them and/or they reprimand you, then it’s real.

other signs i’ve noticed when a spirit is real:

Additional point: - you may feel physical sensations when talking to them

As a medicated mentally ill person, my meds have no negative impact on my communication with my spirit companion. I would argue they help.

Spirits, or your imagination?

I get asked this A LOT: “How do I know if I am astral traveling/talking to spirits or if it is just in my imagination?”

Well, I think my opinion may be somewhat controversial. Because to me, there isn’t a lot of difference.

I’m NOT saying that talking to spirits is the same thing as imagining them!

Rather, I’m saying that our imaginations are so inherently magical, that there basically is no difference between our imaginations and true magic. And that is why discernment is so hard.

If our imaginations were totally mundane, it would be incredibly easy to differentiate between spirit conversations and our mind. Because the spirits would be so magical, and so different, that it would be so easy to tell the difference between spirits and our imagination.

The problem arises because our imaginations are so magical that there is hardly any difference between imagination and magical contact, because, well, imagining things is active and powerful magic.

I hope this makes sense so far!

So we have a powerful, magical imagination that is creating realities basically every moment of every day. And some of us have wildly powerful imaginations that can almost replace our physical reality through a process we humbly call “daydreaming.” Through this process of daydreaming we create voices that speak to us, and characters that interact with us. And it does feel a certain way, it has a distinct “pure-creation” feel to it.

Then along comes a regular ol’ spirit that we want to reach out to. And let’s assume you have never had psychic spirit contact before. So you have this powerful imagination that is used to running wild and creating all sorts of vivid things for you to interact with. And now a quiet little voice pops up in your imagination that is not “pure-creation.”

Let’s pause here and take a look at the problem. This spirit voice appears in your imagination. But we have been very, very thoroughly trained and brainwashed to believe everything in the imagination is “made up.” So your brain immediately stamps this voice as FAKE. Made-up. Imagined. As if what you imagine isn’t real in the first place! But never mind that.

The real question is, how do you discern between your powerful imagination and these quiet voices from external sources? The only real way is practice. Lots and lots of practice. Meditation helps, as is any method where you learn to control and contain and quiet your active imagination-mind. The more you can quiet your mind, the easier it is for voices to come through. There is a difference between “pure-creation” feelings and “external spirit” feelings, but it is hard because they do feel really similarly. And you can discern between them with practice.

The plain truth is that sooner or later you’re just going to have to decide that these voices are either external, or they’re not. You are going to have to place your belief in the spirit world and say, “yep, I am receiving real messages.” Don’t be alarmed if you don’t get crystal clear words and messages straight away – that is a rare talent. You are learning a whole new language, and that takes time. You are learning the language of spirits and yes, it does take time and training. Imagine not being able to speak a country’s language, so you label that whole country as imaginary just because you can’t receive clear messages from them.

To summarize, spirit messages are so hard to tell from imagination because they are both highly magical and very highly related. You can tell the difference between them through effort and practice, and of course a patient spirit friend who is eager to help you out.

As a person who just recently started speaking with a spirit friend, a lot of this is quite true and helpful. I have only just started to differentiate some of what is in my imagination, and what is from my external friend. For me, this usually takes the form of physical sensations when I am connected to this friend and am actively seeking out conversation.

I still have trouble understanding/hearing my friend, but since about a month in, I at least can feel energies she sends me and when it’s her. It took me some time to get here, though. It’s been about 2 months already of consistent contact, and like I said, I still can’t understand what she’s saying most of the time. I simply feel or “see” that she is speaking with me.

breaking down barriers: a love spell for healthy communication

sometimes it feels like we’re stuck in a rut in our relationships, like there’s something that needs saying but no one is saying it. that’s where this spell comes in handy! the intention behind this spell is to break down the barriers that are keeping open and honest communication from happening between two people in a relationship and (hopefully) cause them to become closer. though it was designed specifically for romantic love, this spell can also be used for friendships, family ties, or other forms of platonic love. DO NOT cast this spell if you aren’t prepared for what might come to light as a result!

MATERIALS:

DIRECTIONS:

TIP: if you have any incense lying around, burn it while you are working this spell to give it an extra “boost” since air is an element that is strongly associated with communication (due to the fact that it carries things from one place to another). vanilla, jasmine, and rose are a few that i would recommend to focus on the ~love~ aspect of this spell

In-depth psychic communication guide for spirit contact

This guide is for adults only.

I am an animist so I believe nearly everything has a spirit. Your house has a spirit; so do your pets, and your plants. The well-used family pots and pans have spirits, as do your lucky jeans. Communicating with inanimate objects is known as psychometry (psychometry is specifically touching something to gain information about it). But I see no problem with expanding that word to mean communication with all inanimate objects. In this guide, ‘inanimate’ means something organically dead, even if it has a living spirit.

This guide is about “psychic” communication, which means without tools. The communication will exist in your mind. In my opinion this is a very good form of communication for any magic-worker to develop, for a couple reasons.

First, let me explain fully what I mean when I say this communication will exist “within your mind”.

We all know of people who see and hear spirits as if the spirits were three-dimensional, flesh-and-blood beings. This is rare. You shouldn’t be particularly jealous of these people, either. I’ve never met a person (so far) who was happy about having these gifts. As someone who occasionally sees things with their two-eyes, it is a scary and intimidating experience.

For the majority of us magical normies, we are going to experience spirits within the platform of our imagination.

This may be disappointing to you. Who wants to feel as if they are just 'imagining’ spirits? Yet our imagination is the platform for all magic. Beings who cannot imagine another reality cannot create that other reality. Our imagination is an incredible magical power, giving us the ability to connect with other realities. Get over the idea that what you imagine is just “in your mind.” It is not.

It is also uncommon for a person to hear, see, or imagine actual words in their own spoken language. Spirits are much more likely to communicate empathetically, by giving us feelings, thoughts, or emotions. They may also use gestures and actions, which we will see when we view them in our minds. This may sound very obscure, but it is not. It is very easy to tell when a spirit is happy or angry, wants to leave, wants to stay, or wants you to follow them. Even the appearance of the spirit itself will communicate something to you. How do they present themselves? Do you believe the form they take?

This guide is going to be primarily written for communicating with inanimate or organic spirits, but the same concepts may be applied to working with non-physical spirits.

Other Notes

It is pretty important that you get to know yourself. If you are serious about spirit work, it is vital that you know yourself. This means that you are able to understand where your thoughts come from, and identify if a thought is or is not yours. For example, I was doing an important spell yesterday. I suddenly got quite a bad feeling. However, I was able to identify that it was a spirit within my circle giving me a warning, instead of an internal anxiety. If I had not known this, I may have shut this important spell down totally instead of identifying the warning for what it was.

Get relatively good at clearing your mind. Do this through meditation. Strive to achieve a state of clear-mindnedness for a few seconds at a time, on command.

This method may be safer than communicating with unknown spirits you call through the aether.

After you psychically connect with a spirit, you may continue getting information from that spirit for some time.

Marijuana can vastly help this process along. If you don’t prefer that mental high, try another psychic plant instead. Make tea or smoke the herbs.

Getting Started with the Bump

Find something you just know has a spirit. I would really recommend a plant. It could be a houseplant or a tree or anything. If you are absolutely of the mind that an inanimate object has a spirit, get in touch with that instead. Right now avoid animals and humans. They are a little more difficult to read, and your mental probing could bother Fido. For this exercise I will assume we are using a plant.

Regard the plant casually, and bump your mind against it. When I say “bump” your mind, I just mean to consider the plant intensely for a few moments, then let your focus fade. Do you get any feelings? Any sensations? Do you have any memories that come to you? All these things are good. The feelings may be quite obvious; when I “bump” my Apricot tree, I experience the memory of how apricots taste.

Try “bumping” things often and see if you get any response. If your mind is totally blank, no worries; the “bump” will come with time. Or, perhaps you have your own unique way of interacting with spirits! Experiment and see what works for you. There is also a chance that whatever you are trying to bump has no spirit, such as an inanimate object you wrongly identified as being inspirited.

If you do happen to have any experiences when you bump the plant, remember them for your upcoming communication. Suppose you have bad, good, or neutral experiences; all these will tell you the current state or mood of the plant. When I bump the Redwood trees in my yard, typically they make me think of healthy, strong, powerful plants. Today when I bumped them, I was reminded of the oracle card Struggle and I felt like they were warriors losing a battle (the drought here is killing most of our evergreens). I also got a strained emotional feeling. These feelings give me an accurate picture of the state of the Redwood trees.

Try finding three different objects right now and bumping them. See what happens! It is quite alright if you feel you are just having normal memories; spirit communication is in fact quite normal in many ways.

The “bump” is a good way to start and practice spirit communication.

The bump works because all humans are natural spirit-workers to some degree. When you focus on something, you are contacting it’s spirit. You just have to pay attention to what comes to you, and recognize it for what it is: real communication. If the bump simply is not working for you, try using tools to help. Meditate with psychic stones, burn a little psychic incense, or create a ring that you look through which opens up a portal of access.

Going further; back-and-forth communication

Once you have the bump down, continue on to the next step (if the bump isn’t working for you after a couple days of attempts, move on anyways. It will not hurt).

When you bump the plant, you are receiving active communication from it, even if this communication is in the form of memories. Try bumping a plant, then while you are having your bump-experiences, ask it a question that will cause your perceptions to change. For example, do not ask, “how are you doing?” because you are already finding out how they are doing with the bump. Vocally or mentally, try asking one of the following example questions.

In general, it is polite to avoid asking questions which would upset the plant. “Do you want to be chopped up in to little pieces and eaten” is not an appropriate question to a plant, just as it would not be appropriate to another human.

After you ask the question, allow your mind to unfocus and see what comes to you. When I ask most of my trees about water, I see dried deserts. This is a clear sign that they are parched; unfortunately there is not a lot I can do. Just now I asked a house plant about water and it showed me a swampy marsh with vibrant green foliage. It is well-watered.

Sometimes, especially with trees, you may see a human figure in your imagination. This is quite normal. Carefully try to remember how the spirit of that plant looks to you. If you are interested in this, try researching tree lore for your culture. The plant spirits should express the lore of the tree.

It is your job to interpret the images and feelings you get in to communication. This may be difficult at the start, but you will get the hang of it. For example I just asked that same houseplant if it would like any food. It showed me a flat surface with an indent in it about three inches deep. I interpret this to mean the plant would like more food – because it showed me a hole that needed to be filled.

On that note, asking other spirit-workers to help you interpret your visions may or may not work. Your brain is interpreting the spirit-signals given to you, and therefore it is uniquely and intimately personal to you. I have seen very fascinating and thought-inducing discussions when people ask others to help interpret their communications, but typically, all the ideas are wildly different. One person may see the marsh and assume the plant has had too much water. Another person will say, “your plant doesn’t care about water, it wants to be planted in the wild.” It is ultimately up to you to interpret what is going on.

After you have spoken to the plant and received a response, try touching the plant gently and see what comes to you. Or, try moving it in to the sun or shade and see what the plant thinks.

Animals and humans

Contacting animal spirits works much in the same way as plant spirits. I have noticed that the spirit of the human or animal will respond, even if they consciously do not seem to be aware of it at all.

Just now I “asked” my dog three questions: “How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty?” I received first feelings of boredom and hyperactivity, then feelings of satiation, then a vivid aqua blue color which I interpreted to mean, “I have had lots of water recently.” Yet my dog did not stop to look at me, or act as if something was intruding upon her spirit. She kept playing as usual. Just now I had to discipline her for jumping on the table, and now she feels sad.

One pretty neat thing about bumping humans is that you can get really strange responses. Humans are unlike any other creature we know; we can be closed off. We can open up. We can cast spells. Get a group of magic-worker friends. Bump each other and share what you find. You may be bumping up against a person’s shields or personal spells!

Practical communication

Communicate with your magical objects to determine their effects and charge. Communicate with anything to see if it is dangerous, if you need to avoid it, or if it is okay to approach. Communicate with curious objects at thrift stores to find out its history. Communicate with your plants to see how they are doing and make sure they have what they need.

Learn to communicate with abstract concepts and natural phenomena. Communicate with your house, the land, and the weather. Communicate with the spirit of wealth and prosperity in your home. Give it offerings. Make friends with it.

When something is wrong with a loved one, an object, or a spell, communicate with it first to see what is wrong. Then take the appropriate steps to help remedy the situation.

Final note

This technique is obviously not going to work for 100% of all people. There are just too many confounding variables. Some people have really huge and heavy blockages that prevent them from psychic communication, often built themselves after scary experiences. If this technique does not seem to work at all for you, send me a message and we will troubleshoot.

Questions to ask your spirit friends

This post was written by Thicket, Rosemary, Tom, and Alexandria.

Questions for all spirits

How are you?

By what name may I call you, if you wish to give me one?

What offerings do you enjoy? How often do you need them? (This does not mean you must give offerings as often as a spirit requests. Do things on your own terms)

What is your true nature?

What laws do you obey?

Do you live near me?

Why did you answer my call today? (alternatively: Why are you here?)

How do you manifest to me? (Visions, sensations, light orbs, etc)

What do you like to do for fun? What are your pastimes?

What is your preferred method of communication? (Psychic, tarot, runes, other systems)

Is your spirit home comfortable?

Questions for guardians

Is there any danger to me at this time?

What is your normal method of protecting me? (Magic, brute force, cunning)

Are you able to do your job alone? (Be careful, some spirits may find this question to be insulting)

How may I assist you in keeping me safe?

Would you like a thoughtform to aid you in your task?

How are my wards and shields?

In what area are my defenses lacking?

Is there any pitfall or dangerous situation I am getting close to?

Who do I need to be careful of at this time?

Do you require any healing?

What problems can we take care of together?

Alexandria says: “What attacks are necessary at this time?”

Tom says: “Do not listen to Alexandria, be careful when engaging the enemy directly.”

Questions for guides

What form are you most comfortable in?

Tom and Alexandria say: “This is mostly for human curiosity and does not really matter.” Thicket disagrees; the form a creature can take can communicate very valuable information to the practitioner.

What do you think about the direction I am going in?

What paths are available to me right now?

Tom says: “Do not agonize over the future.” I think this is personal advice and not really a question.

What am I doing right now that could be dangeous?

What advice do you have for me? (Tom and Alexandria feel this is an excellent question)

What do you feel the outcomes are for this situation? Tom and Alexandria warn you to not be constrained by the limited futures a guide can show you.

How can I improve my life right now?

How can I aid you in your goals of guiding and directing me to a more secure life?

What is your goal for my life?

How long have you been with me? (Tom and Alexandria doubt the usefulness of this question, especially Tom. They communicate that this has no real bearing on a spirit’s ability to do it’s job – Thicket again disagrees)

What situations should I contact you about? (Serious, casual, everyday, rare)

Questions for helpers and servants

How are you able to assist me?

How am I able to assist you?

Are you able to carry out the tasks I have given you?

What is preventing you from carrying out these tasks, if anything?

What is your favorite task to complete?

What do you get out of helping me?

Do you require energy or recharging at this time?

What do you need in order to carry out your tasks?

Do you need a period of rest? Is it regularly required?

Have you discovered anything important that you need to share with me?

Questions for companions and friends

How are you feeling today?

Is everything comfortable for you?

Do you feel you are receiving enough attention from me lately?

Is there anything you would like to talk about?

Tell me about your day. (Tom especially likes this question; Alexandria is fond of it).

What can I get for you right now?

Are you pleased with your spirit home? Does it require upkeep?

What have you been up to lately?

Have any of your preferences changed? (Alexandria likes this question a lot)

What can I bring you as a special gift some time soon?

Is there any place you would like to travel to soon?

Am I doing anything lately that is bothering you?

How are you getting along with my spirit family?

Do you still enjoy the offerings you are receiving?

Other Notes

Some spirits appreciate being chattered to all day long, just like a close friend. Other spirits prefer to be contacted only when a serious matter arises, or even not at all. When greeting a new spirit, ask them how much they would like to communicate in general.

Do not directly ask for names. Names are serious business in the spirit world! Instead ask, “by what name may I call you,” indicating you are not searching for a true name. Tom feels that even these given names should be kept somewhat secret, and another nickname used to communicate about this spirit to humans. Alexandria somewhat agrees. Do not be offended or worried if a spirit refuses to give you any sort of name at all.

Do not confuse offerings with worship. Offerings are more like gifts – literally, you are just “offering” something to a spirit. A cup of coffee, a shot of liquor, some food, or even a nice glass of water makes a good gift. Just as you would offer snacks and beverages to any guest in your home, politely offer spirits something just to be a gracious host.

Avoid asking questions that give spirits leverage over you. “How do you feel about me?” is a question asked primarily by insecure people. Tom thinks this is harsh. Alexandria thinks this is correct. Some of these questions you may feel are somewhat unavoidable in companionship relationships. Let me encourage you to just be careful.

Tom wishes to leave a final note: “Always be careful. Spirits are not always what they seem.”

So cuttlefish have some kind of rudimentary(?) language that has a gestural component. Or, if you don’t want to call it language, they communicate with each other, in part, through gesturing with their arms. (Not sure how a consistent system of signs isn’t a language but I’m not a linguist). Anyway, there is a tank of cuttlefish at the New England aquarium. Usually, the animals totally ignore the visitors. Once when I was there with a friend, the cuttlefish were signing to each other. My friend held his hand up to the glass and began to imitate their gestures with his fingers, and then made a sequence of random signs.  The cuttlefish became extremely agitated and signed furiously at him and rapidly flashed different colors, and we will never know what he accidentally said to them.  The moral of this story is actually that it’s fucked up how we keep sentient and sensitive beings in a weird little fish jail. 

After knowing a few different swan families for two years, we learned some of the sign language they use for “Hello friend! (You know me)” and “Sorry.” Their vocalizations are a little difficult to mimic, but “Hello friend!” and “sorry” are gestures done with the head. There’s also “Hey! Hey! (come start a fight)” which, in a human, involves hands and arms. You can actually get into a feedback loop saying “Hello friend” to friendly swans that actually know you, where you say it and then they get excited and say it back, and then you say it again and they feel like they have to respond. And if you meet a strange swan and they behave aggressively towards you, you can get them to calm down and even say “sorry” by telling them that you know them. This is often easy to lie to them about, since swans think all humans look very similar. 

Anyway! It is extremely funny because when humans walking outside encounter a swan, the humans often say “Hey! Hey!” in Swan, and when the swan puffs up and says “Excuse me?” the human says “Come start a fight!” and the swan, particularly if it’s defending a nest, is like “Fine. Okay. I’ll end this.”

And then the human complains that swans are awfully Hostile and Aggressive.

/linguist mode on/ sticking my nose in briefly to say that a consistent system of signs used for communication is definitely a language /linguist mode off/

The Animal Communication Tarot Spread by booksandtails

Animals are wonderfully expressive creatures, and as much as we can research each and every nuance of expression they have it’s sometimes still very hard to decipher what it is they are trying to tell us. This spread looks to help human and animal friend communicate. Good for new animal friends you are trying to understand better.

Card 1: You. This is what the animal views you as right now. Who are you to them and what have you been representing to them. 

Card 2: The Animal. This is how they are currently viewing themselves and their current feelings.

Card 3: One thing your animal would like you to acknowledge about yourself.

Card 4: One thing the animal would like you to acknowledge about your relationship with it.

Card 5: One thing the animal would like you to know about its intended future relationship with you.

Card 6: What the animal’s hope going forward is.