So, tell me a story

What's been up with you?

Yeah, I'm friends with most of you fuckers on Facebook, but we all know that is just our representative. What's *really* going on?

Hey.

Sup?

Other than that sadness

How are you guys? I do miss you, even if I don't act like it.

Discodroid

We lost Rob this week and it breaks my heart.

He was as weird as the day is long...and we clicked like crazy. He used to send me messages all the time, rambling about this or that. Sometimes coherently, often not. But they pretty much always had a song recommendation. The songs were always on point.

He was a good man and the world is a bit less strange without him.

Culpability

It's one of the hardest words in the English language to assign to yourself.

To say that, yes, I did make a choice and that choice got me into a really shitty place is difficult. "I didn't *really* know" or "I thought this was different and okay" are typically the excuses we give ourselves.

We are always the good guy in our own narrative, even when we're talking about our mistakes. Because we see our intent. "I didn't mean to."

Of course you didn't. Very few people mean to end up in an uncomfortable, awful, situation. And that's okay. We've literally all been there. That's how we grow as a person. We learn from our mistakes and choose not to make the same bad choices.

And before anyone jumps bad, this goes for both sides of the equation in a situation where bad desicions are knowingly being made.

Those who have been fucked over by people who had no red flags, that isn't your fault. That's just a really shitty life lesson. Sometimes people are absolute turds. But...I bet if you asked them, "they didn't mean to."

I guess what I'm saying is, be responsible for yourself. Don't knowingly put yourself in a place that you'd tell your best friend to run hard and fast from. Sometimes it happens, though. All we can do is shake it off and promise ourselves never again.

You guys have got this. This is just a chapter in an epic fucking book. Don't let it be the Cliff Notes.

It's weird

When you've been gone for a few years, you can objectively read things. "I don't care how popular you are, you're a boring try-hard", is maybe my new favorite. *unfollow*

It's a feature...

We have a light switch that, when accidentally flipped, blows a breaker and shuts off everything connected to the front of the house. It also happens to be located right beside our porch light switch. Anyway, sorry babe. I hope you've saved recently. 😶

I can't help but think

That Uncle Joe alluding to the fact that he may make a bid for the presidency is some sort of divine providence. Lauren is exacting her will now that silly restraints like a mortal body aren't standing in her way.

Hey

Do you guys remember BlowjobGate?

Two years ago, today

Lauren and Daniel came and spent the night with me and Josh. The day before was our wedding day and they came all the way from Texas to help us celebrate. Throughout the planning, that we put off until the last minute, Lauren was my unofficial wedding planner. She helped me pick everything from the dress to the shoes and reassured me that it would all be fine every time I started to get overwhelmed with the details. The day of my wedding, she was my hair stylist. She spent forever on my mop, making me look the very best she could, while all of us girls hung out in my Mamaw's bedroom laughing like loons. Lauren and I hadn't always been close. In fact, she kinda hated me for a few years. I'd call it a misunderstanding, but I was kind of being an ass...just not to her. She took it personally, though, and we ended up on each other's "fuck that bitch" list. Not actively, mind you. We were both above such petty things. ;) Fast forward a few years and we both became very close to Brad. And, Brad being Brad, united the fronts. We *finally* got the chance to talk it out. I apologized, she accepted and it was rainbows and unicorn farts thereafter. Then we lost Brad. Death is a very shitty way to get very close to others who are also grieving. She and Daniel became constants in our lives. We talked all day, every day during those first few months. We cried, laughed, made fun of people, made fun of ourselves...generally did whatever it took to keep each other's spirits up. We were each other's pillars when we weren't strong enough to hold ourselves up and I will forever be thankful that we became such good supports for each other. Anyway, I'm rambling at this point. I just wanted to share some memories that make me smile. Lauren was one hell of a lady. Smart, loyal, loving, and fierce as fuck. I feel privileged to call her my friend. Hopefully she and Brad will wait a day before they start daring each other to stick things up their bholes...but knowing them, I doubt it.

I can't stop crying.

You know

You'd think between the fifteen nurses and three doctors I saw while I was in the hospital for four days, at least ONE of them would have mentioned the potential for lava poops post gallbladder removal.

So

My heart aches

I sure hope you guys have been sending your love to Laurie. I'd link her name on here, but I can't remember it. She lost her husband, John, a few years ago. From Canada... Anyway, she lost her boy, Greer, a few days ago. I just can't imagine and have absolutely ached for her since then. She needs us.