Sometimes I can't help but think of this one college course I took where the instructor had us read this tiny bit of writing that had been found at a woman's burial site from sth like 3000-5000 years ago and I'm going to gist it bc it's been almost ten years since I read it but she said

And I was the only one who said "it sounds like she feels trapped between three things that are unsafe" bc apparently it was interpreted by the instructor to be a poem of wanderlust. It was a male TA.

“A feminist perspective recognizes that the hierarchical organizing of the world around gender is key to maintaining social order.” ― Nivedita Menon

it’s like they almost get it

They're so close....

some of the most insane mask-off comments on that tiktok (prepare for psychic damage):

“this is one of the reasons i’m non-binary. i cant handle the gender standards and stuff. i just wanna be a human, that’s it.”

“i’m a bit scared that that is the true reason i want to be nb. i’ll never be a pretty girl, but i could be a very handsome they/them”

“its bc the standards for women are so exacting and strict but nonbinary can be literally anything so as long as ur urself that is hot”

“ok so im gender fluid and i go by all pronouns and I've realized that when i don't look my best i usually go for he/him”

and my fucking favorite:

“if you feel ugly as a girl maybe it’s a sign that’s not your gender.”

all presented without a hint of self-awareness. hell world hell world hell world

also why the fuck is this completely nice looking woman calling herself ugly?? because she doesn’t look like an insta baddie/kardashian clone? HELL WORLD

(x) “Money wives” aka culturally accepted sexual slavery of girls as young as 5-14 years in Cross Rivers State, Nigeria

Everywhere you look, you see countless ways of men being cruel and evil towards girls and women.

Girl on a beach in Oahu, Hawaii, 1973. Photo by Nick DeWolf

I hate that I've never been able to casually connect with most women I meet because I really don't relate to all the rituals of femininity, which have become one of the main things women bond over. I'm in no way masculine, but I've always felt so out of place and unwelcome when I find myself with a group of women that start talking about makeup or fashion or anything like that. I'm not trying to belittle these women at all but the fact that beauty rituals have become a casual thing for women to bond over makes it really isolating to be a woman who doesn't do any of that. And it gets worse when people describe "girlhood" and womanhood to be about these rituals. If I believed in gender this isolating feeling would definitely make me question if I was even a woman at all, and that is kinda tragic. I feel like the fight against gender roles is moving backwards.

One of the most harmful parts of girlhood is how we learn to use our bodies as currency.

Small smiles, clasped hands, and batted eyes gain us capital. We’re rewarded. We are allowed a snack or extra time outside if we agree to hug our caretakers. Our parents promise us dessert if we allow the great aunt to kiss us on the cheek. We begin to learn. And we grow a little and then it’s touching a male classmate on the elbow to convince him to help you on a question instead of ignore you, or making downcast eyes at a male teacher to ask sweetly for the bathroom pass so you’re more likely to have your bodily functions believed.

Then we age more and it’s low cut shirts so the cashier at the theater doesn’t check to see if you’re 17, and doing sex acts with your first boyfriend before you’re ready because you know if you don’t some other girl will and you know the more you do the longer he’ll stay.

It’s seeing TV shows and movies where the female spy/superhero/Jane Doe has to seduce the villain for information/entry/survival. It’s seeing TV shows and movies where if the man pursues you long enough/the hero saves your life/the outcast proves his worth then he deserves a kiss/taken to the bedroom/your hand in marriage. It’s the good and the bad guys having access to female bodies, your body, for different reasons. Its learning that you can use your female form to reward or deny, like it’s a sweet treat and not the thing you reside in, you yourself.

And this mentality, this commodification of our physical selves, its damaging. It warps how we view ourselves and our interactions with the world. It puts a “for sale” sign on us, and it says we can be bought, and we are left scrambling to set the price.

It's crazy seeing how it starts in cartoons aimed at children. With teenage characters and even pre-teens. You just learn that your greatest power as a female person is not your mind, your strength, your will, not even your compassion, but your body. The one thing women have that men don't is a female body, and so that's the "feminine" advantage. "Feminine wiles" means bartering your sexuality.

Even things that are non-sexual like batting your eyes and pursing your lips... little boys grow out of that quickly because 'cuteness' isn't valued for them. It doesn't do an older boy or a teenage boy much to play into being 'cute' because that's not what male people are expected to be valued for. But 'cuteness' and 'sexiness' are desired in female people.

Anyway watch the video, it's short but got some good examples. I'm sure there's an endless list of examples of female people in cartoons and other children's media using their body to get what they need.

I’m going to die today

if you know literally the bare minimum about baking and cooking you would know that it's the direct opposite of what this person said in terms of like traditional gendered traits. baking is the heavy lifting one, cooking is the delicate subtle one. male chefs are constantly overcompensating because cooking is feminine. male bakers are consistently ripped and have nothing to prove. like

Why is it so important to so many people to gender everything? Do Natasha and Sierra Metzger lack the verbal intelligence and knowledge to come up with more profound or witty observations about cooking and baking? Are they so conceptually impoverished that the only language they have to compare and contrast things is "masculine" and "feminine"? How can we call these people out not just for their brazen sexism and historical ignorance, but for their utter lack of creativity and dull reliance on one of the most overdone binary comparisons in all of human history?

i am really losing it over the take of “women can’t understand the genre where the characters say the themes of the story out loud to each other constantly”

the sheer emotional depth and complexity of superhero cartoons for little children

As a lifelong-fan of shonen anime and also a woman, I’ve made a little diagram of my experiences in their fandoms:

This is another example of projection. Men are the ones who join hobbies to meet women. Men start playing instruments, writing poetry, and going to ballet classes with the purpose of meeting women and appearing sexually attractive to them. This is common advice to straight men who want to meet women - find female dominated classes/hobbies and join them. Find hobbies women think are hot and join them.

Notice that despite this, men who start playing in bands to “get chicks” are never derided as fake music fans. They are instead celebrated for the music they end up making. Maybe even their horniness is celebrated in a sly “you old dog” way.

Meanwhile it is way less common for women to enter hobbies to attract men. Women don’t go to all male classes to meet men (because being the only woman is unpleasant). Straight women don’t give each other tips about joining computer clubs or shop class to find boys. When women do enter hobbies for dating, it’s more aimed at attracting a specific guy and less about “meeting men” en masse.

But none of this matters. Getting into a hobby, even for the purpose of attracting a mate, is fine, because hobbies are not sacred. If you end up enjoying it in the end, does it matter if you started it to find a boy/girl? No, not really. Picking up hobbies because of your partner/friend is normal and a common way to find new interests. This is yet another tired excuse to mock women (literally dating back to Schopenhauer) but exalt men (the Beatles started as a way to get money and girls, not for the art).