The erasure of Blackness from 'stemme' & 'stud' and why it bothers me
This is more of a vent post/social analysis then 'what is stemme 101' but to summarise stemme stands for stud-femme lesbian. A stud in basic terms is a Black lesbian with masc presentations and roles. A stemme is a Black lesbian with fem and masc presentations and roles. Stemme is a Black lesbian term but according to tiktok it's 'just being masc and fem' and 'has nothing to do with race'. And that pisses me off.
Black gender nonconformity is barely represented. There isn't a 'how to be GNC whilst Black 101' and it gets really isolating tryna figure yourself out with no one to help you. Tomboy and androgynous representation is predominantly white. Being tomboy or andro is associated with having short straight hair or a buzzcut on a white body. Black women in hip-hop and R&B helped to shape Black masculinity and femininity in pop culture. Aaliyah, Queen Latifah, Left Eye, Da Brat etc. helped shape the Black tomboy aesthetics we see today. A large chuck of queer masculinity borrows off of Black, especially Black American, masculine aesthetics. The durags, the chains, the caps, the trainers, the AAVE etc. it all goes back to hip-hop culture.
Black women aren't allowed to be masculine. We're masculinised but we can't be autonomously masculine (people don't get this distinction when this topic comes up but that's another post babes x). Despite Black women, especially darkskin Black women being called mannish and strong we don't actually get to reap the benefits of being masc. We don't get to be the positive masc traits like being smart, brave etc it's only the negatives. And this is 2x harder if you're trans. It gets really confusing as a dark-skinned Black girl excluded from femininity growing up whilst also being so feminine and girly apparently you're on the end of misogynoir. Stem(me) basically summed up my relation to gender pretty well. There was never a word for this experience growing up.
So when I go to look up stemme and it's predominantly white lesbians in snapbacks I don't get a good feeling. And when I see shit about how stem 'had nothing to do with race' I'm fuming. Even more so when people say STUD had nothing to do with Black lesbians. Huh?? Black women's representation is already lacking in most areas even for cishet Black women. But Black GNC identity is SO rare. We can't even have a niche of a niche. That's how little Black culture matters in society's eyes. 'What do we use then?' Chapstick. Tomboy. Tomboy femme. Butch. Masc. The dozens of representations that have always represented your experiences. You're gonna be fine I promise you.
The main thing that set off this vent was seeing some tiktok user make a video crediting herself for defining stem as being masc and fem and ignoring all the Black lesbians that called her out and the audacity for her to say it 'used to mean that' and that 'terms evolve' .
Taking Black lesbian terms and changing their meaning is not evolution. It is theft. Erasing Black tomboys and erasing the literal stud from stud-femme, stemme, is just continuing the erasure of Black LGBTQIA identities in a society that already doesn't want us around. Stemme has always been stud-femme and I'm gonna always honour that, even if I stop using the label for myself, even if no one else will.