Peter: in my defense, i was left unsupervised.

May: wasn’t Tony with you?

Tony: in my defense, i was left unsupervised, too.

“You know how there’s a guy, with the headset, telling the other guy where to go? Like… like if you were stuck in a burning building, I could tell you where to go, ‘cause there’d be screens all around me, I can shoot around things, I can be your guy in the chair!”

TOM JUST CALLED TONY PETER'S 'ADOPTED FATHER' ❤️❤️

tony: WHAT TEAM

everyone: TEAM IRON

peter: WILDCATS

tony: youre fired

#the joke is that hes saying that to everyone else not peter

god tier concept is Peter’s eyes glowing like a cat’s

You can wear the mask.

i’m happy that mcu peter’s spidey sense isn’t being shown as a miracle worker, like i’m happy peter’s sense went off to danger that was laughably close to peter. people have this misconception (mainly due to the 2002 spidey films) that his spidey sense will give peter a heads up to threats wayyyyy in advance, but that’s not the case. like there have been many times when peter’s spidey sense doesn’t really alert him to danger until the danger is really close, sometimes close enough that regular people have already noticed said danger.

and even then, peter often ignores it bc it can go off to things that aren’t necessarily a threat but COULD be. like a wad of paper being thrown at him by flash, a puddle on the floor that could make him slip. so sometimes peter just ignores it bc it goes off all the time to shit that really isn’t that dangerous. the sense is basically like a really reliable, and sometimes annoying, gut-feeling. the spidey sense is so cool but it’s still a sense not that different from sight or hearing or taste or touch, and it isn’t all powerful or always very helpful.

radioactive spider: look! i made a superhero!

the avengers: you fucked up a perfectly good teenager is what you did. look at him. he’s got anxiety.

I had to combine prompts cuz this was too perfect! Nerd alert

So eventually Peter gives up trying to hide the fact he’s spider-man and just starts doing stuff in school and NOBODY really cares because they think he’s faking

So one day he deadass climbs in through a fucking window and is just like “sorry I’m late” and Flash is the only one who’s shook

He’s there like “DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT PETER IS SPIDER-MAN HOLY SHIT”

But everyone is just like “yeah SURE Flash” and he’s getting so frustrated cause guys he’s ON the FUCKING CEILING

It ends up being the most chaotic vengeance bc Peter will use his web shooters and he just looks directly at Flash and is like “No one will ever believe you” and just walks away

he was sleepy but he did it for science

Imagine May Parker with little Peter not understanding how to get him to do things he didn’t want to do, and they try everything but nothing works.

Until one day May is trying to get Peter to brush his teeth and he runs out of the bathroom and sits in front of the TV where a news channel is doing an interview with Tony Stark and all of the sudden it clicks and she goes

“Ya know I bet Tony Stark brushes his teeth”

And Peter turns around all wide eyed and goes to brush his teeth as fast as he can cause he wants to be just like Tony Stark. And from them on whenever May wanted Peter to do something she would tell him Tony Stark does it and it would be done within minutes

And later May tells Tony all about this and he thinks it’s the funniest shit in the world

Always use please U.U

Peter found a loyal assistant

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)