hey lemme know why lori is so demonized by fandom ://// my girl don't deserve that shit

You probably didn’t want an essay but you’re getting it sorry fam.

The short answer? Misogyny. Sadly, this is prevalent in a LOT of fandoms where people hate female characters for reasons like “they’re bitches/whiny/sluts/stupid etc”…which 99.9% of the time means that they either:

1. Dared to have a Human Reaction to an upsetting situation instead of being a Strong Female Character Who Has No Emotions, 2. Went against the (questionable) wishes of a fandom-favorite male character, or 3. Got “in the way” of another ship

I know this has happened to characters like Laurel on Arrow and Skyler on Breaking Bad, but I’ll focus on TWD here for a minute because, while Lori is the most popular to shit on, it’s happened with a LOT of the TWD women. Let’s break it down:

Lori Grimes is called a whore for sleeping with someone who wasn’t her husband (even though she thought he was dead at the time, was in an incredibly world-shattering situation and needed comfort that Shane was willing to give, and ended things permanently as soon as Rick showed up every much alive). Called a bitch for “playing with Shane and Rick’s feelings” which…doesn’t happen? She tells Shane it’s over when her husband shows up alive and keeps it that way, rejects his advances and fights him off when he tries to rape her at the CDC. 

Despite fandom characterization, she’s an incredibly supportive wife to Rick and defends him against the people in their group that are always questioning his decisions, and stands up for him against Shane. She tries to keep the peace between them until she realizes that Shane is a threat to not just her safety, but the rest of the group’s. Yes, she’s upset when Rick confesses he killed Shane…because the group literally just had a huge fucking meeting about whether it was okay to kill a potentially dangerous stranger, and now Rick’s killed a man that he’s been friends with for most of his life. It’s a shocking, jarring thing. The rule then was “we don’t kill the living”, the apocalypse hadn’t been going on for that long, so yeah. That’s actually kind of a big deal that that happened, not just an “ok cool” moment. And you can clearly see that she tries to reconnect with him later and he doesn’t want anything to do with her because he’s wounded by the whole group and what he had to do. 

She’s called a bad mom…because Carl’s a little shit of a kid who keeps wandering off? Okay, and what about later when she’s dead and Carl keeps doing stuff like that? Is Rick a bad dad? Is Carol a bad mother for “letting” Sophia wander off and die? Is Morgan a bad dad for leaving Duane alone for the minute it took for him to die? There was a lot going on at the farm, and Carl was a 12 year old kid intent on getting into trouble. She can’t keep him under lock and key, because then she’d be a “crazy, controlling” mom. 

I cold keep going on, but long story short: Lori made some mistakes, just like every other character, and they were FAR from the most damning mistakes made. 

And she’s not the only one on TWD demonized like this! Andrea is also a much-hated character…because she’s constantly trying to improve herself (ooh, she’s trying too hard to be “one of the boys”… no, dumbass, she wants to learn how to survive and not depend on other people). She got together with the Governor…because, from her perspective, there was nothing wrong with Woodbury aside from Michonne’s gut feeling. Yes, we know the Governor’s a bad guy. No, there’s nothing to indicate to Andrea at first that that’s the case, so she stays there. To her, it looks like they’ve found a sanctuary. The audience knows more than the character because we’re shown more, not because she’s stupid. 

Sasha was called crazy and emo and dramatic when she was having a breakdown after losing her boyfriend (Bob) and her brother (Tyreese) in a very close time frame. Her boyfriend, and then her brother. Yeah, I think she had a reason to be upset and have a bit of a breakdown. People hated Rosita in Season 7 because she was “being a bitch”. In reality, she was grieving the loss of two close friends, one of whom she had been in love with for a long time and still wasn’t completely over. She wanted revenge, an she wanted fast action. No, she wasn’t quietly taking it, because not every female character has to suffer her grief with quiet dignity. She was pissed. She lashed out. Much like Daryl did the night Glenn and Abe were killed…and after Denise was killed…and after they lost the prison…and yet somehow Daryl is still the fan favorite. 

And Jessie Anderson. Don’t even get me started on how this hellish fandom treats Jessie Anderson, a battered woman who only wanted to protect her family. Because god forbid Rick pursue her. And that’s exactly what happened: Rick pursued her. She rejected his advances multiple times, told him she was married. Her priority was always her two sons, and yet she’s seen as this homewrecking whore (what the actual fuck????) because she “got in the way” of Richonne happening?? First of all: Richonne still happened. Second: Rick. Pursued. Her. If you want to be pissed about that plotline (which was horrible and unnecessary, but that’s not the point), be pissed at Rick or the writers, not Jessie. 

And that’s the root of the problem: the hate for characters like Lori comes from a place of misogyny, because people demonize them for things that they gladly let slide or outright ignore when male characters do things that are the same or much worse. There are tons of people who love Negan, Rick, Daryl, and Shane, who have all done some things that range from stupid to questionable to downright evil…but people still love them all the same. Some people go as far as to defend their actions and claim that they weren’t that bad when they very clearly are, but I’m not gonna start in on that or else I’ll never stop and I don’t want to deal with the discourse. 

So yeah. That’s what it boils down to.